Offensive Compliments
I FOUND THIS SITE AND THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE IT WITH MY MEMEBERS
HOPE YOU FIND SOMETHING THAT INTEREST YOU ALSO
HERE'S THE LINK
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Apparently the insulting compliments keep on coming, and DiversityInc's readers continue to share their worst with us. Today's winner in the "You're so articulate" category is "You sound like a real professional person over the phone." Then there was the coworker who attributed a biracial man's intelligence to his Asian half. Read on to find out what other backhanded praise our readers have experienced--and if you have some of your own offensive compliments to share, click here and tell us!
Well, this is really a "compliment" given to a friend of mine but it's real gem; it insults two groups at once. My is friend African American and Korean. One day at work at a prestigous Midwestern University he was helping a co-worker with a computer problem. After saving the day the co-worker asked him just what race he was anyway. When he divulged that he was half Asian the co-worker said 'oh, so THAT'S why you're so smart!'
I am a Latina immigrant married to a Latino immigrant.
I was a substitute teacher in CT, when a colleague asked me about my plans to get a CT Teacher certificate. I told her I already had two masters and also shared my academic plans for the future. My colleague replied, 'WOW! YOU ARE AMBITIOUS! ARE YOU MARRIED TO AN AMERICAN?'
The most offensive compliment I've received is when I was taking the SAT, the proctor said, 'I bet you're going to do really well on the Math section since you're Asian.'
Being a black man working in a corporate environment, I spend a lot of time on the phone with colleagues. When they meet me in person, I usually hear things like: 'I would never have guessed that you look like you do' or 'You sound like a real professional person over the phone.' It's as if speaking and conducting myself professionally over the phone is an oddity for a black person.
I wasn't on the receiving end of this one, but a previous boss of mine (a Chinese-American woman with an 'American' first and last name) was: 'You don't look like the person I was expecting.' My boss handled it well, though; I imagine by that point in her career, she was used to that sort of thing.
'You don't look like the type that would be married to a black guy.' What they mean is, I look like a classy white woman who white men would be attracted to, so why would I be with a black man? Definitely offensive.
"Is that your hair?"
"You don't act like most people in your race."
I have had people say to me many times: 'You are so pretty to be black' or 'You are pretty to be so dark.' This is the ultimate insult, that says to me I and others with dark skin are considered ugly. This is very hurtful.
Another comment/situation that I will never forget and I have shared with others, is the time a white female colleague asked if she could borrow one of my African costumes for an international day her church was having. I was totally insulted because she was calling my African clothing a costume (like a Halloween costume!). Because whites don't usually connect themselves to an ethnic group they have no concept of others who want to celebrate and embrace their heritage or ethnic background. Thanks for allowing me to share!"
'You don't [look/act/sound] blind.' I have no idea what that means. Am I supposed to walk around singing "Superstition" or "Georgia on my Mind" or something?
A colleague in a meeting was trying to compliment my hair style and said, "You have Asian hair!" Since I'm African-American, I don't know whether this comment or "You sound Caucasian over the phone." has offended me more.
You know, you don't sound like a black person - you sound much smarter.
HOPE YOU FIND SOMETHING THAT INTEREST YOU ALSO
HERE'S THE LINK
view link
Apparently the insulting compliments keep on coming, and DiversityInc's readers continue to share their worst with us. Today's winner in the "You're so articulate" category is "You sound like a real professional person over the phone." Then there was the coworker who attributed a biracial man's intelligence to his Asian half. Read on to find out what other backhanded praise our readers have experienced--and if you have some of your own offensive compliments to share, click here and tell us!
Well, this is really a "compliment" given to a friend of mine but it's real gem; it insults two groups at once. My is friend African American and Korean. One day at work at a prestigous Midwestern University he was helping a co-worker with a computer problem. After saving the day the co-worker asked him just what race he was anyway. When he divulged that he was half Asian the co-worker said 'oh, so THAT'S why you're so smart!'
I am a Latina immigrant married to a Latino immigrant.
I was a substitute teacher in CT, when a colleague asked me about my plans to get a CT Teacher certificate. I told her I already had two masters and also shared my academic plans for the future. My colleague replied, 'WOW! YOU ARE AMBITIOUS! ARE YOU MARRIED TO AN AMERICAN?'
The most offensive compliment I've received is when I was taking the SAT, the proctor said, 'I bet you're going to do really well on the Math section since you're Asian.'
Being a black man working in a corporate environment, I spend a lot of time on the phone with colleagues. When they meet me in person, I usually hear things like: 'I would never have guessed that you look like you do' or 'You sound like a real professional person over the phone.' It's as if speaking and conducting myself professionally over the phone is an oddity for a black person.
I wasn't on the receiving end of this one, but a previous boss of mine (a Chinese-American woman with an 'American' first and last name) was: 'You don't look like the person I was expecting.' My boss handled it well, though; I imagine by that point in her career, she was used to that sort of thing.
'You don't look like the type that would be married to a black guy.' What they mean is, I look like a classy white woman who white men would be attracted to, so why would I be with a black man? Definitely offensive.
"Is that your hair?"
"You don't act like most people in your race."
I have had people say to me many times: 'You are so pretty to be black' or 'You are pretty to be so dark.' This is the ultimate insult, that says to me I and others with dark skin are considered ugly. This is very hurtful.
Another comment/situation that I will never forget and I have shared with others, is the time a white female colleague asked if she could borrow one of my African costumes for an international day her church was having. I was totally insulted because she was calling my African clothing a costume (like a Halloween costume!). Because whites don't usually connect themselves to an ethnic group they have no concept of others who want to celebrate and embrace their heritage or ethnic background. Thanks for allowing me to share!"
'You don't [look/act/sound] blind.' I have no idea what that means. Am I supposed to walk around singing "Superstition" or "Georgia on my Mind" or something?
A colleague in a meeting was trying to compliment my hair style and said, "You have Asian hair!" Since I'm African-American, I don't know whether this comment or "You sound Caucasian over the phone." has offended me more.
You know, you don't sound like a black person - you sound much smarter.
