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Life as we see it
There isn't anyone out in the world that I know that can and does feel the way we do. Maybe some other mental illnesses are like ours, like schizophrenia maybe, but I can't get it out of my head that my mind plays these not funny tricks on me, and then I ask myself ok, Vera, now why would your mind tell you that something is completely reasonable, when you know darn good and well it isn't? That's what I don't get about our illness. I've been hospitalized so many times I can't count them anymore, 6 times just this year. I've had a break of 2 months and I'm crossing my fingers. The weirdest thoughts go through my mind, and these are thoughts that require some sort of action on my part, like using every coping skill I've ever learned at least twice, or trying to convince my mind that whatever it just came up with isn't so, so don't follow through with it. That doesn't even count the times I get so depressed I don't feel I can go on. Such a short statement, but it means volumes to us. If you've been to the depths of depression like I have and as many times, you know what I'm talking about.
I go to group therapy twice a week, see my therapist once a week, and my Doc once a month. Just to be able to function. Half of my family is scared of me and the other half is scared for me, some a little of both. They don't understand, they can't. It's just impossible to describe the depths of our feelings. We were made to be survivors for some reason, I know so many of us don't make it, but maybe they made it till they needed to.
I go to group therapy twice a week, see my therapist once a week, and my Doc once a month. Just to be able to function. Half of my family is scared of me and the other half is scared for me, some a little of both. They don't understand, they can't. It's just impossible to describe the depths of our feelings. We were made to be survivors for some reason, I know so many of us don't make it, but maybe they made it till they needed to.
hospital
Hi guys, I just got out of the hospital yesterday, Ive been there since Tuesday, I can't believe I lost it so quickly, because I was fine, and then I started having anxiety attacks, so the Dr put me on a different med, and it has side effects so can't give a regular dose yet, I have to take it slow with this med, hopefully the side effects won't last too long. But I'm feeling much better now, ready to jump back on the bandwagon so to speak. If I just could get the motivation to clean my kitchen!
