gratefulone's profile

gratefulone

64, Male - Eons member since Dec 31, 2006

Located in Edgemont, PA

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Hometown

Madison, New Jersey

Places I've been

IN THE BEGINNING: I was born in Pittsfield, Massachusetts - the beautiful heart of the Berkshires - on New Year's Eve, December 31, 1944. Grew up in Madison, New Jersey because my father got a job in New York City when he came back from the War. ========================= ARMED SERVICES: Joined the Air Force after High School (school was not my favorite place) and spent time in Bremerhaven, Germany and Taipei, Taiwan. Got out in 1967 - just before Viet Nam became what it became. ========================== WORK/CAREER: After College, went into the sales field (Food Broker) - Then a buddy turned me on to computers (remember, in the 70's they were new - not many people knew what to do with them). Learned computer programming and it was the best move I ever made career-wise. ==========================

Education

Graham Jr College - Boston, MA, Broadcasting - Communications (never used it yet) - 1968 to 1971

More about me

MY WIFE PASSED AWAY MAY 29,2006

She was only 60 years old (She was too young to leave me, although it didn't seem young when I was in my 30's & 40's, even part of my 50's) but as I've often been told, 80 is old except to a 79 year old. She smoked all her life and it was Lung Cancer that finally took it's toll. I've made it through these terrible times with the help of the group "Death of a Spouse" which I started because I couldn't find anywhere that people understood what I was going through. That group will always be in my heart. I check it out every day - my mourning isn't done yet. I don't know how I would have gone on without it.

After she died, I sold my house in Union, NJ (just ahead of the big real estate bust, thankfully) and for too many reasons to go into here, I moved to an apartment in Edgemont, PA, about 15 miles NW of Philly, near West Chester PA.

So now I'm starting a "new" life as a widower after 22 years of being married. Ironically enough, my first wife died in her early 30's from cancer also, bone cancer. I had to figure out how to work the laundromat machines, buy groceries (wives do allot for us married guys - at least in my case) All I have to do is forget to pick up toilet paper once and it becomes really clear to me that it didn't just "appear" in the bathroom closet all these years! ;-)

I have a lot of pain and grief, but that's where The Death Of A Spouse Group comes in. I have some good days mixed in there now.

======== 2 1/2 Year Update ===============

It's been over two years now and I need to update this "About Me" part. It HAS gotten easier to accept that Lucille is gone and I have to live a life without her. The tears don't come very often anymore and the deep depression and constant sleeping I did during the first year. I still miss her, but from more of a distance than when it just happened. I have chosen not to look for someone else, in fact I've gotten quite used to living alone and it almost feels like bringing another woman into my life now would be more of an intrusion than a comfort ;-)

I'm doing ok and part of what helped me was to get up and out of my apartment and mingle with other people, even if they were just my AA group members. I had to reconnect with humans, which I wasn't doing for over a year, and it DID help me get out of "myself" and realize that other people have their own crosses to carry and stop the "Poor Me's"

Life without my Best Friend, my wife Lucille, has not been an easy path to travel, but I didn't give up. I just had to learn to take my life a day at a time (which I am already very familiar with through my years in Alcoholics Anonymous). I'm creating my own NEW life one day at a time and though it'll be quite different than before, It'll be MINE.

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