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Signs...

In a New York Hospital building: Mental Health Prevention Center

On a New York Convalescent Home: For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church

In a Pennsylvania cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves
Wellinformed's profile
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a joke at the expense of New Zealanders.

..

Two Kiwis, Ian and Craig, are walking down a street in Bondi.
Ian happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign
that catches his eye. The sign said 'Suits $10.00 each, Shirts
$4.00 each, Trousers $5.00 per pair'

Ian says to his pal, ' Craig, look! We could buy a whole lot of
those, and whin we get beck to InZid, we could make a fortune.
Now whin we go unto the shop, you be quiet, okay? Just lit me do
all the talking cause uf they hear our accint, they might not be
nice to us. I'll speak in my bist Aussie accint.' 'No worries,
smiled Craig, I'll keep my mouth shut.'

They go in and Ian says, 'I'll take fufty suits et $10.00 each,
100 shirts et $4.00 each, and fufty pairs of trousers et $5.00
each. I'll beck up my truck and...' The owner of the shop
interrupts, 'You're from New Zealand , aren't you?'

'Well... Yis,' says a surprised Ian. 'How the hill dud you know thet?'

The owner says, 'This is a dry cleaners'.
Wellinformed's profile
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WARNING!!!! VERY FUNNY!!!!

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And. what's worse, VERY TRUE too!
Wellinformed's profile
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Hi Group!

Here goes my first joke:

"Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.

Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline company, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best Universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the Successes of our sons. ..What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."

The three friends said: "What a shame...What a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."
Wellinformed's profile
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Why are Universities Centers of Knowledge?

Each freshman brings some in, Senior take none out, so it accumulates.
Wellinformed's profile
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