MindingOurElders' profile

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Relationship

In a serious relationship. Interested in meeting people for friendship and meeting people for networking

Hometown

Fargo, North Dakota

Places I've been

High School Name Fargo Central, Fargo, ND College Name North Dakota State University College Graduation Year 1974 College Graduation Major/Concentration Enlish literature major, humanities minor Occupation(s) Author, speaker and columnist News researcher I lived in Europe in the late 60s, working in a military library. I spent some time living in Denver, but have long loved the prairie lands of the high plains, where I grew up, and now live. I spent two decades caring for seven elders, wrote a book, started a column, began speaking on the subject, worked into two blogs and discovered this wonderful site. I hope to add my two cents here, as well.

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I'm a newsresearcher/eldercare columnist and an author, speaker and blogger on eldercare. You can learn about me by going to www.mindingourelders.com and/or www.mindingoureldersblogs.com, but here's a bit about my elder care "career."

It started with Joe. My elderly neighbor had lost his wife and his only child lived in New Jersey. He was totally deaf. How could I not help? My children were then young, and we adopted Joe. How could I have known he would become my charge for over five years? After Joe’s death, my own elders started falling like dominos into my care. First, my childless aunt and uncle moved to Fargo, North Dakota, where my family lived and still lives, to be closer to all of us. Then the strokes began with Uncle Wilkes. Then it was my in-laws and my parents. At one time, I was running between care-settings seven hours a day, seven days a week, helping elders, while caring for my own sons, one of whom has chronic health problems. How could I have known it would last twenty years?We go into caregiving – usually gradually – thinking in the short term. For most people, it last much longer than anticipated. I now know that I should have taken better care of myself from the start. I hope, through my work with caregivers, that I can help them do what I didn’t; I hope to help them learn the importance of self-care.During the years of caregiving, I wrote “Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories,” though the “Epilogue” was written after my last three elders died. I was divorced at 56 – three elders still living and needing me. I got back into the “real” job market, learning, on-the-fly, the skills needed in the modern world – mostly technical. But, eventually, through my job as librarian at a newspaper, I was able to start to write an elder care column, also titled “Minding Our Elders.”  I now blog on www.mindingoureldersblogs.com, www.mindingoureldersblogs.com, and www.ouralzheimers.com. Because I had written a book and knew I would need to speak in public – and because I had a horrible fear of doing so – I joined Toastmasters International. It paid off. I gained the courage to speak to groups at workshops and conferences in North Dakota and Minnesota and anywhere else I am called. I also gained the courage to do radio interviews. I’ve been on scores of shows including The Bev Smith Show, Radio Health Journal, The Tom Pope Show, The Tommy B. Show and Coping with Caregiving. “Minding Our Elder’s is a portable support group. Grieving begins when adult children start to see their parents' decline. They need support through the whole process. “Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories” keeps that support at the caregiver's fingertips. Three in the morning and you can't call a friend? No problem. The storytellers in the book understand. Read one story. Read two. Feel the comfort and support of others who have gotten through this. Tomorrow is another day. Also, the website, www.mindingourelders.com, offers many support links and agencies. Through my book, I offer emotional support. Through my newspaper column, I give practical advice and resources. Through my blogs and speaking, I hope to do both.I am a member of AARP, CAPS (Children of Aging Parents), the National Caregivers Advisory Panel and the National Family Caregivers Association. I’m also a contributing author of “The Media Librarian’s Handbook,” to be published by Facet Publishing (UK) in 2008.I am pleased and proud that “Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories” is the being used in college classrooms to humanize the caregiving experience for social work and gerontology students. Caregiver’s support has come a long way since my twenty years of intense caregiving, but it still has a long way to go. I hope to be a small part of making that happen.

 

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