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We all know this can happen. It's the middle of the night and our spouse wakes us to tell us something is wrong. We call 911 and wait for the paramedics to arrive. Soon we are off to the ER.

As part of my goal to reduce stress in my life, having a bag prepared with all the things I may need for the next 24 to 48 hours would be wise. Who has time to think about what they need when the paramedics are all over your bedroom???

Now your part:

What items should we have in the bag????

I'm going to use one of those reusable bags they sell at the food store. Once packed, I will place it in the closet and have it ready as need.

I think there are special challenges taking care of a spouse rather than a parent or family member. What do you think is different when it is a spouse?

Do you think it is easier or harder??

To all our members who have been verterans or are married to Veterans or have Veterans' who served as parents or family members - celebrate your day.

A heartfelt thank you.

As a psychologist working in the healthcare field for the last twenty years, he has been blessed with the opportunity to watch and listen to many people as they discuss their problems and attempt to find solutions to their healthcare needs. Working with research and development teams, my job is to translate what I see and hear into new products and services that better address the “jobs to be done.”

One of the things my research has helped to identify is how caregivers can prepare for and perform all their caregiving duties. The solutions that can help caregivers are identified in the “Caregiver Needs Pyramid” below:



The Four Parts of the Pyramid

The Caregiver Needs Pyramid contains four parts. The bottom part of the pyramid is the foundation, whereas the top represents the ultimate goal, which is time for you (without compromising the healthcare needs of your loved one).

The rest in first reply

I'm trying to do something I have not done in a long time.
Set a goal and make a plan. I need to reduce the stress in my life, so my first goal this month is:

Organizing your life so you become proactive as opposed to reactive.

Come along with me and share your goals.

I don't. I really don't know how except to say church prayers. I did pray when David was in the hospital. Do you think praying help us? I feel a need to connect.

This is the first group I joined and it seems like everyone has disappeared???How about some new posts?? How do you get thru the long winters if you are housebound with a disabled spouse??? Or just how is everyone doing???

On my journey to become more organized and deal with my stressed mind, I am going to start making lists. I think the action of writing down things and marking them off may help my mental health. At the end of the day I will feel a little closer to taking more control of my life.

Do you make lists? What kind of lists do you use?

If we are the caregivers, we are married to people who are sick and/or dying of an illness. In some cases, our loved ones did nothing to contribute to their illness but once they were diagnosed and under doctor's care, we sat and listened to the advice of medical professionals.

In some cases, our loved ones...listened but in many cases...they do not? As a spouse, this can cause us so much pain and also ruin or at least change our relationships. We are helpless - many times to stop the disease but maybe - if they listened, they could have a better or longer life.

What do you do? How do you handle it?

Are you tired of being the gatekeeper...nagging, reminding, and ready to or have already started to just "shut-up and color?"

Compassion Fatigue symptoms are normal displays of chronic stress resulting from the care giving work we choose to do. Leading traumatologist Eric Gentry suggests that people who are attracted to care giving often enter the field already compassion fatigued. A strong identification with helpless, suffering, or traumatized people or animals is possibly the motive. It is common for such people to hail from a tradition of what Gentry labels: other-directed care giving. Simply put, these are people who were taught at an early age to care for the needs of others before caring for their own needs. Authentic, ongoing self-care practices are absent from their lives.

If you sense that you are suffering from compassion fatigue, chances are excellent that you are. Your path to wellness begins with one small step: awareness. A heightened awareness can lead to insights regarding past traumas and painful situations that are being relived over and over within the confines of your symptoms and behaviors. With the appropriate information and support, you can embark on a journey of discovery, healing past traumas and pain that currently serve as obstacles to a healthy, happier lifestyle.

Many resources are available to help you recognize the causes and symptoms of compassion fatigue. Healing begins by employing such simple practices as regular exercise, healthy eating habits, enjoyable social activities, journaling, and restful sleep. Hopefully, the information on this website will be of use to you and help you jump-start your process.

Accepting the presence of compassion fatigue in your life only serves to validate the fact that you are a deeply caring individual. Somewhere along your healing path, the truth will present itself: You don't have to make a choice. It is possible to practice healthy, ongoing self-care while successfully continuing to care for others.
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