HI FROM HEARTBROKEN MOM. your right!! there is no pain like this one!! when you raise them ur whole life, dedicate 110% and they walk away, it takes yrs of therapy and still you never get over it!! you ALWAYS wonder how they are doing, why they left, don't they care about us, and on and on. Let me tell u when my daughter (my one and only) called me and told me she was getting married (in New Zealand) just her and her hubby my heart was broke!!!! i felt like "my daughter doesn't want me at her wedding???) i could not believe it. well i kept the hurt to myself and let her do as she plesed but believe me it's buried down there and always will be!! yes we need to share our stories!! i thought i was ALL ALONE IN THIS WORLD WITH THIS ONE!! and my daughter wasn't on drugs, alcohol, in a cult or anything like that. she just made a choice to leave us out. it's really sad for her. she has no siblings either. and as time goes on and i get older and older (55 now) i wonder (and pls don't think i'm cruel) if she ever comes back will i take her back at this point? do i really want her back when i'm in my 70-s, 80's maybe in a rocking chair and little time left?? when i missed her 20's, now 30's and who knows how much longer??? it's unreal. not to minimize losing a child at all (that has to be the worse thing in the world) but when you lose them and they are well and ALIVE, it's a hurt and hole in your heart like no other!! yes we need to reach out to each other!! we need to hear each others stories!!!!!!! so pls share them. we may have more in common than you know!!!! sunsetgal28
Well, I found out purely by accident that my daughter is getting married in September. She has not spoken to me in over a year and she boycotted her grandmother, (my mother's) wake and funeral.
I don't understand it. I figure, though, that the door is always open. I've reached out to her in every way possible and I miss her, I'm angry at her, I'm hurt but, strangely, I love that child, my only one, who was so glorious and sunny growing up. Seeing photos of her can make me cry. Thinking of things, remembering...sometimes nothing at all and I'm a puddle of tears.
She is my only living blood relative. I miss her like I would miss oxygen and it is suffocating me, this sadness.
Thanks for listening!
Hope you find peace...I hope we all do .
Lynn
How we can alleviate the toxic cocktail? - get on with our lives. Create family that is outside the boundaries of birth children. Love life, love others, create, nuture, give...
posted by RoCD
about 1 month ago
i have to agree with ROCD post. we HAVE TO MOVE ON. i just retired and am now making lots of new friends, family, etc... it took me years and years of therapy to get over my daughter!!! because she did what she did to me i don't know if i would ever act or feel the same towards her any longer. i dont' know what i would do if she walked through the door because it's been soooo many yrs!!! and the hurt went soooo deep!!! But i have no other choice but to move on. i have neurological problems and can't take any stress so therefore i HAVE to put her out of my mind. so moving forward is the right idea. keeping busy is key, trying to socialize with couples w/o children always helps!! i do know that the loss is completely hers!! we were wonderful parents!! you could not have better if you asked the Lord above. i mentored teens who have nothing!! that helped. i had a girl whose mother allowed her boyfriend to rape the teenage girl and never protected her and of course that girl would still like a relationship with her mother!! so try to figure it out??? it's impossible!! i don't even like to talk about her anymore. why i started this group is for those who might be starting to go through it. but i'm at the end of it. it's been way too many yrs now that we're estranged. i'm 55 , she's 31 and we haven't had a real relationship since she left for college at age 20. that's 11 years of heartbreak. it's over. i'm done. i'm moving on. i did my best (to parent) and protected her from everything, taught her right from wrong, instilled morals, values, led her to a higher education, etc.. and this is what i got in the end. i wont' do this to myself any longer!!! i will not torture myself over it anymore. i KNOW i was a good mother. that is why there are no longer any photos of her around. i dont' want to see them any longer. not after what she has done to us!! what the lesson is i don't know.?? if anyone knows that, please share with us!! sunsetgal28
I am sending love from my heart to my baby each time I think of her now. I wish her love and kindness from others. It helps me to do this rather than cry for myself.
