Loss and Grieving Group: Messages by vicarizona

Is it not enough that I my husband passed on but now I had a dirty trick played on me by a so called friend. It is times like this that one starts to realize that a friend is someone that you can trust. Here is the scoop I have been feeling really low as alot of you know. So a (friend) called and asked me to go with her on a trip. I had to think alot before I said OK. Now I bought a ticket and was going to leave on Sunday. I talked to her today and she just said she didn't know if she was going back to her home on Saturday--she is now in another state. I said well you asked me to come on Sunday and I spent that money and she said OH WELL. I thought about it for a while today then I called her back--of course she didn't answer her phone but I left a message telling her nicely that she hurt me and she wasn't what I called a friend, I changed appointments to come and I had to save money to be there for her. I guess another lesson I have to learn. But why do I have to have this all at one time. The positive is that I have gained alot of friends through E-ons and on May 8 I had friends that came to my cause sending balloons up for my husband and calling me. It is so hard to think that someone can be so cruel and do this to me when I am grieving for my husband. Thanks for listening. Vicki

Thanks to all of my Eons friends for helping pull through on Angel Day. I had people from all over release a balloon for My Gene. I wrote a poem and read it to him. Send flowers to the church, put flowers on the grave and then his daughter (our) flew in to be with me. My Son took off work and everyone was there with me. Don't kid yourself that night I did cry but not like one year ago. Now everyone I did all of this where was my Gene? I thought I would have a wink but none--It is going better but not easier as the heart will always yell out for My Gene. Thanks you again for all of you for your concern. Vicki

I have gottem myslef alitlle organized tday. The church in MInnesota where my Gene is buries I had flowers send in memorial of Gene. Then ON May 8 I have asked alot of people to send off a red balloom in the morning to celelbrate Gene going to heven, Then On May 8 I wrote a poem the papaer is going to print here it is:

A ttibute to My Gene passesd away on May 8, 2008
One year agao you passen away
My heart and soul you also took
I have a habit to lok and look
But you are not with me today

I know that yur family, friends, and I do so miss
Your whistle, your jokes and how yu enjoyed to fish

So on this day we wil tie a note
To a balloon your favorite color red
As we watch it floats
Up in the sky

That ballopon goes higher and highter
I will remember our Love we held so dear
Maybe an angel will come down to look
To say Gene it is your family, friends, and wife
Writing you sone little notes

The balloons went up, up and away
My heart will remember the day
A Tear will fall from my eye
When the good Lord took you to his home
Anad I was left here all alone

WE are not celebrating your new life
Now my Gene will have no more suffering of your heart
You live in a heavenly home you so deserve
Rejoycomg amd prasing God wjem your day starts

I will always Love you

Your wife Vicki

Then on May 8 the floristt will take flowers to his grave. Help me my friends to make this a day of celebration to one or the men I ever knew that showed love for all, had plans for the future, but dreams that weren't fultilled. Vicki

Today I thought OK Vicki you can make it. But every day I am in my head thinking of May 8 coming the first anniversary of my husband's death. My lifeline my parents left to go back home on Tuesday and I feel abandoned again. How can one get passed this? I talked to my Mother today and she said to get more sleep forget about that day coming wipe it out of your mind. Now I love my Mom, but this is a clear example of one doesn't know till they are in Your Shoes. How can one help another when they don't understand. I have been trying to work today cleaning keeping busy but in affect I would love to crawl under the covers and be with my husband. I know that Gene would not and would of never thought it would affect his strong Vicki but he was WRONG. Love hurts. A man the other day said you are to young put a license plate on the car that says Available. Now I had to much respect for this older gentleman but I could of slapped him (not really) but he did slap my heart. I said to him--I Love my husband it hasn't even been 1 year get real. Why are people so cruel when you could use so much understanding when we are going through this. I need everyones prayers for me as I feel I need your power to get me through these next two weeks. Thanks for listening. Vicki