Try out your partner's passion

Until I met George, I had always thought of cars as a great way to get from one place to another. But my 62-year-old sweetie opened my eyes. He invited me into a world in which cars are objects of love, amusement and pride. And, to my surprise, I liked it in a big way.

He belongs to a club with 130 members -- mostly guys -- who collect Typ356 Porsches manufactured from 1948 to 1965. They gather for scenic drives, tech sessions about how to restore and maintain their cars, lawn events to show them off, vintage car race events, and weekend tours encompassing long drives, sumptuous meals and luxurious stays in country inns with wives and girlfriends.

"You'll get to enjoy this," he promised when we first began dating a couple of years ago. I was skeptical. But after agreeing to accompany him on a few car club events -- mostly to be a good sport -- I was hooked. Ordinarily a timid safety freak, I have come to love cruising country lanes, in his 1960 red roadster top down, with the wind whipping through my graying locks. I enjoy strolling around lawns strewn with dozens of brightly polished Porsches, glinting like exotic beetles in the hot sun. But most of all, I get a big kick out of the delight that George and the other guys share as they lavish love on their prized vintage vehicles.

Understanding car love

Most of the Porsche club members are over 55 - they were teens when the Typ356 was introduced. Most have grown children, and many have retired after successful careers. They love their cars for different reasons. Some, infatuated with the sporty engineering, drive their vehicles hard and fast. Others love the beauty of the Porsche design; they treat their collectable cars like precious jewels, fussing over every detail and burnishing the exterior to a mirror finish. One club member lets his two vintage Porsches luxuriate on Oriental carpets in his garage between car club events. Others enjoy tinkering with their car's engine, while still others simply love leisurely drives off the beaten track.

When they gather as a group, it's fun to watch these men break into broad grins as they hail the arrival of each familiar vehicle, able to recount its history and foibles in more detail than they can conjure up for those of the driver. It's a kick to see them tootling down a highway en masse and as they use their two-way radios (official boy's toys) to plot the next rest stop.

When they hover for what seems like hours next to their parked Porsches, admiring a new mahogany-and-ebony steering wheel or discussing ways to fine-tune a balky carburetor, there's something important going on under the surface. These guys like their cars, and they like each other. You can see it when they rendezvous at a pre-appointed spot for a drive: the questions quickly move away from cars to one another's families. And it becomes crystal clear when something goes wrong. Without great fanfare, these guys - and their wives - show up with flowers, food, and helping hands when a club member falls ill.

Not a one-way street

Taking an interest in George's passion has brought me other rewards as well. When I proposed that he share in my passion by accompanying me on a week-long stay at the Berkshire Choral Festival, he was eager to reciprocate.

We each spent a glorious week doing our own thing. While I spent five hours every day rehearsing the Bach B Minor Mass with a distinguished choral conductor and 200 choristers from across North America, George had fun sleeping late, photographing wildflowers, exploring nearby towns, and schmoozing with other non-singing partners. He pursued his strong interest in classical music through the Festival's afternoon courses on music history and theory, including several on Bach's life and musical influences.

Together, we explored area antique shops, galleries and swimming holes during free afternoons, and heard wonderful faculty concerts in the cafeteria each evening. The week culminated in a thrilling public performance featuring professional soloists and a full orchestra. On concert night, women thronged around George, begging him to persuade their spouses to come along as non-singers the following season.

That made me realize how many people pursue their own interests without giving their partners' passions a try. If you have spent months or years following such a pattern, I urge you, just once, to go along for the ride. Even if you have no interest (or ability) in the pursuit, you may discover that - in ways you might never have imagined - you get back much more than you give.

Related links

Car club directory: www.hemmings.com/clubs

Berkshire Choral Festival: www.chorus.org