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Better slow down Kbird!!!
At the rate you've been posting, you won't have anything left to post on Monday! Does that mean you're conceding?? Well, that's no fun :-(
Sharon
Sharon
NOT MORE TANTRUMS
~As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.
~Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.
~Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.
~As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.
~"Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"
~The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."
~Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.
~Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.
~As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.
~"Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"
~The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."
BUBBA & EARL - AT IT AGAIN!
~Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a poll-ice roadblock. We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!"
~"Don't worry, Bubba", Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
~"What?," asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', okay?", said Earl.
~They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
~"No, sir", said Earl. "We're on the patch!"
~"Don't worry, Bubba", Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
~"What?," asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', okay?", said Earl.
~They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
~"No, sir", said Earl. "We're on the patch!"
Preist & Nun t A Hotel
~A priest and a nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car breaks down. They are unable to get it fixed, so they decide to spend the night in a hotel. The only hotel in the town has only one room available.
~Priest: "Sister, I don't think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I'll sleep on the lounge and you have the bed."
~Nun: "I think that would be okay."
~They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten minutes later...
~Nun: "Father, I'm terribly cold."
~Priest: "Okay, I'll get you a blanket." (He does)
~Ten minutes later...
~Nun: "Father, I'm still terribly cold."
~Priest: "Okay Sister, I'll get you another blanket." (He does)
~Ten minutes later...
~Nun: "Father, I'm still terribly cold. I don't think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wife just for this one night."
~Priest: "You're probably right...get up and get your own blanket."
~Priest: "Sister, I don't think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I'll sleep on the lounge and you have the bed."
~Nun: "I think that would be okay."
~They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten minutes later...
~Nun: "Father, I'm terribly cold."
~Priest: "Okay, I'll get you a blanket." (He does)
~Ten minutes later...
~Nun: "Father, I'm still terribly cold."
~Priest: "Okay Sister, I'll get you another blanket." (He does)
~Ten minutes later...
~Nun: "Father, I'm still terribly cold. I don't think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wife just for this one night."
~Priest: "You're probably right...get up and get your own blanket."
