Eons member since

May 31, 2008

Age, Gender

47, Male

Location

APO, AE

Relationship

Married

Hometown

Jacksonville, North Carolina

Places I've been

Currently living in the Rheinland Palatinate of Germany. The list of places I haven't been would be shorter than the list of places I have been.

More about me

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and god-like trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in 20 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello...I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang-gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire, I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail...Last summer I toured New Jersey with a travelling centrifugal force demonstration...My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet filed my taxes.

Favorite Charities

LiveSTRONG, Puppies Behind Bars, Greyhound Rescue, Fisher House, American Red Cross

Favorite Quotes

"We're here to preserve democracy, not to practice it." Gene Hackman as Capt. Frank Ramsey in the movie Crimson Tide

Favorite Music

Blues (mostly Texas and Chicago Electric styles), Classic Rock, Alternative Rock, Frank Zappa.

Favorite Places

Anywhere but Detroit.

Favorite Animals

My seven year-old Yellow Lab Harley (AKA Chunky Love).

Activities

traveling, fine food, fine tequila, fine cigars, running, watch collecting, aviation, wakeboarding, hockey, hiking, motorsports, mountain biking, dirtsurfing, adult soap box racing, phooseball, D/s

Favorite People

My Sweetie.

Favorite TV Shows

I don't watch much TV on account the Armed Forces Television Service is pretty bad.

Favorite Movies

Twelve O'Clock High, Good Will Hunting, Finding Forrester, Apocalypse Now, James Bond Series, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Rocky Horror Picture Show, anything by Kevin Smith, Caddyshack, Animal House, Talladega Nights and Pavement Ends.

Favorite Books

The Air Force Promotion Development Guide, Most things by Clive Cussler, Richard Heinlein, Richard Herman, Stephen King, Dean Koonts, Anne Rice, Robert Ludlum, Ian Fleming, Ernest Hemmingway and Gary Larson.

More "About"

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