sflattem's profile

Hello...a friend of mine, Lyn07, is walking in the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life if you could donate anything please do, we want cancer gone from the face of the earth...click on link below...thank you

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/dadskryptonitemomspage

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Hello...long story short, my wife was diagnosed with a brain tumor in late October 2006, she had surgery right away, and I stopped working to take care of her. We spent every moment together until August 16, when she died.

My life is now colored by trying to find a new normal.

I was a average student, wasted time in college and got a job in the retail optical business, became a master optician and worked in that field for 22 years. I quit to return to school and earned a degree as a paralegal. Even with a 3.8 gpa, dean's list and experience writing memoranda for the court, I wasn't a young, good looking female, willing to pour a cup of coffee.

I next had a snack food route. This worked great until the owner sold to someone of less than desireous integrity. I reached a point of quitting, he called the cops when I was 1/2 hour late returning my inventory. I, in turn, discussed his fradulent insurance claim with his insurance companhy; I also contacted the FDA questioning his practise of storing food product with paint. Evidently, his business practices weren't in agreement with his insurance company and with the government...his corporation failed shortly thereafter.

I next got a job in the plastics injection molding business. I needed a job and this one had the benefits I needed. I worked my way up from assembly to inventory control and next to production scheduling. I was also the IT goto source.

After 9 years, the company decided to close our plant and move our jobs south of the border. Fortunately, my high school Spanish allowed me to explain my methods to the new supervisors.

Back to school again, this time paid by the government (part of a program for displaced workers). I also started an eBay business selling collectibles and antiques.

While learning the database field, I got a job working for a ‘call before you dig’ company. This was a good company to work for…they were exceedingly fair when I needed so much time off. I used the FMLA, vacation and leave of absence to spend all my time with my wife.

I met my wife early in my optical career. We were married in July 1969, moved to Wisconsin with job transfers, returned to Minnesota, bought a house and had our son.

My wife Terri, got a travel bug in the early 1980s. We had started camping, in fact we camped in every state campground in Minnesota.

Terri wanted to go to Europe, and we planned a trip landing in Germany, going east to Vienna, south through, Austria, west to Paris and back to Frankfurt. Our plans were specific, yet flexible. We took our 10 year old son Bryan. After 3 days, we chopped Vienna and Paris off of our schedule…we wanted to enjoy everything and couldn’t at our planned pace.

Terri and I returned the next year in spring, and went back with Bry the following year. We skipped a few years, spending time biking, cross country skiing, hiking, camping and then Terri got rheumatoid arthritis. This stopped most of our fun.

We did return to Europe in 1989, with my parents and her mother. Job loss and lack of money delayed our traveling until the late 1990s. Now with paid vacation, the travel itch was being vigorously scratched. Bahamian cruise, Cancun twice and Europe every year (twice one year) kept us busy and very happy. France became our home away from home. We also learned to rent a house or apartment, rather than stay at motels. It was actually less expensive and more enjoyable living the live, rather than just visiting.

We were actually getting ready to go to Paris again, when Terri was diagnosed with brain cancer. The flight was with frequent flyer miles, the apartment rented.

On the way to surgery, I told Terri that we could just take the next exit, go to the airport and take off for Paris…she smiled and said ‘next year’. Next year never came.

Over the years, I have changed from having a cynical, negative attitude to an understanding, open mind, respectful, positive hopeful person.

My outlook, statements and actions are now complicated by the death of my wife of 38 years. The only reason I haven’t joined her is our son, his wife and our 2 precious granddaughters.