I am single but when I date a divorced woman I wish sometimes I could hear her ex husband's side of what went wrong. Of course the woman would only say all the bad things that led her to get rid of him but I worry about the hidden things that are not divulged. It is like being a detective trying to unearth the problems to see what I am in for if I have a relationship with the woman. Have you in your dating experience dated someone and then had a ah ha moment where you realized so that is why they left you? I sure have met some ladies that the "ah ha" was a big one....
no, the one your thinking of was close.. but seemed to center on the MEN'S faults... and them hiding them and stuff... this is about the woman.... doing the same exact thing... equal opportunity....
I am all for equal time, but the other thread I thought did a good job of staying away from gender bias, they tried to talk in general terms. I'm just saying...
And hearing about someone from there ex is not always the best source for unbiased information, the same as it isn't very smart to take the info gathered from a date as gospel. Of course you talk about it, but it needs to be heard with a filter. Light of Day was right, best to get to know the person and make the judgement.
Everybody has a "dark side" and we all bring our life's baggage with us to the next relationship. I get suspicious of anyone, man or woman, that puts blame and all the fault at their x-partner's feet for the failure of the relationship. I get tired of listening to women male bashing, and men who lie about their marital status because they are bored and the wife quit putting out so they want some action on the side. You don't have to have an X in the background to show your colors. It's tough to not wonder if you aren't in some manner participating in a repeat pattern of behavior for them or yourself.
People raw from divorce aren't always fun to be around. They/we have a tendency to want to blame everything on the X because we don't want to take responsibility for our own actions and for most of us, when we entered into that marriage we thought we loved that person, divorce is the final death of that long ago love. Some folks just can't seem to get a grip on their own participation, which tells me they probably wouldn't take responsibility in other ares either.
Everybody has a "dark side" and we all bring our life's baggage with us to the next relationship. I get suspicious of anyone, man or woman, that puts blame and all the fault at their x-partner's feet for the failure of the relationship. I get tired of listening to women male bashing, and men who lie about their marital status because they are bored and the wife quit putting out so they want some action on the side. You don't have to have an X in the background to show your colors. It's tough to not wonder if you aren't in some manner participating in a repeat pattern of behavior for them or yourself.
People raw from divorce aren't always fun to be around. They/we have a tendency to want to blame everything on the X because we don't want to take responsibility for our own actions and for most of us, when we entered into that marriage we thought we loved that person, divorce is the final death of that long ago love. Some folks just can't seem to get a grip on their own participation, which tells me they probably wouldn't take responsibility in other ares either.
This group generally gives equal time to all sides of things, although members don't always agree. I am not interested in male bashing or female bashing. I think you're stirring the pot for no good reason, and I don't necessarily think what was wrong in someone's previous relationship is necessarity going to apply in a new one. Many times, it's due to circumstances and not to personalities.
stirring the pot???? no, just saying this happens with women....... also.....and, yes, saying it loudly... but not in a degrading, or finger pointing way....just my own experience... also.....
personally, I would rather enjoy my solitude than go out with guys who want to talk about their previous relationships. It is such a bore and we all have had our heartaches..life is too short to go on about it. If I find a man interesting and he, me,then we should be able to find millions of more interesting topics than our ex's. It's a matter of growth and I certainly have met people of both genders who remain stuck as well as those who have chosen to grow and continue to do so. In the words of EmmyLou Harris "I don't wanna hear a sad story, we both already know how it goes...."
I'm baaack for a minute. Hi, everyone I haven't met. Carry ON!
I enjoy hearing from an ex. It almost always turns out what they complained about, I find endearing. Usually they complain about the hobbies and things that stole time from them. I won't hang with anyone who doesn't have a passion about SOMEthing. I don't care what. Otherwise, I will find them boring or too couch bound for me.
Maybe compatibility has more to do with what we like to DO, than anything else. We can't have sex ALL the time... well, I can't.
So, any sexy fellows want to come over to my place and tattoo some goats? ^_^
ok, and actualy.. my true thoughts on this.. I would not ask an ex, because it would have no bearing on how "we" would act... I do not know about any of you, male, femail, confused.. but for me, I find I act diffrently with diffrtent folks.. and, no, not an act... I am a VERY upbeat person.. and when I am with another up beat person it seems we both go more in that direction.. if the person is constanly "down" it can tend to make me down, or, ok, want to get away... cause I know I can't "fix" folks.. so, I am sure I don't "act" the same way with every woman... now, my faults... yep, they stay right there with me... but don't have to come out with everyone..
