groups

Artery................................ The study of paintings.
Bacteria............................. Back door to a cafeteria.
Barium................................ What doctors do when patients die.
Benign................................. What you be after you be eight
Cesarean Section..........A neighborhood in Rome.
CTscan................................ Searching for kitty.
Cauterize...........................Made eye contact with her.
Colic................................... ...A sheep dog.
Coma.................................... A punctuation mark.
D & C................................... Where Washington is.
Dilate.................................. .To live long.
Enema.................................. Not a friend.
Fester.................................. Quicker than someone else.
Fibula.................................. .A small lie.
Genital................................. Non-Jewish person.
G.I.Series.......................... World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail............................. What you hang your coat on.
Impotent............................ Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain..........................Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff.................A doctor's cane.
Morbid................................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates.............................. Cheaper than day rates.
Node.................................... .I knew it.
Outpatient.........................A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear.........................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis.................................. ..Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative................A letter carrier.
Recovery Room...............Place to do upholstery.
Rectum................................ Damn near killed him.
Secretion........................... Hiding something.
Seizure............................... Roman emperor.
Tablet.................................A small table.
Terminal Illness.............Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor................................. More than one.
Urine................................... Opposite of you're out.
Varicose............................Near by / close by.

If you don't already know - go to Redneck World and click on "groups" > scroll down - and see that this group is number 1 today on Eons Top 25. Way to go You'all.

Personally, I think Maxine is a redneck. What do ya'll think?

MySpace Redneck Comments

HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capital is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Ability to cognitively process.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tarin my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ear!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction: (verb) and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

I'm a card carrying member of the Redneck Nation, my kinfolk are mostly all redneck too. Born and raised in Mississippi and lucky enough to live there most of my life. Hope to find friends and good company here.

A Texas redneck is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round drinks for everybody in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Texan just shrugs, "That's about average down home, folks...like I said, my boy's a typical Texas baby boy."

Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "WOW"! were heard. One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.

Two weeks later he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're

The father of that typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. Everybody's been making' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. We were gonna call you; so how much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."

The bartender is puzzled, and concerned. "What happened? He already Weighed 25 pounds the day he was born."

The Texas redneck takes a slow swig from his long-neck Lone Star beer, Wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised!"

Dearest Redneck Son,

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well, though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here.

It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.

The baby looks just like your brother. Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time.

Nothing much out of the normal has happened.

Your Favorite Aunt,

MOM

Incentive to climb the corporate ladder!!