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I would like to take a minute here to welcome the new members that are joining us...I have been sending out my usual individual personal messages but it nice to see a welcome here as well.

I hope that you feel at home here and feel comfortable soon (if you haven't already) to post a little about your caregiving situation.

We have only a couple rules with the caregivers group - first, we are a real group...we talk about the good, the bad and the uglyside of what we do. Nothing you write will ever be any worse than what we have felt so you should feel safe here. I am certain that the members will be helpful and kind. If you want to send PM's - that s fine too!

The second, we have been soliticed to death already so please don't try to sell us anything - many of us are already feeling the pinch of caregiving and can't afford to spend money....

Last, be active and involved....I am so pleased with the people who stepped up to help these last weeks keeping the group going.

If you are new...I should introduce myself - I am hippygirl52. My husband had age related dementia for 6 years and I kept him at home with me until the end. Along the way - I made many discoveries and my share of mistakes. I will pose some questions and try to present a different way of looking at things.

I also research topics or bring oldies to the top if I think it would help someone. Mostly - have fun and try to post and keep it interesting.

Here is some classic holiday music to enjoy...

HG52

You are all Caregivers for someone so you must have thought of this...What are you getting your your loved one for Christmas this year?? Is it harder to find things now that they are having health issues?

Last Christmas I had bought a nice diamond and emerald ring for mom and replaced the emerald with a really nice one. i bought the ring back east while on vacation. A couple of weeks before Christmas, she burst out of her room, stomped into the kitchen screeching, "I sure hope you didn't buy me any jewelry. I don't want jewelry." I told her it was too late( I had picked the ring up that day). She continued screaming at me she didn't want it and to get rid of it til I broke into tears. She stomped back to her room and I jumped int eh car to have the expensive stone removed. I vowed to only make charitable donations i her name from then on. Guess what she wants for Christmas this year-jewelry!!! No chance. Am I being cruel? I don't want to go thru that again.

So what am I suppose to think when my Mother says she wants to go to a home so she can just eat and sleep??? I feel comfortable...even when I am in pain and then she says this?

Hi everyone. Like many of you I am starting to give care to my dad who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's (and in some ways to my husband who was recently diagnosed with diabetes). It's been rough juggling all my responsibilities, especially since I have a few kids who are in their twenties but still need a lot of advice and support from me. I'm finding it hard to have time for myself. I read some of the previous posts and find them helpful, but does anyone else have tips for someone who's just starting out?

I'm so thankful to be in this community with all of you. I look forward to your advice.

What are your favorite holiday cookies? Do you make or buy them?

Sometime my Mother answers I don't know to a simple question I may ask her. Then she want to go to bed...I think she knows things are not alright..She has episodes as she is at the beginning stages of dementia(Lewey Bodies). I thought it would not be something she would be aware of...Is it like dissasociation, when you know you are disassociating (people with PTSD have it).
Maybe someone knows this?

I have been in sole caregiver mode for 7-1/2 years devoting every moment to my ailing little mother who passed just 3 days ago at the age of 90.
I am LOST!
My little feline soul mate and I are clinging to each other for dear life.
I no longer know "who I am" or who I was before caregiving began.
I never took a break, sought respite care, took time for me.
Probably no answers to this dilemna....
oh yea, I am an only child, DUH!
My children will not be here for 20 more days.
I hardly know them anymore.
We've been 2200 miles apart the whole time.
I AM SCARED!!

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