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The Concerned Taxpayer
( This is my take on having a little fun at the IRS expense.)
Dear Sirs,
For many years, I have diligently paid my taxes. For the most part, I have never complained, much, even when you take more than a fair share. I am afraid that I must make an exception this year.
I know that the state of the economy is in dire straits, but I don’t think outsourcing our tax agency training to internet scam artists is acceptable. Therefore, I simply must refuse to pay the amount you have determined that I owe this year. I will attempt to explain my reasons why, in language simple enough that even your pea brains might possibly understand.
Firstly, although it might be the clever thing, to spy on America’s personal emails, I do not appreciate it. Most mail goes directly to the junk file for obvious reasons. It is neither solicited or wanted. That includes your kind offers to reduce my tax debts for just a small “processing fee.” I do have to give you credit though. Your fee is not much more than an arm and a leg, plus I am not required to mail it to some foreign country.
Secondly, I must thank you for the wonderful job of accounting you have been doing for me. I had no idea how much money I have been winning in all those EU and internet lotteries. Heck, I don’t usually even open the emails. I wasn’t aware that such prizes were considered taxable income unless I actually get it. I do appreciate your pointing out my obvious error for me. Maybe you can include collecting the funds for me in your various “processing fees.” You charge me for everything else you do.
Third, about all those inheritance taxes you are charging me for. I am afraid that I have yet to receive any of the funds here in the U.S.A. I never knew I had so many relatives around the world. It is really sad that they all have died in so many different, but tragic ways and left behind no direct heirs. It does touch my heart deeply to know that they thought of me in their last days. I just haven’t been able to afford all their lawyers “processing fees” so that I might receive the various undisclosed shipments of money. But I do promise, just as soon as I ever receive any of my vast inheritance funds, you will be the first to know, especially since you seem to track my every move.
Fourth, I know that you feel that you deserve a cut of all the charitable funds I have been entrusted with. I have yet to get any of the various percentages of the funds I have been allocated to distribute to charity upon the demise of all of those tragically ill people around the world. They have not died yet. They must truly have incredible medical care there. It is such a blessing to know that so many people of the third world nations can achieve such prosperity and wealth. It almost gives me hope for the common American citizen too. Sadly, I researched all the statistics. The only reason I can find why American people can not achieve such wealth here is that they remain under the constant thumb of the IRS, whose main goal is to take back as much of the citizen’s hard-earned money as they can. I do wish to say, that if I ever do get that money, I will take charge of it, wholly as a tax exempt charity foundation. Sorry to disappoint you there.
It is my final conclusion that I will not subject myself to the hilarity of dragging you into the courts to protest my tax bill. But please do feel free to take away all of my assets. I have a wonderful ARM mortgage that is preparing to jump to astronomical rates. The economic downfall has devoured my retirement accounts. My retirement pension amount was cut to nothing each month. Wait, I don’t need to tell you that. I worked for the Federal government, just like you. I am so sorry to hear that you will be screwed over, just like I was. No wonder the crime rate has gone up so much. A prison sentence is becoming the new bankruptcy. You take everything we own and put us in a comfortable but small place and let the government subsidize our food and housing. Yep, that makes a lot of sense to me.
I am hereby, diligently, but nicely, informing you of my intent to forgo my tax debt this year. But let me suggest this. It may come to a great surprise to you since we have never met before. I have it on reliable information that you would be a worthy organization to help me in my cause. I have acquired access to a large sum of money but the funds are currently out of my reach. Due to my circumstances, I am unable to get the money without your help. If you would help me to bring this money to the USA, I will pay your organization 20% of the before mentioned funds after you have withheld my due taxes. Please just return my correspondence with your full name, address, phone numbers, social security number and bank account numbers. I will then authorize direct release of the funds to you.
Very sincerely,
Your concerned taxpayer
Dear Sirs,
For many years, I have diligently paid my taxes. For the most part, I have never complained, much, even when you take more than a fair share. I am afraid that I must make an exception this year.
I know that the state of the economy is in dire straits, but I don’t think outsourcing our tax agency training to internet scam artists is acceptable. Therefore, I simply must refuse to pay the amount you have determined that I owe this year. I will attempt to explain my reasons why, in language simple enough that even your pea brains might possibly understand.
Firstly, although it might be the clever thing, to spy on America’s personal emails, I do not appreciate it. Most mail goes directly to the junk file for obvious reasons. It is neither solicited or wanted. That includes your kind offers to reduce my tax debts for just a small “processing fee.” I do have to give you credit though. Your fee is not much more than an arm and a leg, plus I am not required to mail it to some foreign country.
Secondly, I must thank you for the wonderful job of accounting you have been doing for me. I had no idea how much money I have been winning in all those EU and internet lotteries. Heck, I don’t usually even open the emails. I wasn’t aware that such prizes were considered taxable income unless I actually get it. I do appreciate your pointing out my obvious error for me. Maybe you can include collecting the funds for me in your various “processing fees.” You charge me for everything else you do.
Third, about all those inheritance taxes you are charging me for. I am afraid that I have yet to receive any of the funds here in the U.S.A. I never knew I had so many relatives around the world. It is really sad that they all have died in so many different, but tragic ways and left behind no direct heirs. It does touch my heart deeply to know that they thought of me in their last days. I just haven’t been able to afford all their lawyers “processing fees” so that I might receive the various undisclosed shipments of money. But I do promise, just as soon as I ever receive any of my vast inheritance funds, you will be the first to know, especially since you seem to track my every move.
Fourth, I know that you feel that you deserve a cut of all the charitable funds I have been entrusted with. I have yet to get any of the various percentages of the funds I have been allocated to distribute to charity upon the demise of all of those tragically ill people around the world. They have not died yet. They must truly have incredible medical care there. It is such a blessing to know that so many people of the third world nations can achieve such prosperity and wealth. It almost gives me hope for the common American citizen too. Sadly, I researched all the statistics. The only reason I can find why American people can not achieve such wealth here is that they remain under the constant thumb of the IRS, whose main goal is to take back as much of the citizen’s hard-earned money as they can. I do wish to say, that if I ever do get that money, I will take charge of it, wholly as a tax exempt charity foundation. Sorry to disappoint you there.
It is my final conclusion that I will not subject myself to the hilarity of dragging you into the courts to protest my tax bill. But please do feel free to take away all of my assets. I have a wonderful ARM mortgage that is preparing to jump to astronomical rates. The economic downfall has devoured my retirement accounts. My retirement pension amount was cut to nothing each month. Wait, I don’t need to tell you that. I worked for the Federal government, just like you. I am so sorry to hear that you will be screwed over, just like I was. No wonder the crime rate has gone up so much. A prison sentence is becoming the new bankruptcy. You take everything we own and put us in a comfortable but small place and let the government subsidize our food and housing. Yep, that makes a lot of sense to me.
I am hereby, diligently, but nicely, informing you of my intent to forgo my tax debt this year. But let me suggest this. It may come to a great surprise to you since we have never met before. I have it on reliable information that you would be a worthy organization to help me in my cause. I have acquired access to a large sum of money but the funds are currently out of my reach. Due to my circumstances, I am unable to get the money without your help. If you would help me to bring this money to the USA, I will pay your organization 20% of the before mentioned funds after you have withheld my due taxes. Please just return my correspondence with your full name, address, phone numbers, social security number and bank account numbers. I will then authorize direct release of the funds to you.
Very sincerely,
Your concerned taxpayer
Until The End Of Man
Until The End Of Man
They really did fit like a glove, the hidden chains that bound the tormented souls. I guess it was God's way of keeping those of us born with flaws in check. Call it a curse, call it a blessing, it really was all the same thing, anyways.
How simple, how exquisite was His solution to a nagging problem. He delegated the power of the prison to the prisoners themselves. All He had to do was give the souls the power of creative writing and poetic rhymes. No more, no less. Such an easy solution.
Whenever their minds began to stray to some unworldly thought, they were bound by their own obsessions to grab the nearest quill and write. Then, patting themselves upon the back, they sat back and reviewed their masterful creations. Taking full credit, they called it art while God watched over them in their self-delusional prison of creativity. Artists, poets, novelists and all of those with a creative bent lived oblivious to their human plight. Then, like perfect little soldiers they set forth to spread their art across the world. Entranced with their favorite mediums, they fell prisoner to their own entertainments. Not one soul suspected that they were held in check by their own desire to be amused. Everything was in balance until that fateful day.
For the rest of the story, please see reply one. This is the prologue of the new book I am writing.
They really did fit like a glove, the hidden chains that bound the tormented souls. I guess it was God's way of keeping those of us born with flaws in check. Call it a curse, call it a blessing, it really was all the same thing, anyways.
How simple, how exquisite was His solution to a nagging problem. He delegated the power of the prison to the prisoners themselves. All He had to do was give the souls the power of creative writing and poetic rhymes. No more, no less. Such an easy solution.
Whenever their minds began to stray to some unworldly thought, they were bound by their own obsessions to grab the nearest quill and write. Then, patting themselves upon the back, they sat back and reviewed their masterful creations. Taking full credit, they called it art while God watched over them in their self-delusional prison of creativity. Artists, poets, novelists and all of those with a creative bent lived oblivious to their human plight. Then, like perfect little soldiers they set forth to spread their art across the world. Entranced with their favorite mediums, they fell prisoner to their own entertainments. Not one soul suspected that they were held in check by their own desire to be amused. Everything was in balance until that fateful day.
For the rest of the story, please see reply one. This is the prologue of the new book I am writing.
The Decision
Sorry I have been away for some time now. I have been getting back into the flow of writing again so I may be occassionally be posting again.
The Decision
The words were there. I hear the doctor speaking, but all I can do is sit quietly showing no emotion. My mind is just numb.
"You have a decision to make. We found a benign tumor pressing on your brain stem. We feel that you could make a full recovery if you opt for surgery to remove it. The surgery, if you choose it, will cause you irreversible damage to your hearing. You will become deaf. The alternative choice, if you opt out of surgery, is that the tumor will continue to press against your brain. That can and likely will lead to a stroke or death. I am sure that by this point in time, I no longer have to tell you the dangers." said Dr. Truskowsky. "We have been in this position now too many times for me to argue the points with you. I know that you have your mind set these days." He was a tall man with a kind face and a warm demeanor. But like he said, I am a determined woman. Too many times now have we sat in this room, always with him announcing some new decision of life or death for me.
As the diagnosis sinks in, my mind becomes clear and I begin to weigh the options before me. Maybe I will die. I will certainly have headaches a lot. Do I want to go through another devastating surgery? More scars, more time off as a mother and wife. More guilt as my family has to take up the slack of my illness. Those things alone give me pause. I have been here before. It was hard to bear, watching the pain in my children's eyes, always looking at mommy and wondering if she is okay. My husband silently hides his pain inside. I knew that he was hurting then, but he is a man of such compassion that he didn't want to burden me. God I love that man so much. If he wasn't in my life, the answer would be clear. I wouldn't be here today. I would have given up long ago.
"I can give you time to think about it." Dr. Truskowsky continues. "We can schedule the surgery a month from now. I can go ahead and get you on the books. That will give you time to consult your family and think about it all. I really need to know your decision as soon as possible though. Scheduling is a big issue these days. It has been taking more time to get in."
"I will give you my decision today." I tell him with a slight smile. "First, I am off to my usual place to do some thinking. The weather is nice. I can sit and think for a while. I think you know me well enough by now to know I have pretty much made my decision. I just want to mull it over and make sure my resolve is clear." I smile at him with a determination that he had seen before. It was 5 years ago when I first came to his office. What was to be a normal exam became the first of several times that he had given me one of those "decisions" to make. I no longer get shocked by them any more. I just go empty for a moment until the reality hits home. "Okay, I better get off before my favorite spot is taken. I will call the office in a while."
"Aren't you going to discuss it with your husband first?" he asks. "He would want to know."
"Not at this time." I reply. "He has had enough to worry about because of me. No, this decision is not one that will change the status quo. The only major change would be the surgery, the time off and the hearing loss. This time I will make the decision alone. I know he will accept any choice I make. We sat down a long time ago and I told him my wishes. He fully understands."
I leave his office and head off to my favorite spot to think. The weather is nice and the drive is pleasant. For years now, whenever I wanted to clear my head, I would go to a secluded spot by the river and think. There is a quiet little bend away from the view of people. The city built walking trails along the river with benches along the pathways. It is fall now, the last of the summer flowers waft their fragrant scents through the air. The soft breezes along the water are cool but not cold. Today is a perfect day for contemplation. Nearby there are ducks swimming on the water. There are even a few geese; no doubt taking a break as they have began their migration for the season. I have been here so many times now that the animals around recognize, and no longer fear me. Two small rabbits sit in the grass near my bench eating clover and grass. A squirrel nearby gathers nuts from the walnut trees that grow along the water. Everything there but me seems to be industrious, working hard to prepare for the coming winter.
What do I do? My thoughts are swirling through my head like a brewing winter storm. A tempest of emotions comes flooding in. I know this routine all too well. I decide to get the emotions out first so that I can make a clear decision. What do I do? What do I do?
On one hand, I am tired of the headaches. I just want them to be gone. But what guarantee does surgery offer to that? It would be rid of the tumor, but at what cost? Do I want to live with the scarring? Do I want to watch my family suffer once again? Deafness, loss of hearing; without hearing it spoken aloud, the words scream through my thoughts.
I have always been one of those people that have something playing in the background. I grew up listening to music. It was a part of my very soul. If I opt for the surgery, I would never again hear such things. Suddenly a rustle in the leaves of the tree followed but a solid thump on the ground catches my attention. The shifting of the breezes has dislodged a walnut and sent it crashing to the ground. It startles the rabbits from their repast and they freeze in place until their fear passes and they realize they are in no danger. The squirrel sees his new found treasure and pounces on the walnut. I can't help but laugh out loud to see how simple things are for him. He has no reason to fear the future. His only care is gathering food to get through the winter. Life makes it's full circle for those outside of the human race. Their life is simple, no doctors telling them to make decisions. We humans have made life far too hard. We spend our life making advances only so that we can fill our lives with fear of the inevitable, life will one day end.
Checking the time on my phone I realize I need to get my son from preschool; time for contemplation is over. Just then, the cell phone rings, a sweet little song I programmed in to tell me when my husband calls. "Hi honey! How are you? How is your day?" I ask. He replies to tell me the day is good and he is just calling to check on me. From the day we were married he has called me each day to check on me. He truly is a special man and I feel blessed. "How are you? He asks as usual. "I am fine. I was just sitting by the river thinking about things. I was making some decisions about life again." I say without telling him the diagnosis. I hear his concern as he asks me "What is wrong? What happened? I know you went to the doctor again. What did he say?"
"The usual doom and gloom honey. He wants to do another operation on me. He found another tumor but it isn't malignant like the ones in the past. I was making my decision about the surgery." I don't want him to know I have any fear so I maintain an even voice.
"Will you die without the surgery? Where is the tumor?" he continues.
"No. The tumor is in an unimportant location, just my brain." I smile. " But I need to know if I want to be able to ignore you and the kids. It would make me be deaf. Then I can have an excuse for not paying attention to you." I laugh.
"That's not fair." he says. "Do you want me to come home? What are you going to do? You know I will support you no matter which way you go. I love you. The kids love you. We will always be there by you."
"I know. That is I why I have decided the way I have. I am not going to do it. It could kill me eventually. But I was told that before when I beat cancer those years ago. I want quality of life, not quantity. I could never imagine my life not being able to hear it when you tell me you love me. Besides, it is just my brain. According to men, we women never use them anyways." I smile again and laugh. "I better get going. I have to pick up our little man soon. I also have to bake some cookies for school for Mariam tomorrow. She has to take treats for her class. Life goes on."
He is silent a moment before he replies. "Okay, I will let you go. Don't let yourself worry too much about it. Everything will be fine. Get yourself some rest and I will see you later. I love you"
"I love you too. See you tonight." and I hang up the phone.
I call the doctor's office to tell him my decision not to have the surgery. I know that he never believed I would have it. I had been very sick before. They had given me options of other surgeries then too that would extend my life but diminish the quality. Then too, I had refused. This time will be no different. I thank him for his concern, make the appointments for follow-up visits and head out to pick up my son.
Later in the day, exhausted and tired for baking cookies, I sit down for a moment's peace. "MOM, he won't leave me alone." Mariam calls from her room.
"Leave your sister alone. Go to your own room." I call out.
"No, I don't want to. I am playing" cries my mischievous little boy. I know I will have to go break them up or a battle will ensue. Toys crashing, kids yelling, chaos breaks out amidst the insanity of life. Every day is an adventure in this house. There is never a quiet minute to be found. I smile to myself and begin to sing. I know I made the right decision.
The Decision
The words were there. I hear the doctor speaking, but all I can do is sit quietly showing no emotion. My mind is just numb.
"You have a decision to make. We found a benign tumor pressing on your brain stem. We feel that you could make a full recovery if you opt for surgery to remove it. The surgery, if you choose it, will cause you irreversible damage to your hearing. You will become deaf. The alternative choice, if you opt out of surgery, is that the tumor will continue to press against your brain. That can and likely will lead to a stroke or death. I am sure that by this point in time, I no longer have to tell you the dangers." said Dr. Truskowsky. "We have been in this position now too many times for me to argue the points with you. I know that you have your mind set these days." He was a tall man with a kind face and a warm demeanor. But like he said, I am a determined woman. Too many times now have we sat in this room, always with him announcing some new decision of life or death for me.
As the diagnosis sinks in, my mind becomes clear and I begin to weigh the options before me. Maybe I will die. I will certainly have headaches a lot. Do I want to go through another devastating surgery? More scars, more time off as a mother and wife. More guilt as my family has to take up the slack of my illness. Those things alone give me pause. I have been here before. It was hard to bear, watching the pain in my children's eyes, always looking at mommy and wondering if she is okay. My husband silently hides his pain inside. I knew that he was hurting then, but he is a man of such compassion that he didn't want to burden me. God I love that man so much. If he wasn't in my life, the answer would be clear. I wouldn't be here today. I would have given up long ago.
"I can give you time to think about it." Dr. Truskowsky continues. "We can schedule the surgery a month from now. I can go ahead and get you on the books. That will give you time to consult your family and think about it all. I really need to know your decision as soon as possible though. Scheduling is a big issue these days. It has been taking more time to get in."
"I will give you my decision today." I tell him with a slight smile. "First, I am off to my usual place to do some thinking. The weather is nice. I can sit and think for a while. I think you know me well enough by now to know I have pretty much made my decision. I just want to mull it over and make sure my resolve is clear." I smile at him with a determination that he had seen before. It was 5 years ago when I first came to his office. What was to be a normal exam became the first of several times that he had given me one of those "decisions" to make. I no longer get shocked by them any more. I just go empty for a moment until the reality hits home. "Okay, I better get off before my favorite spot is taken. I will call the office in a while."
"Aren't you going to discuss it with your husband first?" he asks. "He would want to know."
"Not at this time." I reply. "He has had enough to worry about because of me. No, this decision is not one that will change the status quo. The only major change would be the surgery, the time off and the hearing loss. This time I will make the decision alone. I know he will accept any choice I make. We sat down a long time ago and I told him my wishes. He fully understands."
I leave his office and head off to my favorite spot to think. The weather is nice and the drive is pleasant. For years now, whenever I wanted to clear my head, I would go to a secluded spot by the river and think. There is a quiet little bend away from the view of people. The city built walking trails along the river with benches along the pathways. It is fall now, the last of the summer flowers waft their fragrant scents through the air. The soft breezes along the water are cool but not cold. Today is a perfect day for contemplation. Nearby there are ducks swimming on the water. There are even a few geese; no doubt taking a break as they have began their migration for the season. I have been here so many times now that the animals around recognize, and no longer fear me. Two small rabbits sit in the grass near my bench eating clover and grass. A squirrel nearby gathers nuts from the walnut trees that grow along the water. Everything there but me seems to be industrious, working hard to prepare for the coming winter.
What do I do? My thoughts are swirling through my head like a brewing winter storm. A tempest of emotions comes flooding in. I know this routine all too well. I decide to get the emotions out first so that I can make a clear decision. What do I do? What do I do?
On one hand, I am tired of the headaches. I just want them to be gone. But what guarantee does surgery offer to that? It would be rid of the tumor, but at what cost? Do I want to live with the scarring? Do I want to watch my family suffer once again? Deafness, loss of hearing; without hearing it spoken aloud, the words scream through my thoughts.
I have always been one of those people that have something playing in the background. I grew up listening to music. It was a part of my very soul. If I opt for the surgery, I would never again hear such things. Suddenly a rustle in the leaves of the tree followed but a solid thump on the ground catches my attention. The shifting of the breezes has dislodged a walnut and sent it crashing to the ground. It startles the rabbits from their repast and they freeze in place until their fear passes and they realize they are in no danger. The squirrel sees his new found treasure and pounces on the walnut. I can't help but laugh out loud to see how simple things are for him. He has no reason to fear the future. His only care is gathering food to get through the winter. Life makes it's full circle for those outside of the human race. Their life is simple, no doctors telling them to make decisions. We humans have made life far too hard. We spend our life making advances only so that we can fill our lives with fear of the inevitable, life will one day end.
Checking the time on my phone I realize I need to get my son from preschool; time for contemplation is over. Just then, the cell phone rings, a sweet little song I programmed in to tell me when my husband calls. "Hi honey! How are you? How is your day?" I ask. He replies to tell me the day is good and he is just calling to check on me. From the day we were married he has called me each day to check on me. He truly is a special man and I feel blessed. "How are you? He asks as usual. "I am fine. I was just sitting by the river thinking about things. I was making some decisions about life again." I say without telling him the diagnosis. I hear his concern as he asks me "What is wrong? What happened? I know you went to the doctor again. What did he say?"
"The usual doom and gloom honey. He wants to do another operation on me. He found another tumor but it isn't malignant like the ones in the past. I was making my decision about the surgery." I don't want him to know I have any fear so I maintain an even voice.
"Will you die without the surgery? Where is the tumor?" he continues.
"No. The tumor is in an unimportant location, just my brain." I smile. " But I need to know if I want to be able to ignore you and the kids. It would make me be deaf. Then I can have an excuse for not paying attention to you." I laugh.
"That's not fair." he says. "Do you want me to come home? What are you going to do? You know I will support you no matter which way you go. I love you. The kids love you. We will always be there by you."
"I know. That is I why I have decided the way I have. I am not going to do it. It could kill me eventually. But I was told that before when I beat cancer those years ago. I want quality of life, not quantity. I could never imagine my life not being able to hear it when you tell me you love me. Besides, it is just my brain. According to men, we women never use them anyways." I smile again and laugh. "I better get going. I have to pick up our little man soon. I also have to bake some cookies for school for Mariam tomorrow. She has to take treats for her class. Life goes on."
He is silent a moment before he replies. "Okay, I will let you go. Don't let yourself worry too much about it. Everything will be fine. Get yourself some rest and I will see you later. I love you"
"I love you too. See you tonight." and I hang up the phone.
I call the doctor's office to tell him my decision not to have the surgery. I know that he never believed I would have it. I had been very sick before. They had given me options of other surgeries then too that would extend my life but diminish the quality. Then too, I had refused. This time will be no different. I thank him for his concern, make the appointments for follow-up visits and head out to pick up my son.
Later in the day, exhausted and tired for baking cookies, I sit down for a moment's peace. "MOM, he won't leave me alone." Mariam calls from her room.
"Leave your sister alone. Go to your own room." I call out.
"No, I don't want to. I am playing" cries my mischievous little boy. I know I will have to go break them up or a battle will ensue. Toys crashing, kids yelling, chaos breaks out amidst the insanity of life. Every day is an adventure in this house. There is never a quiet minute to be found. I smile to myself and begin to sing. I know I made the right decision.
This Crooked Twist of Fate
This Crooked Twist of Fate
For years I fought to beat the odds against the hands of time,
The clock was swiftly counting down upon this life of mine.
But fate will have the final word with its crooked little smile,
By keeping me here holding onto life for yet a little while.
I always thought I’d be the first to pass on to the light,
But one by one I watch my family fade into the night.
Decades now have come and gone but still I have to wait,
To see the final outcome of this crooked twist of fate.
Soon I’ll be the last one left within my family,
And all I’ll have remaining are my loving memories.
It’s not that I’m ungrateful that death has come so late,
It’s just that I’m astounded by this crooked twist of fate.
For years I fought to beat the odds against the hands of time,
The clock was swiftly counting down upon this life of mine.
But fate will have the final word with its crooked little smile,
By keeping me here holding onto life for yet a little while.
I always thought I’d be the first to pass on to the light,
But one by one I watch my family fade into the night.
Decades now have come and gone but still I have to wait,
To see the final outcome of this crooked twist of fate.
Soon I’ll be the last one left within my family,
And all I’ll have remaining are my loving memories.
It’s not that I’m ungrateful that death has come so late,
It’s just that I’m astounded by this crooked twist of fate.
Time Traveler
Time Traveler
I hear the maddening echo of a cold silent scream,
A reality more frightening than any dark evil dream.
I wake with the memories of all the things that I have done.
Like flames within my mind, the glaring heat of the sun.
These days have long since gone to distant places in the past.
How can time stand so still as life rushes by so fast?
I escaped life in that world to a deep hidden glen.
Now I live life in a Paradise filled with wonders once again.
Verdant forests against the deep mountain cliffs,
Conceal the glory of nature and all of God’s golden gifts.
A crystal lake that sparkles beneath the radiance of the moon,
Dancing fireflies that guide us as the dawn approaches soon.
From a world corrupt with evil where the streets are filled with crime,
No harm can touch my family here in this place outside of time.
Good or bad, heaven or hell, am I saved or am I damned?
Only God can look into my soul and know exactly who I am.
I hear the maddening echo of a cold silent scream,
A reality more frightening than any dark evil dream.
I wake with the memories of all the things that I have done.
Like flames within my mind, the glaring heat of the sun.
These days have long since gone to distant places in the past.
How can time stand so still as life rushes by so fast?
I escaped life in that world to a deep hidden glen.
Now I live life in a Paradise filled with wonders once again.
Verdant forests against the deep mountain cliffs,
Conceal the glory of nature and all of God’s golden gifts.
A crystal lake that sparkles beneath the radiance of the moon,
Dancing fireflies that guide us as the dawn approaches soon.
From a world corrupt with evil where the streets are filled with crime,
No harm can touch my family here in this place outside of time.
Good or bad, heaven or hell, am I saved or am I damned?
Only God can look into my soul and know exactly who I am.
1-2-3 Clear!
It all seems so surreal. I sit here looking down on the room watching as the triage team worked. Running from crash cart to bedside. The doctor was trying all he could while doing CPR.
“1-2-3 Clear!” Flatline.
The room convulses and for a brief moment the room fades to darkness. I turn and look beside me to a young man who seems entranced in the actions. He looks to me and silently we exchange a knowing look.
“1-2-3 Clear!” Flatline.
Darkness once again envelopes me. For just a minute I hear “Come on! You can do it!” I look and see the man in the next bed over. I remember him. He is the young police officer that was brought in with a bullet wound to the head last night. He looks good for a man that was on death’s door when I last saw him. I just smile and thank God that he will be alright.
“1-2-3 Clear!” Flatline.
Darkness. Pain unlike I have ever known before. The sounds in my ears scream at me. I can hear voices yelling, people running. Once again I look to the young man beside me. He looks sad. We both sigh, a knowing sigh. I wish I knew the words to say but in silence, he just fades away.
Across the room I watch as a second triage teams shuts down the defibrillator. They tried hard but they just couldn’t help the man. What a waste. He was only 20 years old. But in his rash arrogance of youth he believed that he was immortal. It only took an instant for everything to change. How could he have foreseen that cow on the highway? It was night. The highways were empty. He could really test out that new motorcycle to see what it was able to do. I guess he will never know.
“1-2-3 Clear!” Darkness.
The room is spinning. Again the pain rushes through me. “We have her back.” I can hear an unseen voice saying. “vital sign are returning to stable again”. From around the room I hear the voices of people cheering. “Good girl, I knew you can do it. You are a fighter.” Slowly the room is fading back into view. I manage a weak smile for the policeman in the next bed. I would love to thank him but I don’t know how to tell him how much it meant to me. How do you explain seeing him cheering me on while I watched from the rafters above?
The pain sears through me like a knife. For the moment, at least, I will survive. I have to wonder though, am I the lucky one or was the young man who faded away. He looked so peaceful. He had no more pain. I am back but I have no idea of what lies ahead for me. I am supposed to be dead. I planned for it. I made the arrangements. Is this some test from our Creator? A thousand questions are running through my head. I feel the warmth of a gentle hand touch mine. I turn and there is my mother, tears in her eyes. How can I cause so much pain to the one person who has sacrificed so much for me?
At this moment in time, I know I am blessed. I was given this chance to do the one thing that the young man will not have a chance to do. “I love you mom”. I tell her. If I once again fade to darkness, I know that I will go having been given this one great blessing. I smile and thank God. The darkness envelopes me once again. But this time, it is the sanctuary of peaceful sleep.
“1-2-3 Clear!” Flatline.
The room convulses and for a brief moment the room fades to darkness. I turn and look beside me to a young man who seems entranced in the actions. He looks to me and silently we exchange a knowing look.
“1-2-3 Clear!” Flatline.
Darkness once again envelopes me. For just a minute I hear “Come on! You can do it!” I look and see the man in the next bed over. I remember him. He is the young police officer that was brought in with a bullet wound to the head last night. He looks good for a man that was on death’s door when I last saw him. I just smile and thank God that he will be alright.
“1-2-3 Clear!” Flatline.
Darkness. Pain unlike I have ever known before. The sounds in my ears scream at me. I can hear voices yelling, people running. Once again I look to the young man beside me. He looks sad. We both sigh, a knowing sigh. I wish I knew the words to say but in silence, he just fades away.
Across the room I watch as a second triage teams shuts down the defibrillator. They tried hard but they just couldn’t help the man. What a waste. He was only 20 years old. But in his rash arrogance of youth he believed that he was immortal. It only took an instant for everything to change. How could he have foreseen that cow on the highway? It was night. The highways were empty. He could really test out that new motorcycle to see what it was able to do. I guess he will never know.
“1-2-3 Clear!” Darkness.
The room is spinning. Again the pain rushes through me. “We have her back.” I can hear an unseen voice saying. “vital sign are returning to stable again”. From around the room I hear the voices of people cheering. “Good girl, I knew you can do it. You are a fighter.” Slowly the room is fading back into view. I manage a weak smile for the policeman in the next bed. I would love to thank him but I don’t know how to tell him how much it meant to me. How do you explain seeing him cheering me on while I watched from the rafters above?
The pain sears through me like a knife. For the moment, at least, I will survive. I have to wonder though, am I the lucky one or was the young man who faded away. He looked so peaceful. He had no more pain. I am back but I have no idea of what lies ahead for me. I am supposed to be dead. I planned for it. I made the arrangements. Is this some test from our Creator? A thousand questions are running through my head. I feel the warmth of a gentle hand touch mine. I turn and there is my mother, tears in her eyes. How can I cause so much pain to the one person who has sacrificed so much for me?
At this moment in time, I know I am blessed. I was given this chance to do the one thing that the young man will not have a chance to do. “I love you mom”. I tell her. If I once again fade to darkness, I know that I will go having been given this one great blessing. I smile and thank God. The darkness envelopes me once again. But this time, it is the sanctuary of peaceful sleep.
Lifesong
Lifesong
Our hearts sang a song of laughter,
Then the laughter died away.
Then it sang a song of sadness,
When I knew you couldn’t stay.
We danced beneath the moonlight.
And our hearts sang a song of love.
I held you close all through the night,
As the songs came to us from above.
The dawn played a song of beauty
As it sang of a brand new day.
Then our lives sang the song of duty
Then you smiled and you walked away.
I went for a walk in the daylight,
As the music of life filled the air.
I ran to be home to prepare for the night,
But I cried when you weren’t there.
Then the phone played a song of warning,
As I heard what the voice had to say.
“I’m sorry to inform you he won’t be coming,
He was killed on this fateful day.”
Now the air is filled with the song of sorrow,
As tears mourn a life thrown away.
But life moves on to greet tomorrow
How many more will die today?
I hear the cries of death and dying,
The songs of war, the tears of pain.
What songs will they sing, were they only lying?
About this life we lived, was it all in vain?
Life moves on, the song keeps playing
Will this be a day filled with war and strife?
You didn’t know when you went away,
That into my arms would come this tiny new life.
Will he laugh and play and sing the songs of children,
Or hear the sounds of rockets and the songs of death?
Please God take me home to be with my husband,
Our son was born with my dying breath.
Our hearts sang a song of laughter,
Then the laughter died away.
Then it sang a song of sadness,
When I knew you couldn’t stay.
We danced beneath the moonlight.
And our hearts sang a song of love.
I held you close all through the night,
As the songs came to us from above.
The dawn played a song of beauty
As it sang of a brand new day.
Then our lives sang the song of duty
Then you smiled and you walked away.
I went for a walk in the daylight,
As the music of life filled the air.
I ran to be home to prepare for the night,
But I cried when you weren’t there.
Then the phone played a song of warning,
As I heard what the voice had to say.
“I’m sorry to inform you he won’t be coming,
He was killed on this fateful day.”
Now the air is filled with the song of sorrow,
As tears mourn a life thrown away.
But life moves on to greet tomorrow
How many more will die today?
I hear the cries of death and dying,
The songs of war, the tears of pain.
What songs will they sing, were they only lying?
About this life we lived, was it all in vain?
Life moves on, the song keeps playing
Will this be a day filled with war and strife?
You didn’t know when you went away,
That into my arms would come this tiny new life.
Will he laugh and play and sing the songs of children,
Or hear the sounds of rockets and the songs of death?
Please God take me home to be with my husband,
Our son was born with my dying breath.
Beauty
Beauty
I once was asked to name one thing on earth that’s good.
My mind raced with thoughts of life and I wished they understood.
So many things to tell them but I could only try,
To show them all the beauty that is right before their eyes.
The sweetest scent of a field of flowers,
As it’s kissed by the sun in the dawning hours.
Watch butterflies as they’re dancing upon the flowery bloom.
Or maybe a walk by the water underneath a big bright moon.
The smells of an oven hearth that’s baking,
Bringing smiles to the hearts of a world that’s waking
The smell of coffee brewing on a cold dark winter’s day,
The joy that you feel inside you when open your heart to pray.
A small baby’s smiles at his mother’s voice,
He was brought to this world by her loving choice.
The laughter of children playing games in the sand,
With no worries about tomorrow as they’re running hand in hand.
The love that is felt as families gather in a room.
The tender smiles within the eyes of every bride and groom.
There is goodness everywhere you look if you will only see,
That beauty of the world begins in the hearts of you and me.
I once was asked to name one thing on earth that’s good.
My mind raced with thoughts of life and I wished they understood.
So many things to tell them but I could only try,
To show them all the beauty that is right before their eyes.
The sweetest scent of a field of flowers,
As it’s kissed by the sun in the dawning hours.
Watch butterflies as they’re dancing upon the flowery bloom.
Or maybe a walk by the water underneath a big bright moon.
The smells of an oven hearth that’s baking,
Bringing smiles to the hearts of a world that’s waking
The smell of coffee brewing on a cold dark winter’s day,
The joy that you feel inside you when open your heart to pray.
A small baby’s smiles at his mother’s voice,
He was brought to this world by her loving choice.
The laughter of children playing games in the sand,
With no worries about tomorrow as they’re running hand in hand.
The love that is felt as families gather in a room.
The tender smiles within the eyes of every bride and groom.
There is goodness everywhere you look if you will only see,
That beauty of the world begins in the hearts of you and me.
