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Today's quote
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.
— Flavia Weedn
— Flavia Weedn
Encouragement to Caretakers
As caretakers, it would do us well to remember the words of Orison Swett Marden:
"Deep within man dwell those slumbering powers;
powers that would asstonish him,
that he never dreamed of possessing;
forces that would revolutionize his life if aroused
and put into action."
In thinking it over, when we reach down inside of us and get the strength to go on when we feel as though we can't,
don't you agree that we are awakening some of those slumbering powers that he is talking about?
It is my opinion that we do, and I stand on it.
Marie
"Deep within man dwell those slumbering powers;
powers that would asstonish him,
that he never dreamed of possessing;
forces that would revolutionize his life if aroused
and put into action."
In thinking it over, when we reach down inside of us and get the strength to go on when we feel as though we can't,
don't you agree that we are awakening some of those slumbering powers that he is talking about?
It is my opinion that we do, and I stand on it.
Marie
What days are the hardest for you?
Yesterday, my husband had a great day and even the nurse practioner said that he was "better" than she had ever seen him. We went to the mall to walk around and had lunch. A couple stops coming home and bed at 9:00pm, slept through the night and up at 7:00am.
Today, he is back to his 'normal' and I've had the blues all morning.
Is it harder on the good days, bad days or the day following a good day for you??
Today, he is back to his 'normal' and I've had the blues all morning.
Is it harder on the good days, bad days or the day following a good day for you??
The danger of giving a hug
I have just come back from the retirement home opposite our church. I went after our church service to take communion for the residents. Boy did we have fun and games. I was greeted by Peggy when I got there, she informed me that she was the owner of the home (she isn’t but its easier to humour her). She said that those who wanted to receive the sacrament were in the lounge.
So we all went into the lounge and I prepared for the service. One lady came to me and said that I had promised to give her a hug when I saw her again. So I gave her a hug. Then another lady came to me and said I had promised her a hug as well, so I gave her a hug. After this all the others came wanting a hug. All was well until I got the men, they also wanted their hug.
But Peggy – bless her, said she wasn’t having an orgy in her home. I explained that I had promised to give them all a hug when we met again (must admit I didn’t expect to hug them all before communion). She then told me I wasn’t allowed to hug people, especially those older than myself as this was obscene.
At this point a riot started. The residents who hadn’t had their hug wanted one and tried to dispose of Peggy out the back door. The real Manager up to this point had stood to one side smiling at Peggy. Then two of the male residents, 1 aged 87 and the other 91 man handled her to the lift to take her to her room, as they entered the lift Peggy screamed she was being abducted and call the police.
Anyway to cut a long story short, the manager went up to her room and tried to calm her, but she hit him with a heavy book knocking the poor chap senseless; then she screamed rape. Eventually we called the doctor and he gave her a sedative to calm her. I then went to administer the sacrament and to explain in future I would give them a hug but only in the privacy of their own rooms, or when Peggy bless her wasn’t around. But, Peggy was one of those who had asked me give her a hug when I came again. Hey Ho happy days!!
So we all went into the lounge and I prepared for the service. One lady came to me and said that I had promised to give her a hug when I saw her again. So I gave her a hug. Then another lady came to me and said I had promised her a hug as well, so I gave her a hug. After this all the others came wanting a hug. All was well until I got the men, they also wanted their hug.
But Peggy – bless her, said she wasn’t having an orgy in her home. I explained that I had promised to give them all a hug when we met again (must admit I didn’t expect to hug them all before communion). She then told me I wasn’t allowed to hug people, especially those older than myself as this was obscene.
At this point a riot started. The residents who hadn’t had their hug wanted one and tried to dispose of Peggy out the back door. The real Manager up to this point had stood to one side smiling at Peggy. Then two of the male residents, 1 aged 87 and the other 91 man handled her to the lift to take her to her room, as they entered the lift Peggy screamed she was being abducted and call the police.
Anyway to cut a long story short, the manager went up to her room and tried to calm her, but she hit him with a heavy book knocking the poor chap senseless; then she screamed rape. Eventually we called the doctor and he gave her a sedative to calm her. I then went to administer the sacrament and to explain in future I would give them a hug but only in the privacy of their own rooms, or when Peggy bless her wasn’t around. But, Peggy was one of those who had asked me give her a hug when I came again. Hey Ho happy days!!
My Story
Hi Guys - A quick recap. My husband and I take care of my 96 year old Mother. She fell in June and broke her hip - now my duties have really increased. I'm trying to adjust but am having a difficult time of it. I think mostly because of interrupted sleep and lack of continuity. I'm trying to move forward but feel like I get knocked back. (Last week we had to put a very special dog to sleep). I keep saying "this to shall pass" but I need to complain sometimes. Is this a good place to vent or are we only here for positive stuff? As you can probably tell - didn't sleep last night. Thanks for listening.
I Need Input Maybe!!!
Yesterday, I left to run a couple of errands. I was gone about an hour, not much more. I had left Dad sitting at the table, with a cup of coffee, playing a hand of solitaire and listening to talk radio. When I returned, I could faintly hear the radio, but Dad could not be seen in the main parts of the house.
I put away the milk I had picked up and walked back to his bedroom. There I found Dad sitting on the floor... cutting away at the carpet!!! Yes, cutting away at carpet. He had not said a word to me.... other than a brief statement earlier in the morning that he had a "small" project in mind. That's all... a small project!!! Needless to say, I stood there absolutely stunned!!!
When I walked in, he had already cut into the area in front of the entry way and his closet. He was aiming for about one-third of the room. The rest of the room is taken up with the bed and his night stands. He had yet to actually get the carpet away from the wall and off the strips in front of the two doors.
It took us over 4 hours to remove this small area of carpet and the staples that were used to lay it down. There is still the area where his bed is and I have no idea how he thinks we are going to handle it. Dad is not in any shape to do a project like this. Nor am I. His bedroom is not large, by any means. The furniture is adequate for his needs, and heavy. I cannot move this furniture, nor can he. I cannot even figure out how we are going to get this heavy carpet and padding from inside the house, down the stairs and outside for the trash pick-up in a couple of days. After the carpet is up, there is all the work of cleaning this floor, which has been covered in carpet for over 30 years.
Last night, Dad was barely able to move about. I have no idea what shape he will be in today. It could be a crisis here. I couldn't sleep at all last night, my anxiety level is out the roof. I am so sore and tired.
He has never done anything like this before. I don't know what to do....
I put away the milk I had picked up and walked back to his bedroom. There I found Dad sitting on the floor... cutting away at the carpet!!! Yes, cutting away at carpet. He had not said a word to me.... other than a brief statement earlier in the morning that he had a "small" project in mind. That's all... a small project!!! Needless to say, I stood there absolutely stunned!!!
When I walked in, he had already cut into the area in front of the entry way and his closet. He was aiming for about one-third of the room. The rest of the room is taken up with the bed and his night stands. He had yet to actually get the carpet away from the wall and off the strips in front of the two doors.
It took us over 4 hours to remove this small area of carpet and the staples that were used to lay it down. There is still the area where his bed is and I have no idea how he thinks we are going to handle it. Dad is not in any shape to do a project like this. Nor am I. His bedroom is not large, by any means. The furniture is adequate for his needs, and heavy. I cannot move this furniture, nor can he. I cannot even figure out how we are going to get this heavy carpet and padding from inside the house, down the stairs and outside for the trash pick-up in a couple of days. After the carpet is up, there is all the work of cleaning this floor, which has been covered in carpet for over 30 years.
Last night, Dad was barely able to move about. I have no idea what shape he will be in today. It could be a crisis here. I couldn't sleep at all last night, my anxiety level is out the roof. I am so sore and tired.
He has never done anything like this before. I don't know what to do....
Phrases to Live by
Thought I'd share this mantra with you all on getting through the downs of caregiving
Never argue, agree
Never force, reinforce
Never shame, detract
Never lecture, reassure
Never remember, reminisce
Never "I told you", repeat
Never condescend, encourage or praise
Never reason, divert
Never say "You can't", say "Do what you can do"
Never command or demand, ask or model
Never argue, agree
Never force, reinforce
Never shame, detract
Never lecture, reassure
Never remember, reminisce
Never "I told you", repeat
Never condescend, encourage or praise
Never reason, divert
Never say "You can't", say "Do what you can do"
Never command or demand, ask or model
Therapy
I didn't want him, but Gary did. I'd rescued his momma and she had this lovely litter of pups before I got her spayed. I didn't need a pup. It was enough having his mom along with our two ancient Aussies. But Gary had a cowdog once-a really great dog. And Gary lives in the past, and he wanted this pup. So sucker that I am, I said OK. I hoped that maybe he'd at least take after his short, stocky little mom but no, he took after his very big and tall dad-except for the fur. What kind of Aussie has short hair? This one does. And his ears-OMG(osh) they stand straight up except for the very tips of them. And he's cross eyed to boot. And Gary cut his tail too short when he was a newborn. He's all legs and mouth-a real goof, but then his dad's name is Bubba. What can a person expect coming from a Bubba? And he makes Gary laugh, and enjoy a little bit of each day when he looks out the window to see Jake doing something truly goofy, like chasing his tail, or rolling our daughter's doxie cross across the driveway. Or when he perks his head up and the ears catch the breeze and fold over backwards. And Gary laughs and calls him silly, and it makes everyone feel good for a moment or two. So it's worth it. He's good therapy. He'll never be the great dog Gary had because he isn't out there putting the pup up on a saddle with him and riding off checking cows, and teaching him how to head 'em and heel 'em. Two of Jake's litter mates are doing that though. But Jake does something more important I think. Nothing his breed was bred to do, but how does one put a value on laughter and a smiling face?
