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When I was caring for my husband - there were simple things that I used to do that I think helped him stay in the moment longer and added to his overall health. I am sharing here and would like to ask you to add to the list:

1) Light - people with dementia like light. The window blinds were wide open during the day and the lights wereon high at night. Night lights everywhere.

2) Walking - we went out daily for a walk and when he could not longer walk - we went out daily ofr a wheelchair ride to keep the stimulas going.

3) Water - I would get a glass for both of us and we would toast - 4-5 times a day.

4) Yoga breathing - in through the nose - out through the mouth deep, slow breaths for calming and also aerobic which just means adding oxygen to the blood.

5) Affection - hugging, hand holding, kisses on the cheeks, so he would get used to being touched when I had to care for him.

6) Bathing - twice a week whether he likedor not - followed with dryer hot towels and skin lotion to keep his skin healthy. When he died, he did not have a mark on him.

7) His Favorite foods - always available. He fixed on only a few things he liked to eat and I had the foods here constantly.

8) Music - we had some music everyday. He loved it and he responded better to that than TV...except for UK football. He played and he loved to watch it until the end.

How about you? What are the simple things you do in your caregiving?

Hi everyone. Like many of you I am starting to give care to my dad who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's (and in some ways to my husband who was recently diagnosed with diabetes). It's been rough juggling all my responsibilities, especially since I have a few kids who are in their twenties but still need a lot of advice and support from me. I'm finding it hard to have time for myself. I read some of the previous posts and find them helpful, but does anyone else have tips for someone who's just starting out?

I'm so thankful to be in this community with all of you. I look forward to your advice.

Was Dorothy right? Is home the only "right" choice for aging parents or can it be counter productive and detrimental? My guest for this blogtalk radio show was Leslie Peters, Director of Sales and Marketing at Villa Gardens, a full service, multi level retirement community in Pasadena, California. We explored these questions:

1. What are the dangers of betting the farm on aging in place?
2. Is assisted living the next step or are there other choices?
3. How do you begin these discussions with aging parents or your spouse?
4. What resources are available to help families make informed choices?

Here is the link for the show: view link

Sometime my Mother answers I don't know to a simple question I may ask her. Then she want to go to bed...I think she knows things are not alright..She has episodes as she is at the beginning stages of dementia(Lewey Bodies). I thought it would not be something she would be aware of...Is it like dissasociation, when you know you are disassociating (people with PTSD have it).
Maybe someone knows this?

Sassysatin sent me the following and it seemed like some good things to think about today as daily thoughts!

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them'

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. (a quote by George Carlin...)

But do share this with someone.

We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!

Worry about nothing, pray about everything!!!

Any one of these you are going to try to do?? Any one of these you need to do more?

I have been in sole caregiver mode for 7-1/2 years devoting every moment to my ailing little mother who passed just 3 days ago at the age of 90.
I am LOST!
My little feline soul mate and I are clinging to each other for dear life.
I no longer know "who I am" or who I was before caregiving began.
I never took a break, sought respite care, took time for me.
Probably no answers to this dilemna....
oh yea, I am an only child, DUH!
My children will not be here for 20 more days.
I hardly know them anymore.
We've been 2200 miles apart the whole time.
I AM SCARED!!

We are having Thanksgiving here and not all the kids can be here for Christmas, So Thanksgiving is a biggie this year.
Mom just sprung on me that she can't handle all the hubbbub and will not eat with us but will stay in her room. She will stay in her room anyway but I think she should come out to eat. She is being her usual rude self because there are people other than family coming. I cannot and will not cancel on them at such short notice. they will only be here a a short time. behavior like this makes everyone feel uncomfortable and like they are intruding. Most ahve never returned when she acts like this. I quit living and lived like she wanted it for a couple of years and I was miserable. thanks for listening, I am just venting.

elder care link

view link

to find help and resources.

We all know this can happen. It's the middle of the night and our spouse wakes us to tell us something is wrong. We call 911 and wait for the paramedics to arrive. Soon we are off to the ER.

As part of my goal to reduce stress in my life, having a bag prepared with all the things I may need for the next 24 to 48 hours would be wise. Who has time to think about what they need when the paramedics are all over your bedroom???

Now your part:

What items should we have in the bag????

I'm going to use one of those reusable bags they sell at the food store. Once packed, I will place it in the closet and have it ready as need.

This morning I got up and took an early walk with my neighbor...it is a bit cool for Arizona and as I returned home, I thanked her for getting me up and out every day and she said she was grateful to have someone to walk with, too.

This Thursday, many of us will be with friends and family - sitting around a table full of food but some of us will be Caregivers - for whatever reason...parents, spouse, or friends.

I will be with friends...my first year as a widow and while I have a lot to be sad about - through it all - I am still grateful for a lot of things...including YOU...the other caregivers and my Eons friends.

I have no regrets - I did the best I could but I miss my husband everyday. Many think the advancing dementia took him away before his death - but once he was gone...I loved everyday - even the hard days with him and I am grateful.

So before we get baking and peeling and tied up in the events of Thursday...I wanted to say that. I also wanted to tell you that I am grateful for a lot of other things on this list I will start in my first reply. Feel free to add...