Jokes Bernie Mac Should Have Told
Curtesty Comedy Central
"Why did the laid-off factory worker cross the road? To get access to decent heath care, which he'd never get under George W. Bush, so he tried to go to Canada, but he got stopped by the border patrol and shipped off to Guantanamo Bay, where he was waterboarded into giving false confessions. That's not my America."
"A Democrat, a Republican, and an Independent walk into a bar, and the bartender says to the Democrat, 'You clearly have the best vision for our nation. Here, take my guns!'"
"My little nephew came to me and said, 'Uncle, what's the difference between a hypothetical question and a realistic question?' I said, 'I don't know, but go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd like equal pay for equal work. And tell her I'm so sorry for the crimes committed by my gender; if she needs me, I'll be in the shed whipping myself."
"A Democrat and a Republican show up at the pearly gates. The Republican goes to hell because it turns out God is a lesbian of color."
"Take my progressive taxation and domestic infrastructure reinvestment plan, please!"
"Why did the laid-off factory worker cross the road? To get access to decent heath care, which he'd never get under George W. Bush, so he tried to go to Canada, but he got stopped by the border patrol and shipped off to Guantanamo Bay, where he was waterboarded into giving false confessions. That's not my America."
"A Democrat, a Republican, and an Independent walk into a bar, and the bartender says to the Democrat, 'You clearly have the best vision for our nation. Here, take my guns!'"
"My little nephew came to me and said, 'Uncle, what's the difference between a hypothetical question and a realistic question?' I said, 'I don't know, but go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd like equal pay for equal work. And tell her I'm so sorry for the crimes committed by my gender; if she needs me, I'll be in the shed whipping myself."
"A Democrat and a Republican show up at the pearly gates. The Republican goes to hell because it turns out God is a lesbian of color."
"Take my progressive taxation and domestic infrastructure reinvestment plan, please!"
