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Turning my experience into fiction.
Hi there to everyone. I know I don't often post these days. I have been slowly working my way back out of my "chemo brain" and dealing with the loss of my brother. I have been writing again and was recently asked to turn the scenario of a brain tumor into a short story. I just thought I would share it with all of you since I know that we have all had decisions that we have had to make about our cancer.
The Decision
The words were there. I hear the doctor speaking, but all I can do is sit quietly showing no emotion. My mind is just numb.
"You have a decision to make. We found a benign tumor pressing on your brain stem. We feel that you could make a full recovery if you opt for surgery to remove it. The surgery, if you choose it, will cause you irreversible damage to your hearing. You will become deaf. The alternative choice, if you opt out of surgery, is that the tumor will continue to press against your brain. That can and likely will lead to a stroke or death. I am sure that by this point in time, I no longer have to tell you the dangers." said Dr. Truskowsky. "We have been in this position now too many times for me to argue the points with you. I know that you have your mind set these days." He was a tall man with a kind face and a warm demeanor. But like he said, I am a determined woman. Too many times now have we sat in this room, always with him announcing some new decision of life or death for me.
As the diagnosis sinks in, my mind becomes clear and I begin to weigh the options before me. Maybe I will die. I will certainly have headaches a lot. Do I want to go through another devastating surgery? More scars, more time off as a mother and wife. More guilt as my family has to take up the slack of my illness. Those things alone give me pause. I have been here before. It was hard to bear, watching the pain in my children's eyes, always looking at mommy and wondering if she is okay. My husband silently hides his pain inside. I knew that he was hurting then, but he is a man of such compassion that he didn't want to burden me. God I love that man so much. If he wasn't in my life, the answer would be clear. I wouldn't be here today. I would have given up long ago.
"I can give you time to think about it." Dr. Truskowsky continues. "We can schedule the surgery a month from now. I can go ahead and get you on the books. That will give you time to consult your family and think about it all. I really need to know your decision as soon as possible though. Scheduling is a big issue these days. It has been taking more time to get in."
"I will give you my decision today." I tell him with a slight smile. "First, I am off to my usual place to do some thinking. The weather is nice. I can sit and think for a while. I think you know me well enough by now to know I have pretty much made my decision. I just want to mull it over and make sure my resolve is clear." I smile at him with a determination that he had seen before. It was 5 years ago when I first came to his office. What was to be a normal exam became the first of several times that he had given me one of those "decisions" to make. I no longer get shocked by them any more. I just go empty for a moment until the reality hits home. "Okay, I better get off before my favorite spot is taken. I will call the office in a while."
"Aren't you going to discuss it with your husband first?" he asks. "He would want to know."
"Not at this time." I reply. "He has had enough to worry about because of me. No, this decision is not one that will change the status quo. The only major change would be the surgery, the time off and the hearing loss. This time I will make the decision alone. I know he will accept any choice I make. We sat down a long time ago and I told him my wishes. He fully understands."
I leave his office and head off to my favorite spot to think. The weather is nice and the drive is pleasant. For years now, whenever I wanted to clear my head, I would go to a secluded spot by the river and think. There is a quiet little bend away from the view of people. The city built walking trails along the river with benches along the pathways. It is fall now, the last of the summer flowers waft their fragrant scents through the air. The soft breezes along the water are cool but not cold. Today is a perfect day for contemplation. Nearby there are ducks swimming on the water. There are even a few geese; no doubt taking a break as they have began their migration for the season. I have been here so many times now that the animals around recognize, and no longer fear me. Two small rabbits sit in the grass near my bench eating clover and grass. A squirrel nearby gathers nuts from the walnut trees that grow along the water. Everything there but me seems to be industrious, working hard to prepare for the coming winter.
What do I do? My thoughts are swirling through my head like a brewing winter storm. A tempest of emotions comes flooding in. I know this routine all too well. I decide to get the emotions out first so that I can make a clear decision. What do I do? What do I do?
On one hand, I am tired of the headaches. I just want them to be gone. But what guarantee does surgery offer to that? It would be rid of the tumor, but at what cost? Do I want to live with the scarring? Do I want to watch my family suffer once again? Deafness, loss of hearing; without hearing it spoken aloud, the words scream through my thoughts.
I have always been one of those people that have something playing in the background. I grew up listening to music. It was a part of my very soul. If I opt for the surgery, I would never again hear such things. Suddenly a rustle in the leaves of the tree followed but a solid thump on the ground catches my attention. The shifting of the breezes has dislodged a walnut and sent it crashing to the ground. It startles the rabbits from their repast and they freeze in place until their fear passes and they realize they are in no danger. The squirrel sees his new found treasure and pounces on the walnut. I can't help but laugh out loud to see how simple things are for him. He has no reason to fear the future. His only care is gathering food to get through the winter. Life makes it's full circle for those outside of the human race. Their life is simple, no doctors telling them to make decisions. We humans have made life far too hard. We spend our life making advances only so that we can fill our lives with fear of the inevitable, life will one day end.
Checking the time on my phone I realize I need to get my son from preschool; time for contemplation is over. Just then, the cell phone rings, a sweet little song I programmed in to tell me when my husband calls. "Hi honey! How are you? How is your day?" I ask. He replies to tell me the day is good and he is just calling to check on me. From the day we were married he has called me each day to check on me. He truly is a special man and I feel blessed. "How are you? He asks as usual. "I am fine. I was just sitting by the river thinking about things. I was making some decisions about life again." I say without telling him the diagnosis. I hear his concern as he asks me "What is wrong? What happened? I know you went to the doctor again. What did he say?"
"The usual doom and gloom honey. He wants to do another operation on me. He found another tumor but it isn't malignant like the ones in the past. I was making my decision about the surgery." I don't want him to know I have any fear so I maintain an even voice.
"Will you die without the surgery? Where is the tumor?" he continues.
"No. The tumor is in an unimportant location, just my brain." I smile. " But I need to know if I want to be able to ignore you and the kids. It would make me be deaf. Then I can have an excuse for not paying attention to you." I laugh.
"That's not fair." he says. "Do you want me to come home? What are you going to do? You know I will support you no matter which way you go. I love you. The kids love you. We will always be there by you."
"I know. That is I why I have decided the way I have. I am not going to do it. It could kill me eventually. But I was told that before when I beat cancer those years ago. I want quality of life, not quantity. I could never imagine my life not being able to hear it when you tell me you love me. Besides, it is just my brain. According to men, we women never use them anyways." I smile again and laugh. "I better get going. I have to pick up our little man soon. I also have to bake some cookies for school for Mariam tomorrow. She has to take treats for her class. Life goes on."
He is silent a moment before he replies. "Okay, I will let you go. Don't let yourself worry too much about it. Everything will be fine. Get yourself some rest and I will see you later. I love you"
"I love you too. See you tonight." and I hang up the phone.
I call the doctor's office to tell him my decision not to have the surgery. I know that he never believed I would have it. I had been very sick before. They had given me options of other surgeries then too that would extend my life but diminish the quality. Then too, I had refused. This time will be no different. I thank him for his concern, make the appointments for follow-up visits and head out to pick up my son.
Later in the day, exhausted and tired for baking cookies, I sit down for a moment's peace. "MOM, he won't leave me alone." Mariam calls from her room.
"Leave your sister alone. Go to your own room." I call out.
"No, I don't want to. I am playing" cries my mischievous little boy. I know I will have to go break them up or a battle will ensue. Toys crashing, kids yelling, chaos breaks out amidst the insanity of life. Every day is an adventure in this house. There is never a quiet minute to be found. I smile to myself and begin to sing. I know I made the right decision.
The Decision
The words were there. I hear the doctor speaking, but all I can do is sit quietly showing no emotion. My mind is just numb.
"You have a decision to make. We found a benign tumor pressing on your brain stem. We feel that you could make a full recovery if you opt for surgery to remove it. The surgery, if you choose it, will cause you irreversible damage to your hearing. You will become deaf. The alternative choice, if you opt out of surgery, is that the tumor will continue to press against your brain. That can and likely will lead to a stroke or death. I am sure that by this point in time, I no longer have to tell you the dangers." said Dr. Truskowsky. "We have been in this position now too many times for me to argue the points with you. I know that you have your mind set these days." He was a tall man with a kind face and a warm demeanor. But like he said, I am a determined woman. Too many times now have we sat in this room, always with him announcing some new decision of life or death for me.
As the diagnosis sinks in, my mind becomes clear and I begin to weigh the options before me. Maybe I will die. I will certainly have headaches a lot. Do I want to go through another devastating surgery? More scars, more time off as a mother and wife. More guilt as my family has to take up the slack of my illness. Those things alone give me pause. I have been here before. It was hard to bear, watching the pain in my children's eyes, always looking at mommy and wondering if she is okay. My husband silently hides his pain inside. I knew that he was hurting then, but he is a man of such compassion that he didn't want to burden me. God I love that man so much. If he wasn't in my life, the answer would be clear. I wouldn't be here today. I would have given up long ago.
"I can give you time to think about it." Dr. Truskowsky continues. "We can schedule the surgery a month from now. I can go ahead and get you on the books. That will give you time to consult your family and think about it all. I really need to know your decision as soon as possible though. Scheduling is a big issue these days. It has been taking more time to get in."
"I will give you my decision today." I tell him with a slight smile. "First, I am off to my usual place to do some thinking. The weather is nice. I can sit and think for a while. I think you know me well enough by now to know I have pretty much made my decision. I just want to mull it over and make sure my resolve is clear." I smile at him with a determination that he had seen before. It was 5 years ago when I first came to his office. What was to be a normal exam became the first of several times that he had given me one of those "decisions" to make. I no longer get shocked by them any more. I just go empty for a moment until the reality hits home. "Okay, I better get off before my favorite spot is taken. I will call the office in a while."
"Aren't you going to discuss it with your husband first?" he asks. "He would want to know."
"Not at this time." I reply. "He has had enough to worry about because of me. No, this decision is not one that will change the status quo. The only major change would be the surgery, the time off and the hearing loss. This time I will make the decision alone. I know he will accept any choice I make. We sat down a long time ago and I told him my wishes. He fully understands."
I leave his office and head off to my favorite spot to think. The weather is nice and the drive is pleasant. For years now, whenever I wanted to clear my head, I would go to a secluded spot by the river and think. There is a quiet little bend away from the view of people. The city built walking trails along the river with benches along the pathways. It is fall now, the last of the summer flowers waft their fragrant scents through the air. The soft breezes along the water are cool but not cold. Today is a perfect day for contemplation. Nearby there are ducks swimming on the water. There are even a few geese; no doubt taking a break as they have began their migration for the season. I have been here so many times now that the animals around recognize, and no longer fear me. Two small rabbits sit in the grass near my bench eating clover and grass. A squirrel nearby gathers nuts from the walnut trees that grow along the water. Everything there but me seems to be industrious, working hard to prepare for the coming winter.
What do I do? My thoughts are swirling through my head like a brewing winter storm. A tempest of emotions comes flooding in. I know this routine all too well. I decide to get the emotions out first so that I can make a clear decision. What do I do? What do I do?
On one hand, I am tired of the headaches. I just want them to be gone. But what guarantee does surgery offer to that? It would be rid of the tumor, but at what cost? Do I want to live with the scarring? Do I want to watch my family suffer once again? Deafness, loss of hearing; without hearing it spoken aloud, the words scream through my thoughts.
I have always been one of those people that have something playing in the background. I grew up listening to music. It was a part of my very soul. If I opt for the surgery, I would never again hear such things. Suddenly a rustle in the leaves of the tree followed but a solid thump on the ground catches my attention. The shifting of the breezes has dislodged a walnut and sent it crashing to the ground. It startles the rabbits from their repast and they freeze in place until their fear passes and they realize they are in no danger. The squirrel sees his new found treasure and pounces on the walnut. I can't help but laugh out loud to see how simple things are for him. He has no reason to fear the future. His only care is gathering food to get through the winter. Life makes it's full circle for those outside of the human race. Their life is simple, no doctors telling them to make decisions. We humans have made life far too hard. We spend our life making advances only so that we can fill our lives with fear of the inevitable, life will one day end.
Checking the time on my phone I realize I need to get my son from preschool; time for contemplation is over. Just then, the cell phone rings, a sweet little song I programmed in to tell me when my husband calls. "Hi honey! How are you? How is your day?" I ask. He replies to tell me the day is good and he is just calling to check on me. From the day we were married he has called me each day to check on me. He truly is a special man and I feel blessed. "How are you? He asks as usual. "I am fine. I was just sitting by the river thinking about things. I was making some decisions about life again." I say without telling him the diagnosis. I hear his concern as he asks me "What is wrong? What happened? I know you went to the doctor again. What did he say?"
"The usual doom and gloom honey. He wants to do another operation on me. He found another tumor but it isn't malignant like the ones in the past. I was making my decision about the surgery." I don't want him to know I have any fear so I maintain an even voice.
"Will you die without the surgery? Where is the tumor?" he continues.
"No. The tumor is in an unimportant location, just my brain." I smile. " But I need to know if I want to be able to ignore you and the kids. It would make me be deaf. Then I can have an excuse for not paying attention to you." I laugh.
"That's not fair." he says. "Do you want me to come home? What are you going to do? You know I will support you no matter which way you go. I love you. The kids love you. We will always be there by you."
"I know. That is I why I have decided the way I have. I am not going to do it. It could kill me eventually. But I was told that before when I beat cancer those years ago. I want quality of life, not quantity. I could never imagine my life not being able to hear it when you tell me you love me. Besides, it is just my brain. According to men, we women never use them anyways." I smile again and laugh. "I better get going. I have to pick up our little man soon. I also have to bake some cookies for school for Mariam tomorrow. She has to take treats for her class. Life goes on."
He is silent a moment before he replies. "Okay, I will let you go. Don't let yourself worry too much about it. Everything will be fine. Get yourself some rest and I will see you later. I love you"
"I love you too. See you tonight." and I hang up the phone.
I call the doctor's office to tell him my decision not to have the surgery. I know that he never believed I would have it. I had been very sick before. They had given me options of other surgeries then too that would extend my life but diminish the quality. Then too, I had refused. This time will be no different. I thank him for his concern, make the appointments for follow-up visits and head out to pick up my son.
Later in the day, exhausted and tired for baking cookies, I sit down for a moment's peace. "MOM, he won't leave me alone." Mariam calls from her room.
"Leave your sister alone. Go to your own room." I call out.
"No, I don't want to. I am playing" cries my mischievous little boy. I know I will have to go break them up or a battle will ensue. Toys crashing, kids yelling, chaos breaks out amidst the insanity of life. Every day is an adventure in this house. There is never a quiet minute to be found. I smile to myself and begin to sing. I know I made the right decision.
Wishing you all healthy greetings
Hello to everyone!! I see that there are many new members on board since I was last active. I have spent a lot of time away and also was busy taking care of the little ones and my mother.
So far, I am winning my battle with the big C but the war isn't over. Since my last visit my Uncle and 2 of his daughter-in-laws have lost their fight with cancer. The newest of them passed just 3 days ago. The saddest loss for me though was my brother who lost his battle with cancer on June 1st. At least we got to have all of the family gathered around him in the last 2 days.
It all has made me hold life even more dearly than I did before. I am still holding my own though and fully plan to watch my 6 and 3 year olds get married one day.
I hope all of you are in the best of spirits and holding your faith in a great future. Never give up hope or stop fighting. I am proof 2 times over that we can and do survive even if doctors have given up on us. I am officially a 30 year suvivor from my first round of what was supposed to be terminal cancer. Doctors are only human. Only our creator can say when our time will come.
So far, I am winning my battle with the big C but the war isn't over. Since my last visit my Uncle and 2 of his daughter-in-laws have lost their fight with cancer. The newest of them passed just 3 days ago. The saddest loss for me though was my brother who lost his battle with cancer on June 1st. At least we got to have all of the family gathered around him in the last 2 days.
It all has made me hold life even more dearly than I did before. I am still holding my own though and fully plan to watch my 6 and 3 year olds get married one day.
I hope all of you are in the best of spirits and holding your faith in a great future. Never give up hope or stop fighting. I am proof 2 times over that we can and do survive even if doctors have given up on us. I am officially a 30 year suvivor from my first round of what was supposed to be terminal cancer. Doctors are only human. Only our creator can say when our time will come.
I Wish That You Were Me
I Wish That You Were Me
I’m standing at the window on the outside looking in.
Young women put their lives on hold until their education ends.
Yes, knowledge is important for a safe and happy life,
As long as they do not forget they were meant to be a wife.
I was young and innocent with a life ahead of me.
I never saw the cancer that God had planned for me.
I thank God that I was foolish and I married anyway.
Education means nothing when your life just fades away.
Chasing their security has gotten out of hand.
Women weren’t created to be the same as man.
Degrees look great on paper but we should follow God’s will.
Maybe they would understand if they had felt the pain I feel.
If I had married later I would have lost my life.
To never hold my children would be too deep a sacrifice.
As I see you waste your lives away for the dreams that might not be,
If only for a moment, I wish that you were me.
I’m standing at the window on the outside looking in.
Young women put their lives on hold until their education ends.
Yes, knowledge is important for a safe and happy life,
As long as they do not forget they were meant to be a wife.
I was young and innocent with a life ahead of me.
I never saw the cancer that God had planned for me.
I thank God that I was foolish and I married anyway.
Education means nothing when your life just fades away.
Chasing their security has gotten out of hand.
Women weren’t created to be the same as man.
Degrees look great on paper but we should follow God’s will.
Maybe they would understand if they had felt the pain I feel.
If I had married later I would have lost my life.
To never hold my children would be too deep a sacrifice.
As I see you waste your lives away for the dreams that might not be,
If only for a moment, I wish that you were me.
Cancer Is Just A Word
Cancer Is Just A Word
Some days I can’t even remember the words to say,
When I open my heart when it’s time to pray.
To look at me, a stranger would never know the cost.
Of this sickness inside me or the memories I have lost.
We forget to cherish every moment until its gone away,
But the gift of life is fleeting and nothing ever stays.
When I was diagnosed it seems my mind went very numb.
I didn’t want to think about all the painful days to come.
First there came the disbelief, then there came the fear.
Then came the realization that my end may soon be here.
Then came the flood of anger before the sadness finally came,
Until I peacefully accepted that life would never be the same.
I made the same mistake that so many have before,
Of feeling that my life didn’t matter anymore.
It took the contemplation of searching deep inside,
To see the self pity of my hurt and battered pride.
It doesn’t really matter how long a life I will live,
If I’m living life the fullest I have so much that I can give.
I choose to count my blessings instead of living with regret,
And build those loving memories that I never will forget.
Some days I can’t even remember the words to say,
When I open my heart when it’s time to pray.
To look at me, a stranger would never know the cost.
Of this sickness inside me or the memories I have lost.
We forget to cherish every moment until its gone away,
But the gift of life is fleeting and nothing ever stays.
When I was diagnosed it seems my mind went very numb.
I didn’t want to think about all the painful days to come.
First there came the disbelief, then there came the fear.
Then came the realization that my end may soon be here.
Then came the flood of anger before the sadness finally came,
Until I peacefully accepted that life would never be the same.
I made the same mistake that so many have before,
Of feeling that my life didn’t matter anymore.
It took the contemplation of searching deep inside,
To see the self pity of my hurt and battered pride.
It doesn’t really matter how long a life I will live,
If I’m living life the fullest I have so much that I can give.
I choose to count my blessings instead of living with regret,
And build those loving memories that I never will forget.
The War Within
The War Within
You fight a battle that so few can understand,
To win or lose the fight is not in human hands.
We feel our death attacking but it’s coming from inside,
No matter if you want to there’s no place to run and hide.
The world can look right at you but they will never see,
That somewhere deep inside you fight an unseen enemy.
Sometimes your own emotions are the worst thing you should fear,
But if you look around you’ll find you friends and family always near.
When the darkness closes on you look ahead you’ll see a light,
It will be us there to guide you through the darkness of the night.
There are many more who love you and we’ll be there when it’s done,
When we see you shine in laughter cause you know your war is won.
You fight a battle that so few can understand,
To win or lose the fight is not in human hands.
We feel our death attacking but it’s coming from inside,
No matter if you want to there’s no place to run and hide.
The world can look right at you but they will never see,
That somewhere deep inside you fight an unseen enemy.
Sometimes your own emotions are the worst thing you should fear,
But if you look around you’ll find you friends and family always near.
When the darkness closes on you look ahead you’ll see a light,
It will be us there to guide you through the darkness of the night.
There are many more who love you and we’ll be there when it’s done,
When we see you shine in laughter cause you know your war is won.
A Reflection on Life
A Reflection on Life
The reflection in the mirror rippled like the waves upon the water,
Echoing the shifting thoughts of a life filled with tears and laughter.
I glanced into the eyes of wisdom that look back into the soul,
And the rippling waves grow wider as the thoughts of life still flow.
A time must come when we must search the pathways of our life,
And examine how we chose the values if we live by wrong or right.
When you look into a strangers eyes do your eyes reflect your guilt?
Can you face God without the fear of a sinful life you built?
In the moment of reflection when you examine how you live,
Do you see a heart of goodness or a soul that God needs to forgive?
Like the eyes within the mirror, God is always watching you.
Will your soul reflect the joy of God when your life in this world through?
The reflection in the mirror rippled like the waves upon the water,
Echoing the shifting thoughts of a life filled with tears and laughter.
I glanced into the eyes of wisdom that look back into the soul,
And the rippling waves grow wider as the thoughts of life still flow.
A time must come when we must search the pathways of our life,
And examine how we chose the values if we live by wrong or right.
When you look into a strangers eyes do your eyes reflect your guilt?
Can you face God without the fear of a sinful life you built?
In the moment of reflection when you examine how you live,
Do you see a heart of goodness or a soul that God needs to forgive?
Like the eyes within the mirror, God is always watching you.
Will your soul reflect the joy of God when your life in this world through?
Thou Shalt Love Thy Chemotherapy
I don't know if any of you have ever posted this before since I have not had a chance to read too far in past messages yet. This was posted as a file in my cancer support group website. It has been a good guide to live by when fighting the battle. Since it is so long, I will post it as a reply to this post so that it doesn't eat up the page.
Through The Dark Days
Through The Dark Days
Though the dark days close around me I know that I’ll be fine.
Better things are coming my way, it’s just a matter of time.
The fear will one day fade away, the pain will soon be gone.
The support of those around me give me strength to carry on.
I feel such guilt inside me to know I bring my family pain,
But I feel so blessed to have their love and know beside me they’ll remain.
For every single tear I shed a dozen smiles will one day come.
This will soon be just a memory and all the sadness will be gone.
Though I may not see the answers when the dark days get me down,
Through all this pain and sadness many blessings can be found.
Life is filled with treasures, life is filled with tests,
As long as you place your trust in God, He will handle all the rest.
Though the dark days close around me I know that I’ll be fine.
Better things are coming my way, it’s just a matter of time.
The fear will one day fade away, the pain will soon be gone.
The support of those around me give me strength to carry on.
I feel such guilt inside me to know I bring my family pain,
But I feel so blessed to have their love and know beside me they’ll remain.
For every single tear I shed a dozen smiles will one day come.
This will soon be just a memory and all the sadness will be gone.
Though I may not see the answers when the dark days get me down,
Through all this pain and sadness many blessings can be found.
Life is filled with treasures, life is filled with tests,
As long as you place your trust in God, He will handle all the rest.
a question
Hi Everyone,
I have a question that may seem strange to you all or maybe someone else has had an experience similar and can advise me. My cancer was diagnosed last April and I have completed treatment. I am doing good but the prognosis was 56% chance of up to 5 years. However I don't go by doctors since I am already a 29 year survivor of a cancer that I was made to pay for the funeral in advance. Docs don't know everything.
My question is about how to go about getting proof if you suspect that the building you work in caused the cancer. I was the 5th person to be diagnosed in a short period of time. When I retired, 2 more were diagnosed within 2 weeks. Yesterday I was told that number 8 was diagnosed and undergoing surgery as I was being told. One man has died already and another is dying. The cancers are not all the same but very similar. 2 were sqamous cell carcinoma of the face, 1 throat, 3 colon, one bladder, and mine was anal squamous cell carcinoma. These cases have all transpired in a period of less than 2 years.
There was an inpection of the building after my diagnosis but they will never tell us what was found. The state cancer registry started to investigate but were stopped in their tracks since it is a federal building. The building had asbestos warnings hanging up in the bathrooms for a few years. My suspicion is that it may have stemmed from the anthrax scare following 9/11. In all their wisdom, the bosses decided that they would limit chance of contamination by cutting off all ventilation and fans in the building for 3 months. This is a postal facility with sorting machines that kick up a good deal of dust in the air so we had to breathe this in for those 3 months. The 2 men that have died or are dying worked in stations beside the machines. The newest one was also in a case by the machines.
If any of you have faced anything similar, how did you deal with trying to get proof? I have gone as far as I can because Uncle Sam has blocked efforts to find out by all the agencies involved. I think we deserve to know if the job is what may eventually take our lives.
I have a question that may seem strange to you all or maybe someone else has had an experience similar and can advise me. My cancer was diagnosed last April and I have completed treatment. I am doing good but the prognosis was 56% chance of up to 5 years. However I don't go by doctors since I am already a 29 year survivor of a cancer that I was made to pay for the funeral in advance. Docs don't know everything.
My question is about how to go about getting proof if you suspect that the building you work in caused the cancer. I was the 5th person to be diagnosed in a short period of time. When I retired, 2 more were diagnosed within 2 weeks. Yesterday I was told that number 8 was diagnosed and undergoing surgery as I was being told. One man has died already and another is dying. The cancers are not all the same but very similar. 2 were sqamous cell carcinoma of the face, 1 throat, 3 colon, one bladder, and mine was anal squamous cell carcinoma. These cases have all transpired in a period of less than 2 years.
There was an inpection of the building after my diagnosis but they will never tell us what was found. The state cancer registry started to investigate but were stopped in their tracks since it is a federal building. The building had asbestos warnings hanging up in the bathrooms for a few years. My suspicion is that it may have stemmed from the anthrax scare following 9/11. In all their wisdom, the bosses decided that they would limit chance of contamination by cutting off all ventilation and fans in the building for 3 months. This is a postal facility with sorting machines that kick up a good deal of dust in the air so we had to breathe this in for those 3 months. The 2 men that have died or are dying worked in stations beside the machines. The newest one was also in a case by the machines.
If any of you have faced anything similar, how did you deal with trying to get proof? I have gone as far as I can because Uncle Sam has blocked efforts to find out by all the agencies involved. I think we deserve to know if the job is what may eventually take our lives.
