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ALL MEMBERS OLD AND NEW
Just a note to say HELLO to everyone. This is a fantastic group of wonderful people who give so much of their lives to help others. Everyone please feel free to post questions, answers, comments, jokes and messages. As long as we are all doing so with the idea of helping each other get through each day as a Caregiver everyone is welcome.
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A REMINDER
Just a reminder to everyone that one of the plus points of this group is that we do not post tons of new questions and statements every day. I like the group to have time to discuss various issues. I am bigger on quality than quality. Sometimes not everyone can get on every day, so if we have a couple questions/statements per week rather than day that is ok. That way everyone has time to provide input.
Thank you,
Nanabirdie915-Manager
Thank you,
Nanabirdie915-Manager
Dad is coming home
Good news! Dad has been cleared by the doctors and is going home this Saturday. Wow, I am so proud of him.
He has had medical issues before and never completed a couple of them out of stubbroness, and this was a big challange for him.
So he is coming home, and it has entered a new stage for my helper and I. She has been here before with her nothers patients, so she knows what to expect, but I have never had to do diaper duty untill now. There are those things in life that leaves me a little squeemish, ya know? Lord help me stay stronger than the smell.
I puke easily.
But that's life and I'll get over myself soon enough.
I was so worried with him coming home, and then today I saw him walk. Really eased my worries, as he is doing about the same as he was before the fall.
Tomorrow we see how easily he can slip in and out of the car. We are taking my tuck and his car both to see what works best. Sure wish I had a van now.
But over-all today was a relief seeing him manuver around better every day.
So, wish K'lynn and I the best!
He has had medical issues before and never completed a couple of them out of stubbroness, and this was a big challange for him.
So he is coming home, and it has entered a new stage for my helper and I. She has been here before with her nothers patients, so she knows what to expect, but I have never had to do diaper duty untill now. There are those things in life that leaves me a little squeemish, ya know? Lord help me stay stronger than the smell.
I puke easily.
But that's life and I'll get over myself soon enough.
I was so worried with him coming home, and then today I saw him walk. Really eased my worries, as he is doing about the same as he was before the fall.
Tomorrow we see how easily he can slip in and out of the car. We are taking my tuck and his car both to see what works best. Sure wish I had a van now.
But over-all today was a relief seeing him manuver around better every day.
So, wish K'lynn and I the best!
Update: Mom on Hospice Care
Dear friends,
While I wanted very much to get a second opinion, the days that followed after my Mom's oncologist said it was time to begin hospice care led me to the decision that it is definitely time for hospice. Hospice is a wonderful program and we will keep mom at home. Mom seems to understand that hospice is good and isn't a death sentence.
Mom is not doing well this weekend at all. She complained of nausea for the first time yesterday, fell asleep in her chair for the first time ever, and requested to go to bed around 1:30 in the afternoon. Its now 11:00 the next day and she is still in bed. an hour ago, she requested a sponge bath in bed and clean pants. She is currently moaning in bed, and when I check on her and tell her she is moaning she says "I am?" Poor thing.
Shes rather large and I am having trouble turning her in bed so i will have to learn how to do this from the aids next week. I am also going to speak to her nurse about putting her on a regular pain med schedule. I was told this would be helpful. She has a lot of anxiety as well, and i am managing that with meds as well.
Anyone who has been through this must know the feelings I am experiencing. Depression, Sadness, helplessness. I haven't eaten anything yet today, I just forget i need to. I think Mom is scared that she doesn't feel well, but i don't know how to ease her mind and make her "feel better". Hospice sent the social worker Friday and she is going to be wonderful. A faith minister is coming Monday. We have a long way to go with the acceptance process of everything and being that my mom's hearing is horrid (tumors pressing on her brain), i am praying we can make her understand without fear.
I feel like a little child. I hate this so much.
Thank you all for being here and listening.
While I wanted very much to get a second opinion, the days that followed after my Mom's oncologist said it was time to begin hospice care led me to the decision that it is definitely time for hospice. Hospice is a wonderful program and we will keep mom at home. Mom seems to understand that hospice is good and isn't a death sentence.
Mom is not doing well this weekend at all. She complained of nausea for the first time yesterday, fell asleep in her chair for the first time ever, and requested to go to bed around 1:30 in the afternoon. Its now 11:00 the next day and she is still in bed. an hour ago, she requested a sponge bath in bed and clean pants. She is currently moaning in bed, and when I check on her and tell her she is moaning she says "I am?" Poor thing.
Shes rather large and I am having trouble turning her in bed so i will have to learn how to do this from the aids next week. I am also going to speak to her nurse about putting her on a regular pain med schedule. I was told this would be helpful. She has a lot of anxiety as well, and i am managing that with meds as well.
Anyone who has been through this must know the feelings I am experiencing. Depression, Sadness, helplessness. I haven't eaten anything yet today, I just forget i need to. I think Mom is scared that she doesn't feel well, but i don't know how to ease her mind and make her "feel better". Hospice sent the social worker Friday and she is going to be wonderful. A faith minister is coming Monday. We have a long way to go with the acceptance process of everything and being that my mom's hearing is horrid (tumors pressing on her brain), i am praying we can make her understand without fear.
I feel like a little child. I hate this so much.
Thank you all for being here and listening.
TIPS FOR HEALTHY SNACKING
As caregivers we do not always take care of ourselves as we are so busy caring for others. Here are some healty snacking tips for us to incorporate into our lives.
view link
view link
Diaper Duty
Hard topic to write about but I had a lot of experience that I will share --
No one likes to have to use diapers but older adults unfortunately have leakage problems - both front and back and in some cases with dementia - your loved one may have no idea how to use a commode or toilet anymore. Sad but true...
First and foremost - get all the needed supplies to make the job easier.
Gloves - latex come in boxes of 100 from medical supply companies. I used to ask at the hospital to include a box when they sent him home and then they were paid for by our insurance (every bit helps.)
Bum wipes for adults - they are about a foot square so you can do the wipe, fold wipe, fold thing...
Bed pads - Also called Chux...I got them at Sam's club. Fold in half and roll the person from side to side in the bed so you get the clean pad under them... if there is a soft BM it doesn't get everywhere.
I can explain more if you need it but this is a start!
No one likes to have to use diapers but older adults unfortunately have leakage problems - both front and back and in some cases with dementia - your loved one may have no idea how to use a commode or toilet anymore. Sad but true...
First and foremost - get all the needed supplies to make the job easier.
Gloves - latex come in boxes of 100 from medical supply companies. I used to ask at the hospital to include a box when they sent him home and then they were paid for by our insurance (every bit helps.)
Bum wipes for adults - they are about a foot square so you can do the wipe, fold wipe, fold thing...
Bed pads - Also called Chux...I got them at Sam's club. Fold in half and roll the person from side to side in the bed so you get the clean pad under them... if there is a soft BM it doesn't get everywhere.
I can explain more if you need it but this is a start!
Time for Hospice? Dr Says yes.
Dear friends,
Ill try to make the background short- Mom has cancer pretty much everywhere- beginning of January , the oncologist suggested pill-form chemo. It took 2 weeks to get the chemo, a total of 4 weeks passed since finding out her cancer had spread. Mom had 14 days of chemo.
Yesterday, the oncologist looked mom over, and said its time to stop chemo. I don't see a huge decline in her condition. She has an amazing appetite, perfect bowels, and no side effects to the chemo. So, I asked the Dr what she based her decision on, and she gave me a crappy answer. Mom has skin cancer which has developed in the past 3 weeks-- but it doesn't make a difference in her health, its just ugly and itchy. She has pain from the cancer in her sternum, which we manage with medication. Otherwise, shes cheerful all day, joking, and watching TV.
What I need from all of you is-- am I in denial?? And can you all help me get over my frustration with the oncologist?? I understand the stages of grieving-- Denial, Anger, bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... But why do i feel the Dr is jumping the gun??? I feel it--- yet deep down I know the truth. (I'm talking to myself while i type her) Yes, I am in denial. So, how do I move through this??
Thanks in advance!
Sunny
Ill try to make the background short- Mom has cancer pretty much everywhere- beginning of January , the oncologist suggested pill-form chemo. It took 2 weeks to get the chemo, a total of 4 weeks passed since finding out her cancer had spread. Mom had 14 days of chemo.
Yesterday, the oncologist looked mom over, and said its time to stop chemo. I don't see a huge decline in her condition. She has an amazing appetite, perfect bowels, and no side effects to the chemo. So, I asked the Dr what she based her decision on, and she gave me a crappy answer. Mom has skin cancer which has developed in the past 3 weeks-- but it doesn't make a difference in her health, its just ugly and itchy. She has pain from the cancer in her sternum, which we manage with medication. Otherwise, shes cheerful all day, joking, and watching TV.
What I need from all of you is-- am I in denial?? And can you all help me get over my frustration with the oncologist?? I understand the stages of grieving-- Denial, Anger, bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... But why do i feel the Dr is jumping the gun??? I feel it--- yet deep down I know the truth. (I'm talking to myself while i type her) Yes, I am in denial. So, how do I move through this??
Thanks in advance!
Sunny
