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In Memory of
Bill "Gratefulone" Nelson
Founder of Death Of A Spouse
William D. Nelson
Dec.31,1944 - July 3, 2009
This group has helped so many!
Let us never forget him.
Founder of Death Of A Spouse
William D. Nelson
Dec.31,1944 - July 3, 2009
This group has helped so many!
Let us never forget him.
return of despair
To all of my friends in this group. I haven't been online much lately because I've been in the depths of a depression. It seems like Jim has died all over again. At night i cry because i need him beside me, to hold me and whisper to me. It has become unbearable, again. The hours drag by and I pace around the apt., thinking of him and needing him. There is no one to talk to anymore. after a few years, people don't want to hear it. You know this as well as I do. I sound like a broken record now. I was doing so well and thought I had mastered it---it being the lonliness and despair I haven't left the apt in days and don't want to see anyone anyway. I cry all the time--again. I'm writing because I need you to help me with some comforting words and please remind me that I'm not alone.
Have to be away
I will be away for a bit. My brother suddenly passed away in Texas and I need to go down there to take care of things. I don't know how long I will be away. Please send kind thoughts to my mother, she is in San Diego and 85 years old......I can only imagine how hard this is for her.
Thank you all for being there, it is like having a shoulder to lean on
Love Ya, Lyn
Thank you all for being there, it is like having a shoulder to lean on
Love Ya, Lyn
Saturday night . . . Home alone . . . Feeling lone
What do you do? These lonely evenings make your loss so much more pronounced . . I tried going to church but I just cried through the whole thing so I left early . . . I hope when nicer weather gets here I can go for a walk or bike ride . . .
posted
by Babyred500 
Lost Soul..........
You pass me on the street and out eyes briefly meet.
You hold the door open for me as I enter behind you.
I say thanks, but you have no idea that my mind is blank.
In the elevator you crack a joke, I flash a smile,
you have no idea that my heart is in denial.
You ask me how my day was and I say fine.
You have no idea that my brain and I are arguing to if I should cross the line.
My happiness is gone as I walk in this world.
The thoughts in my head have me wishing I was laying in a cold dark hole.
Once you lose your soul there is no turning back.
Everything you once dreamed of no longer has an impact.
You don't want to love nor do you want to have fun.
Your days are so long the problems in your mind make you question if you should carry on.
You smile so that's what people see on your face,
they think that you are happy but deep down inside you feel like a worthless disgrace.
Each day the performance you put on for people is Emmy award winning,
But you question yourself and wonder if you act is just a way for you to hold off your own internal sinnings.
When you wake up from a night's sleep you wonder to yourself if today is the day your heart will be back to it's old self or will it still be skipping every other beat.
You wonder if things that once made you happy to be alive will make a comeback.
You wonder if the little things in life that made you who you are will have you once again dreaming to the stars.
You wonder if you will feel less empty hearted.
You wonder to yourself who holds the match to start that fire.
You're tired of running and losing your breath.
You want to hold tight to something that will help you once again enjoy the journey into lives amazing treks.
You want to feel that every day can be better than the last.
You want to turn your lost soul feeling into a thing of your past.....
You hold the door open for me as I enter behind you.
I say thanks, but you have no idea that my mind is blank.
In the elevator you crack a joke, I flash a smile,
you have no idea that my heart is in denial.
You ask me how my day was and I say fine.
You have no idea that my brain and I are arguing to if I should cross the line.
My happiness is gone as I walk in this world.
The thoughts in my head have me wishing I was laying in a cold dark hole.
Once you lose your soul there is no turning back.
Everything you once dreamed of no longer has an impact.
You don't want to love nor do you want to have fun.
Your days are so long the problems in your mind make you question if you should carry on.
You smile so that's what people see on your face,
they think that you are happy but deep down inside you feel like a worthless disgrace.
Each day the performance you put on for people is Emmy award winning,
But you question yourself and wonder if you act is just a way for you to hold off your own internal sinnings.
When you wake up from a night's sleep you wonder to yourself if today is the day your heart will be back to it's old self or will it still be skipping every other beat.
You wonder if things that once made you happy to be alive will make a comeback.
You wonder if the little things in life that made you who you are will have you once again dreaming to the stars.
You wonder if you will feel less empty hearted.
You wonder to yourself who holds the match to start that fire.
You're tired of running and losing your breath.
You want to hold tight to something that will help you once again enjoy the journey into lives amazing treks.
You want to feel that every day can be better than the last.
You want to turn your lost soul feeling into a thing of your past.....
So Alone..........
So alone in my bed
Alone listening to nightly whispers
Alone in my thoughts
Alone standing in court
Alone I stand and fight
Alone I pray for rainbow lights
Alone in the morning I awake
Alone I celebrate my joys
Alone I cry out my sadness
Alone I voice out my fears
Alone in strenght
Alone in wealth
Alone in good health
Alone I try to understand
Alone I seek knowledge
Alone I share what is mine
Alone I try not to be alone
Alone when my time has come, I pass away
Sylvia Chidi
Alone listening to nightly whispers
Alone in my thoughts
Alone standing in court
Alone I stand and fight
Alone I pray for rainbow lights
Alone in the morning I awake
Alone I celebrate my joys
Alone I cry out my sadness
Alone I voice out my fears
Alone in strenght
Alone in wealth
Alone in good health
Alone I try to understand
Alone I seek knowledge
Alone I share what is mine
Alone I try not to be alone
Alone when my time has come, I pass away
Sylvia Chidi
Mid-February Birthdays!
thmarty, bleweyes, HoppyLady54, amblessed...may your special day be filled with love and gentle memories.
Tuesday
Well it Tuesday and I am here for no reason , except to feel like I am in a place where I fit in.. ha that is weird ..
About a month before my husband left me : He wanted to start to volunteer with Hospice... he was terminally ill and thought that he could be helpful to others in their time of need . He was the type of guy who would pull over and help you change your tire in the rain, even if he didnt know you... He held strong beliefs ..
So anyways I am thinking about carrying that forward for him : I have no reason not to I am home from work by 3pm and nothing to do
I am going to check out their website and find out some information on this.. I post it for a mere selfish reason and that is - That by saying it , maybe I will get up off my butt and do something !!
About a month before my husband left me : He wanted to start to volunteer with Hospice... he was terminally ill and thought that he could be helpful to others in their time of need . He was the type of guy who would pull over and help you change your tire in the rain, even if he didnt know you... He held strong beliefs ..
So anyways I am thinking about carrying that forward for him : I have no reason not to I am home from work by 3pm and nothing to do
I am going to check out their website and find out some information on this.. I post it for a mere selfish reason and that is - That by saying it , maybe I will get up off my butt and do something !!
Memories Give a Life ..Life
He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
