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Times are Tough
Times are Tough
>> 1. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
>> 2. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
>> 3. Hot wheels and Matchbox cars are now trading higher than GM cars.
>> 4. McDonalds is selling the 1/4-ouncer.
>> 5. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their
>> children's names.
>> 6. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.
>> 7. People in Africa are donating money to Americans.
>> 8. Motel Six won't leave the light on.
>> 9. The Mafia is laying off judges.
>> 10 The bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds"...You have
>> to call the bank and ask if they meant you or them.
>> 1. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
>> 2. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
>> 3. Hot wheels and Matchbox cars are now trading higher than GM cars.
>> 4. McDonalds is selling the 1/4-ouncer.
>> 5. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their
>> children's names.
>> 6. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.
>> 7. People in Africa are donating money to Americans.
>> 8. Motel Six won't leave the light on.
>> 9. The Mafia is laying off judges.
>> 10 The bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds"...You have
>> to call the bank and ask if they meant you or them.
AMAZING HOME REMEDIES
Amazing Home Remedies...
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE
ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY
USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED
FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER
TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM
ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T
MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE
DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE
ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY
USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED
FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER
TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM
ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T
MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE
DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM
