If you had a second chance
..to revisit and old relationship, would you?
See first reply for the reason that I ask.
See first reply for the reason that I ask.
It depends how it ended, but my first inclination is to say yes
Ed
Ed
3 months ago
May be fun if I could do it knowing what I know now..... moto
3 months ago
I met someone back in 2003, that zinged me in the heart almost instantly and I fell hard for. The problem was, he had substance abuse issues and two distinct personalities, Jekyl.. and Hyde...
It was an emotionally difficult relationship to sustain and like holding a tiger by the whiskers in many ways. I couldn't let go, but I didn't have much to hold onto either. After three years, I met with a counselor for him and got my own counseling instead. I set boundaries and poof.. he was gone.
It took me a long time and a 5 month stint in an unconditional love group to be able to let go. I also moved out of state and completely started my life over. It's been more than three years since I last saw him. I have never forgotten him, but I've had no interest in meeting anyone else either. About 6 months ago, he contacted me and we've maintained a friendship between us by email and telephone. Never speaking about love or of the past.. just our lives as they are now. He hasn't been dating, but he has been clean for more than 2 years. I am very proud of him.
He has asked if I would ever return to Arizona (no, I don't think so), but he never said anything about why. I encouraged him to get out and socialize and he went quiet on me. So I wrote him a short letter and told him how I felt in my heart. That the only time he had said he loved me, he was inebriated and making love to me so that didn't count.. that I knew he never felt the same way toward me, but it was okay. I would always love him and wanted him to find a woman he was nuts about that would love and cherish him just as much. I had let go.
Well, sonofabitch.. I got a phone call this morning and it was him. I said hello... and he said.. "I love you.. I always have and I always will." I was speechless (for a change). I was stuttering all over the place, he was laughing and said he still had some personal issues from the past to clear up, but he was going to fly up to Juneau and stay for a visit..for maybe 10 years or more.
Is it possible? That is what I want to know. There's a song about how "Men Don't Change". I don't want to think about changing anyone, anyway. But could it happen? Have you known it to happen? My heart can't take another blow like that again. I am concerned my emotions will overrule common sense.. I told him I did not want to see him just yet, but I really do not know what to do. Any suggestions?
It was an emotionally difficult relationship to sustain and like holding a tiger by the whiskers in many ways. I couldn't let go, but I didn't have much to hold onto either. After three years, I met with a counselor for him and got my own counseling instead. I set boundaries and poof.. he was gone.
It took me a long time and a 5 month stint in an unconditional love group to be able to let go. I also moved out of state and completely started my life over. It's been more than three years since I last saw him. I have never forgotten him, but I've had no interest in meeting anyone else either. About 6 months ago, he contacted me and we've maintained a friendship between us by email and telephone. Never speaking about love or of the past.. just our lives as they are now. He hasn't been dating, but he has been clean for more than 2 years. I am very proud of him.
He has asked if I would ever return to Arizona (no, I don't think so), but he never said anything about why. I encouraged him to get out and socialize and he went quiet on me. So I wrote him a short letter and told him how I felt in my heart. That the only time he had said he loved me, he was inebriated and making love to me so that didn't count.. that I knew he never felt the same way toward me, but it was okay. I would always love him and wanted him to find a woman he was nuts about that would love and cherish him just as much. I had let go.
Well, sonofabitch.. I got a phone call this morning and it was him. I said hello... and he said.. "I love you.. I always have and I always will." I was speechless (for a change). I was stuttering all over the place, he was laughing and said he still had some personal issues from the past to clear up, but he was going to fly up to Juneau and stay for a visit..for maybe 10 years or more.
Is it possible? That is what I want to know. There's a song about how "Men Don't Change". I don't want to think about changing anyone, anyway. But could it happen? Have you known it to happen? My heart can't take another blow like that again. I am concerned my emotions will overrule common sense.. I told him I did not want to see him just yet, but I really do not know what to do. Any suggestions?
3 months ago
I had a chance, I took it. It all worked out the way it was supposed to. I'm so grateful I had the opportunity. It's much better than not knowing.
3 months ago
Men do grow and mature and obviously he did it for the better and not the worse. Let him visit you - maybe just like you would any other friend and see. You may miss a great chance at happiness if you don't. You Need to Know.
3 months ago
Well, Ed and Moto said go for it, without even reading the story.
Lyn.. I used to have a motto that I'd try anything once and if I liked it, I'd go back for more. I've always wanted the guy who will part the crowd, break down the door and say "dammit woman..you are mine!"
Also, I've been told I am intimidating to a lot of guys because I take risks and am not afraid of much (other than another broken heart :-). So a guy who is able to make me feel all wiggly jiggly and stutter...he's either planning to beat the crap out of me (or try).. or he's so self confident he isn't afraid of a smart woman as a partner.
Lyn.. I used to have a motto that I'd try anything once and if I liked it, I'd go back for more. I've always wanted the guy who will part the crowd, break down the door and say "dammit woman..you are mine!"
Also, I've been told I am intimidating to a lot of guys because I take risks and am not afraid of much (other than another broken heart :-). So a guy who is able to make me feel all wiggly jiggly and stutter...he's either planning to beat the crap out of me (or try).. or he's so self confident he isn't afraid of a smart woman as a partner.
3 months ago
I have been trying to track down a man that I knew in San Antonio, TX, in 1976, the last time I heard from him he was in N. Yemen, and sending me all kinds of things, then he just disappeared, hope nothing terrible happened to him, I just want to find out if he's ok or not, we were friends for over 10 years during 3 marriages, but now I can't find him, even posted a notice in the newspaper in San Antone, but nothing, any more suggestions. CC
3 months ago
The only two times I've ever tried taking a man back, it never worked out. You know, if they did the stuff before that caused you to break up, they are going to do it again. Twice is quite enough for me. That's why I say to myself, 'If you screw up once, that's all she wrote.'
3 months ago
Ladyd, all I have to say is, he better be worthy of you. You will make the right decision...you are one smart woman.
3 months ago
ladyd
people can and do change--maybe, just maybe he changed....but do you really want to take a chance just yet--that said, the work "love" plays into this one, so... can you really live without him?? or will you regret it terribly if he is with someone else? then maybe you should reconsider and take him with conditions--conditions that you both will go slow with the relationship and you will have to see the change in him for at least half a year before committing--if he really loves you, he will do this --a very wise person once told me, you have to love your man, warts and all, so maybe he will struggle with this all his life, this may be his "warts"--and you might want to consider that as well--
But personally, if I loved a man that much, I would have trouble giving up on him also, there is always, always the chance that he sincerely changed (glass half full, always) and love covers a multitude of sins, yes? yes.....
people can and do change--maybe, just maybe he changed....but do you really want to take a chance just yet--that said, the work "love" plays into this one, so... can you really live without him?? or will you regret it terribly if he is with someone else? then maybe you should reconsider and take him with conditions--conditions that you both will go slow with the relationship and you will have to see the change in him for at least half a year before committing--if he really loves you, he will do this --a very wise person once told me, you have to love your man, warts and all, so maybe he will struggle with this all his life, this may be his "warts"--and you might want to consider that as well--
But personally, if I loved a man that much, I would have trouble giving up on him also, there is always, always the chance that he sincerely changed (glass half full, always) and love covers a multitude of sins, yes? yes.....
3 months ago
