Navigating Your New Life . . . Group: Messages by Mollie1107

I read all the posts and can relate to most. I was married to one man for 49 yrs and 6 months. A great human being, good father of our son and daughter, good grand father....on and on. A Deacon in the church, active in community affairs. And that is not all I want to say about him. When we got married, his family nearly disowned him because my mother had died about a year before our wedding and I had 5 siblings younger than me. We got married and took them all with us........ He said it was the "right" thing to do.

But his parents objected very strongly. In other words we did not have their blessings. It hurt, but our faith, love for one another, and perserverace brought them around after about 5 years of marriage. He was strong and I told him regardless of how they felt they were still his parents. I insisted that he visit them on a weekly basis. When they both passed away I was by their side until the end.

Then in Jan 2006 I lost the best thing that ever happened to me. He died with cancer and was not sick but about 2 months prior to his passing.

My life will never the be same. Navigating my new life has been full of turmoil. My doctor has given me cymbalta, an anti-depressant. But it does not stop the loneliness. I have tried to fit in several organizations such as Pink Lady at the hospital and served Meals on Wheels but there is a part of my heart that is broken and I have no idea how to mend it.

I retired from my job 6 months after he passed. I could not keep up with the work load in my frame of mind. I'm ok financially but money doesn't hug me at night when I'm so alone.

Please allow me thank you for this site. Anyone with any ideas I will gladly listen.

Blessings to each of you is my prayer.



Mollie in GA

My dear and beloved husband of 49 years died 13 months ago today. And the truth be known I died with him. We were very close. Had climbed so many mountains together, laughed and cried together. We were bonded together with a 4 letter word called "love". We have a son and a daughter. We liked so many of the same things. We both liked gardening together. He would come in the back door with a smile so big with his first red ripe tomato or have a basket of squash and peppers. He had an old red tractor that looked like the one on "Green Acres", We use to laugh about it. Now it sits quietly under the shed of the barn.

I still live here in the country. We were country folks, enjoyed the quiet life and all the fresh vegetables every summer.He gave away as much as we kept. I have 2 freezers that we filled up every summer. Plus all the jam and jellies we put up, i.e. fig preseves & blueberry jam.

I am thankful for the many years I was so blessed and so happy. I should be able to accept that and move on with my life but it is so hard. I didn't know how much he meant to me. Not that I took him for granted, but I just can't seem to find my place without him.

Both our children; daughter is a teacher and our son works for HUD. They live only 25 miles from me but don't come to see me but about once a month if that often.

They are "always busy"...... I can appreciate that to some degree, but where does a mother fit in? I might as well be dead to them. They seem to ignore me. But one thing for sure, I'm glad their father doesn't know how they ignore me ! He would tell them a piece of his mind in a heart beat.....

Anyone got any advise? I'd appreciate any help with the lonliness and how do I deal with my son and daughter? I know they are probably hurting too, but hey, I'm here, and i'm mother, and I need you.

Thanks for listening and God Bless you.
Mollie in Georgia