young & confused ... offer some guidence?
Throughout my life thus far i have experienced few experiences which i would call psychic, but the few that i have had, have been overwhelming and extrodinary. First i would like to say, I do not meditate and i am unable to or untrained to tap into my ability on command. There have been a few significant events in my life leading me to writing this very blog. I will explain those events now....
Age 6: While laying in my childhood bed, concentrating on the sound of the distant train while trying to go to sleep, a presence came about at first i could only feel it and then it manifested itself into what i determined was an old man. Generally i would have been afraid (i was afraid of monsters under my bed and in the closet worse than any kid i knew)... but i wasn't. I remember smiling and feeling protected while going to sleep. Sometime a few days later while playing, i was singing a song to a doll i owned. My Mother asked me where i had heard the song, and i didn't know. The song was what her father use to sing to her as a child... but her father had passed before i was born. I believe that its possible that i encountered the spirit of my grandfather.
Age 7: Again while laying in my childhood bed, i got an overall uneasy gut feeling that something was wrong. My stepdad who was trying to calm me down, kept asking me what was wrong. i was hysterical and i repeated something bad in going to happen.. and he would ask whats going to happen? I said I don't know the house is going to burn down or something... just something bad is going to happen. The following morning, we would wake to discovry my mother in a terrible condition leading to the hospital where we foudn she had a brain aneursym, she was in a coma for 6 months following, and has complete loss of short term memory.
Age 11: I developed an obsession of praying, feeling that if i didn't pray often enough everyone i cared about would die.
Age 12: my grandma dies, and uncle two weeks following... I had prayed, I stopped believing in God at this point in my life (these maybe insignificant?)
Age 20: Friends and I were at a party recently, when my best guy friend recieves a phone call informing of the tragic suicidal overdose of this rugby captain. him and another friend of the guy who passed ( i didn't know him) became hysterical in tears, in a bedroom of a house party decided they would drink in his honor ( i think the mindset was thats what he would have wanted?). His friend soon became biligerent and even more hysterical. I was in the room just holding my friend feeling terrible. My guy friend and I had to carry his friend down the road to their house where he imediately fell asleep. Once his friend was asleep My best friend felt he didn't have to be the 'strong one' anymore and just let it all out. I was holding him while he cried, after about 10 mins i felt like i was being punched just above my belly button, and i felt overwhelmed by the emotions my friend was feeling. I looked down at my friend and watched as he fell asleep, i started crying, and laid his hea don the bed covered him up and left. The feeling did not leave me until i stopped physically touching my friend.
...... allmost the end, i promise.
My brother-in-law has some sort of pshysic abilities i'm not exactly sure what kind, but when i told him this story he told me i had temporarily misplaced his pain andd that is why he fell asleep. He was actually quite excitied to hear about it because he had been urging me to explore my purpose as he calls it for two years before. Anyways what this all comes down to is that My brother-in-law told me that he believes i have potential abilities to be a healer, and has urgered me to explore myself to figure it out. I don't know if I'm a healer or if those experiences where of psychic relevence, and if i am supposed to explore myself i don't know how or where. The only time these things have come about has been in time of emotional distress, and i'm unwiling to put myself trhough something like that just to see if i have an ability? I'm just confused ... it probably doesn't help that i'm 20 so im just generally confused about life.
Age 6: While laying in my childhood bed, concentrating on the sound of the distant train while trying to go to sleep, a presence came about at first i could only feel it and then it manifested itself into what i determined was an old man. Generally i would have been afraid (i was afraid of monsters under my bed and in the closet worse than any kid i knew)... but i wasn't. I remember smiling and feeling protected while going to sleep. Sometime a few days later while playing, i was singing a song to a doll i owned. My Mother asked me where i had heard the song, and i didn't know. The song was what her father use to sing to her as a child... but her father had passed before i was born. I believe that its possible that i encountered the spirit of my grandfather.
Age 7: Again while laying in my childhood bed, i got an overall uneasy gut feeling that something was wrong. My stepdad who was trying to calm me down, kept asking me what was wrong. i was hysterical and i repeated something bad in going to happen.. and he would ask whats going to happen? I said I don't know the house is going to burn down or something... just something bad is going to happen. The following morning, we would wake to discovry my mother in a terrible condition leading to the hospital where we foudn she had a brain aneursym, she was in a coma for 6 months following, and has complete loss of short term memory.
Age 11: I developed an obsession of praying, feeling that if i didn't pray often enough everyone i cared about would die.
Age 12: my grandma dies, and uncle two weeks following... I had prayed, I stopped believing in God at this point in my life (these maybe insignificant?)
Age 20: Friends and I were at a party recently, when my best guy friend recieves a phone call informing of the tragic suicidal overdose of this rugby captain. him and another friend of the guy who passed ( i didn't know him) became hysterical in tears, in a bedroom of a house party decided they would drink in his honor ( i think the mindset was thats what he would have wanted?). His friend soon became biligerent and even more hysterical. I was in the room just holding my friend feeling terrible. My guy friend and I had to carry his friend down the road to their house where he imediately fell asleep. Once his friend was asleep My best friend felt he didn't have to be the 'strong one' anymore and just let it all out. I was holding him while he cried, after about 10 mins i felt like i was being punched just above my belly button, and i felt overwhelmed by the emotions my friend was feeling. I looked down at my friend and watched as he fell asleep, i started crying, and laid his hea don the bed covered him up and left. The feeling did not leave me until i stopped physically touching my friend.
...... allmost the end, i promise.
My brother-in-law has some sort of pshysic abilities i'm not exactly sure what kind, but when i told him this story he told me i had temporarily misplaced his pain andd that is why he fell asleep. He was actually quite excitied to hear about it because he had been urging me to explore my purpose as he calls it for two years before. Anyways what this all comes down to is that My brother-in-law told me that he believes i have potential abilities to be a healer, and has urgered me to explore myself to figure it out. I don't know if I'm a healer or if those experiences where of psychic relevence, and if i am supposed to explore myself i don't know how or where. The only time these things have come about has been in time of emotional distress, and i'm unwiling to put myself trhough something like that just to see if i have an ability? I'm just confused ... it probably doesn't help that i'm 20 so im just generally confused about life.
