Viewing details of messages, sorted by time of last reply ("sticky messages" first)
Not Rich
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
Organic Vegetables
My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn’t find any.
So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?”
“The produce guy looked at me and said, “No. You’ll have to do that yourself.”
So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?”
“The produce guy looked at me and said, “No. You’ll have to do that yourself.”
Good and Bad News
The doctor took Dan into the room and said, "Dan, I have some good news and some bad news."
Dan said, "Give me the good news."
"They're going to name a disease after you."
Dan said, "Give me the good news."
"They're going to name a disease after you."
Salmon
After browsing the restaurant menu, I had a question for the waitress. “About the salmon entrée, is that a steak or a fillet?”
“Neither,” she said. “It’s a fish.”
“Neither,” she said. “It’s a fish.”
And the policeman said - - - -
"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."
- - - - - - -
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
- - - - - - -
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
Broken Mess
When my printer's type began to grow faint, I called a local repair shop, where a friendly man informed me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told me, I might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job myself.
Pleasantly surprised by his candor, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"
"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."
Pleasantly surprised by his candor, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"
"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."
Sad Dwarf
A man was having a bad day and happened to rear-end the vehicle in front of him. Out jumped a dwarf, with arms akimbo, who proclaimed, "I'm NOT happy!!"
To which the man replied, "Well, which one are you, then?"
To which the man replied, "Well, which one are you, then?"
