When my old friend Maria called a few months ago, I thought she was going to tell me that she had a new man in her life, but that wasn't it. "I'm going to Mexico," she said. "And you're coming with me!"
"I'd love to, but there's no way," I said. I started listing the reasons: my deadlines at work; my mother's chiropractor appointments; my son's driving test; my dog's check up.
Maria paused, then asked, "So when do you take care of you?"
"I'll get back to you," I promised.
After I hung up, her question got me thinking. I'm always the peacemaker in my family. I go to the restaurants, the movies, the museums other people like. So why should I feel guilty for taking care of me? Then a voice inside of me said, "Sue, just do it." Before I could change my mind, I called Maria.
"I'm in," I told her.
The travel reconnection
Maria and I spent a week in San Miguel de Allende, nestled in the rolling hills of central Mexico. We chose this town because Maria has relatives there, and we could stay with them. This cut down on expenses -- and we had our own built-in travel guides.
We did lots of research beforehand, poring over travel books and figuring out side trips we wanted to take together. We also agreed that we wouldn't spend every second together. Maria wanted time to hang out with her cousins; I wanted time to photograph the city.
Every day was an adventure. We spent one day at the natural thermal pools. We spent another with Maria's cousins at Jardin Botanico, a natural reserve dedicated to the preservation of Mexican flora. And we spent hours roaming the city--alone and together--discovering galleries, churches, markets, and restaurants.
Going to Mexico with Maria was one of the best gifts I've ever given myself. In fact, I've made a commitment to go on a girlfriend getaway at least once year. Why?
The trip was liberating. I didn't have to manage anyone or anything.
Instead, I had time to rediscover who I am and what I like. At the same time, Maria and I had an opportunity to reconnect in a new way. Especially during the evenings. With no pressure to rush home to make dinner or meet another work deadline, we had time just to "be." We'd hang out at coffee shops or on the benches in the plaza. And when we got to our makeshift bedroom, we talked into the wee hours of the night. As at slumber parties years before, we talked about everything. Old times. Our families. What frightens us now. What we want more than anything.
When I got home a week later, I felt different. More relaxed. More in touch with me. Ready to face the challenges and stresses that everyday life brings. Even my son noticed a difference. "Maybe you should go away more often," he told me.
I'm going to take him up on that.
Travel Diary
8/12/06
I've only been here for a day, but already I have fallen in love with this city that is more than 460 years old. I'm taking lots of photos, especially of the old doors of San Miguel. Here's my favorite photo so far.
8/14/06
Today Maria's cousin, Julio, took us to a great restaurant in San Miguel: Torta Mundo. Julio told us that no one ever gets sick from eating there. All veggies are disinfected, all drinks are made with bottled water. They even make their own fresh squeezed lemonade. And they have the best quesadias and sandwiches in the city!
You can do it!
Follow these tips to plan a girlfriend getaway you'll always remember.
Choose a travel companion. Think about a girlfriend you could travel with--someone whose interests are compatible with yours. For instance, perhaps you both share a love for the outdoors. Or maybe you both enjoy the fast pace of city life. Also consider the compatibility of your budgets--what you can or are willing to pay; how you like to travel. Do you both like to make all of your travel arrangements in advance or choose a hotel once you reach your destination? Are you both looking for a restful vacation with lots of down time, or do you each want to spend every second on the move? Also consider temperament: How independent are both of you? Do you have the same spirit of adventure? How much does each of you like/need to talk? Remember, visiting with a friend for a few hours is really different from traveling with a friend for a week!
Choose your destination. Together, choose the perfect getaway spot, whether it's in a nearby city or campground, or an island across the world. To get ideas, check out the travel section of your bookstore or library. Talk to people who love to travel. The Internet is also a great resource. Find great hotel bargains on sites like SideStep and Hotwire. Or check out Orbitz, Expedia, and Priceline to find a vacation package that's right for you.
Plan your trip together. Smart planning is an essential ingredient for a great girlfriend getaway. Talk about when you'd like to go, how much you're willing to spend, criteria for places you'd like to stay, and activities you'd like to participate in--from horseback riding to hang gliding to body wraps. Also talk about how much time you might spend doing things together versus on your own. You don't need to figure out every detail, but having a general plan will give you a place to start your research.
Pack wisely. Just as you team up on planning, team up on packing. Why bring two of everything? Especially bulky "girly" stuff like hair dryers and rollers. You may also decide to double up on a backpack, camera, binoculars, guidebooks, laptop, or other equipment. Decide in advance who will bring these things, and confirm your packing lists with one another right before you leave.
Be money wise. Be sure to talk about how to handle expenses before you leave. For example, some women pool their money for joint expenses. That way, they don't have to keep track of exactly how much each person owes after every meal or spa treatment. However, if one of you is on a limited budget, you might want to discuss other ways of handling the money.
Have fun! While you're on vacation, try to let go of your worries about your children, parents, siblings, spouse, friends, and work. Remember: This is your time. Time to explore new places. To reconnect with old friends. Time to rediscover yourself!
