Viewing details of messages, sorted by time of last reply
Sticky Message
A Member In Need
It saddens me to post this, but I want you to know that our very good friend Beachbum is in the hospital . She has 2 tumors in her head, but they say she is aware of her surroundings. A lot of the newer members are not familiar with her, she was the manager of this group before Steve. I will pass along the informatiion that was given to me.....and stress very strongly that if anybody sends cards to her, please make sure they are ONLY upbeat... this is very important. Thank you my friends.
She is in intensive care and cannot receive flowers.
Pat Hilke room 4024
University hospital
1500 E. Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor MI....48109
She is in intensive care and cannot receive flowers.
Pat Hilke room 4024
University hospital
1500 E. Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor MI....48109
Today my 10th grandchild was born, she was a total surprise to my daughter who was on the pill and didn't want anymore, the Dr. said that the pill is 99.9% effective, so apparently God wants you to have this child. When I found out she was pregnant it actually scared me, because after having her 8yr. old, she was told she should NEVER get pregnant again, the next could very well kill her, also in the back of my mind I was hearing "God never closes one door without opening another" and the leukemia was getting the best of my husband and he seemed to be going down hill, so I started thinking that this time he may not recover. Well he didn't and on the day of his funeral was when we found out that it would be a girl. I haven't been excited about her impending delivery like I was before, but also I KNEW somehow that everything would be alright, cause God never gives you more than you can bear. When they brought her to the nursey and I saw her, she opened her eyes and it almost seemed as if she had something to say only couldn't, she reminded me alot of her grandpa, only he had more hair, but I believe she was sent here to help us all find happiness again, her Grandpa went by the name of Jay, so our daughter named her Jaylyn in memory of her dad and it fits, so tonight is bittersweet as I wish he was here to share my joy, but I feel he is sharing it only I just don't see it and maybe she has some love for us from her grandpa. Well night all, I hope you get some joy as I have to day. God Bless, Dawn
Maybe it's just me but I keep getting silly questions from people and I can't help but laugh.
Example: after Katrina I was on the phone for hours each day trying to get my insurance claim in. Late one night after answering questions for the millionth time the person asked if I had stayed home do I think there would have been less damage to my house. Well the first thing that happened was my entire roof was torn off and placed upside down on the front lawn then the entire house was moved over a couple inches. I had to laugh out loud picturing myself holding on to the beams like Dorothy and Toto!
Latest silly question:
I call the company holding my husband's 401K. They tell me they can't give me information until I ask him for his PIN number! Yes, I laughed out loud again. At least they immediately admitted it was a pretty stupid question.
Example: after Katrina I was on the phone for hours each day trying to get my insurance claim in. Late one night after answering questions for the millionth time the person asked if I had stayed home do I think there would have been less damage to my house. Well the first thing that happened was my entire roof was torn off and placed upside down on the front lawn then the entire house was moved over a couple inches. I had to laugh out loud picturing myself holding on to the beams like Dorothy and Toto!
Latest silly question:
I call the company holding my husband's 401K. They tell me they can't give me information until I ask him for his PIN number! Yes, I laughed out loud again. At least they immediately admitted it was a pretty stupid question.
I lost my spouse to cancer 4 years ago this week. It was a two year process of watching someone I love die and deny that he was ill. Pain was double edged in that we never spoke of the reality. Year one following his death I was on automatic pilot. Sale of our business (long planned) concluded 10 days before his death and so I suddenly found myself without work that I loved (the business was like a child) and without the man I loved. Year two I started to become a conscious thinker again and now I honestly can say that I'm whole. I'm just 67, very fit and active. My advice to people is not to put off doing things together until some specific criteria is met. We put off all sorts of things and then there was no time. Now I can travel, do and see the things that I want to do and see but doing it alone is no substitute for having companionship that is familiar and sweet. I still find it difficult to cook for myself and there are days when I force myself to get out of the house and greet the world with a smile. Still find myself wondering how he would react to a piece of news, a book, a world event. There is life after losing a spouse but it's never quite the same.
Gerry
www.connectionsforwomen.com
Gerry
www.connectionsforwomen.com
Hello, this is my first time posting. I have been reading alot of the posts for sometime now. I lost my beloved husband to cancer 15months ago. I think this 2nd year is worse than the first. My friends and family have all moved on, some of our family have even put pictures of him away, which really upsets me. I want his memory to live on, not stick his pictures in a box and be tucked away. My brother in law hasn't called me in months, he promised my husband he would look out for me. People tend to forget that the hurt for a widow does not go away in a few months, it is an ongoing process. My question is, what do you do about the loneliness? If I go out to dinner with friends, I still miss him being there too. I can't seem to think about the future either, is this normal? I don't like to make plans or go many places. I do have to work, I am only 51 years old. My friends all think I should start dating again, can't say I really want to do that. Everyone seems to think it is time to start moving on with my life. I am not sure how to. My husband was sick for 2 1/2 years and I was his only caregiver, my idenity was with him. I dont know how to move forward, OK enough now, I am starting to ramble.
For the past few days -- since the holidays, I guess -- I have been feeling pretty restless, disconnected, untethered or something along those lines. It felt good to make it through the holidays in any way shape or form without Joe -- or my Mom -- or my Dad. As I have said before, this is my fourth pitsy Christmas. I was more numb than anything else (except maybe sneezy, coughy and generally grumpy.) I guess it was a goal to get through the holidays and come out the other side. Now that I've done that, I am at loose ends, undirected. Today was my first day back at work since 12/23. I took the time off at least in part to attend to grief work. I accomplished that -- whew, it sure isn't easy, is it -- and also cleaned out some of the clutter that has accumulated, especially the stuff that I have hauled out of Joe's desks and office closet and then didn't know what to do with it. It seemed a little easier to make some of the decisions than it did a month or so ago, although there is still a great deal of stuff that I can't seem to go through and/or to disperse. Perhaps it is the ongoing act of going through his things that has me feeling so at odds with myself and the rest of the world. I miss him so much. Going through his things brings him closer and at the same time puts it right in my face that he is gone. I feel that bittersweet duality all the time; thinking of him feels so good bringing him right here with me and then it hits me all over again that he is gone. And my heart aches. I love looking at the pictures I have of him, and I ache as I do it. And we wonder why we feel crazy while we are grieving.
I am working very hard at moving forward despite the tears and the aches -- sometimes it even seems to be working.
Heads up out there -- let's honor our tears, our sadness, our anger, our loneliness and whatever else clings to us, even as we move on into the metamorphasis that happens whether we want it to or not. We are becoming different than we were as part of a couple, aren't we? Again, whether we want to or not. I guess part of that changing are the times when we are neither here nor there -- kind of like that exhilarating and sometimes terrifying moment on the jungle gym when we have let go of one bar and are swinging through the air on our way to the next one.
Thanks for being there.
Fran
I am working very hard at moving forward despite the tears and the aches -- sometimes it even seems to be working.
Heads up out there -- let's honor our tears, our sadness, our anger, our loneliness and whatever else clings to us, even as we move on into the metamorphasis that happens whether we want it to or not. We are becoming different than we were as part of a couple, aren't we? Again, whether we want to or not. I guess part of that changing are the times when we are neither here nor there -- kind of like that exhilarating and sometimes terrifying moment on the jungle gym when we have let go of one bar and are swinging through the air on our way to the next one.
Thanks for being there.
Fran
January 7th is Suzy’s birthday. It’s been more difficult giving her gifts the last two years. A few days ago, I decided to frame three of her favorite bracelets on black velvet in a shadowbox, in her honor. The silver bracelet was made for her by the goldsmith who designed and made her wedding and engagement rings. I gave it to her on the first Christmas of our married life. The bangle bracelet consisted of three interlocked bracelets, one silver, one gold and one platinum. They were a gift on our second Christmas. I had the gold bracelet made as an exact copy of the silver bracelet. I gave her that for our 30th wedding anniversary. It was at dinner at her favorite restaurant and she cried. She was rarely seen without one of them. They have been languishing in a small fireproof safe since she died. Now, they are displayed with photos of us together. It makes me smile every time I see them. A donation was also made in her honor to The American Cancer Society. I may be moving forward, but that doesn’t mean Suzy is getting left behind.
Denny
Denny
Hi y'all.
This is my first group and entry on Eons. I just lost my husband just before Thanksgiving after a long illness. I had no idea CHF could be like that! There seems to be so little information for caregivers, we just seem to network with each other, talk in waiting rooms and stumble on the information we need.
Anyway I'm finding it strange how well I've been doing. It's just also strange that this all seems like a movie I'm walking through, like something I'm "trying on" and I want to say ok, this is over, where do I go to pick up my husband, it's just another long hospital stay. We were married 36 years ago when we were just teenagers, how can I wrap my brain around this new identity?
It's similar to when we survived Hurricane Katrina. Ok, the place where we are is temporary and I'm going to go back home and jump up and down on my lawn like people do on TV and say how thankful I am that my house is ok and how lucky we are. Yeah, I'm going to go pick up Richard and get a hug and say how I missed him and how good it is to go back home, get him something to eat and tell him to take a nap and rest.
I have all this extra time now but I still have to schedule myself and my work. Everything seems to take forever to do. Time is severely warped!
Hmmm, I rattle on a bit there :)
Anyway, thanks for listening.
On a different note, how can I change the little photo that appears by my name; seems to be a default?
This is my first group and entry on Eons. I just lost my husband just before Thanksgiving after a long illness. I had no idea CHF could be like that! There seems to be so little information for caregivers, we just seem to network with each other, talk in waiting rooms and stumble on the information we need.
Anyway I'm finding it strange how well I've been doing. It's just also strange that this all seems like a movie I'm walking through, like something I'm "trying on" and I want to say ok, this is over, where do I go to pick up my husband, it's just another long hospital stay. We were married 36 years ago when we were just teenagers, how can I wrap my brain around this new identity?
It's similar to when we survived Hurricane Katrina. Ok, the place where we are is temporary and I'm going to go back home and jump up and down on my lawn like people do on TV and say how thankful I am that my house is ok and how lucky we are. Yeah, I'm going to go pick up Richard and get a hug and say how I missed him and how good it is to go back home, get him something to eat and tell him to take a nap and rest.
I have all this extra time now but I still have to schedule myself and my work. Everything seems to take forever to do. Time is severely warped!
Hmmm, I rattle on a bit there :)
Anyway, thanks for listening.
On a different note, how can I change the little photo that appears by my name; seems to be a default?
