My sister-in-law died a couple of years ago. The funeral was in the small town where she and my brother lived. As we processed in our cars from the center of town to the cemetery out in the country, all oncoming cars and trucks pulled over to the side of the road and stopped until we had passed. This caught me by surprise because I live in a city and traffic stops for nothing. It was a very touching moment. Someone told me that it's actually a law, but I don't know if that's true or not; if it is, then it's not one that's enforced.
I grew up in a large suburb of Philadelphia. When I was young, funeral processions (cars) had the right of way on the trip from the church or funeral home to the cemetery. The cars drove in a line behind the hearse with their lights on and were allowed to pass through red lights, etc., and other traffic got out of the way. I don't think this is still the case, but most of the funerals I have attended up there in the past 15 years were much smaller where the folks just had pre-planned to have a service at the cemetery. I think they may still do this for very big funerals.
I noticed that some people stopped wearing black to funerals back as early as the 1970s and it always bothered me. Somehow, dark clothing seems appropriate.
I suppose everyone has different traditions. I was shocked that at several funerals I attended a few years ago, adult children who were burying their parents took photographs -- maybe it was an Episcopal tradition, since both dead people were of that faith?
I always thought the Jewish funeral plan (where you bury the dead person pretty quickly and get it over with and then have the days of having people over with food, drink and talk), made more sense than the Christian plan where you wait for a number of days (while you have people over and talk eat and drink, all the while dreading the actual funeral/burial) and then you have the funeral and have to go through all the feelings again.
My plan is to be cremated and that's it....sprinkle me in the Atlantic...and hopefully someone will remember me with good feelings.
Very interesting topic, Espirit. Over my years I have been to every kind of "funeral" you can imagine. This ranges from solemn high masses to a polka mass in central Pennsylvania. Although I tend to embrace the more traditional things from my childhood, this whole subject has eveolved significantly. I guess I would fight for the right of everyone to do their own thing.
Believing so strongly that the spirit leaves the body at death, I lean towards, "Just put me out with the trash on Thursday." OBVIOUSLY my wife and adult children go crazy at that concept. So we take years trying to reach some compromise.....and we're not there yet.
For myself I want cremation and although I do not want a funeral, I have seen how helpful it is for the family to get together and talk. So I can go with that much.
I have told my cousin in England that once I am cremated he can watch for me to come home in the mail, and its his job to sprinkle me over my mum and dads grave. I will no doubt sit around in his garage for years before that happens. Thats the plan anyway........he just better not go first or else.
What a good topic! I was born in Europe and the traditions concerning funerals are still strong in Finland now, as they were in times past! When my father died fifteen years ago and I went back to Finland for his funeral, my sister and I wore black and wore black veils to cover our tearstreaked faces. Months after a loved one dies, the men relatives do still wear a black band around their arm and often the widows wear black couple of months after the death. It is a not acceptable to wear bright colors to a funeral and funerals are very solemn events and very formal with strict religious overtones.
When my husband died last year, he had a military funeral with all the honors that a disabled war hero deserved. The memorial service at our church was dignified and very beautiful with Andy's favorite Mozart music playing softly in the background. Our minister held the service and friends had a chance to speak. The American flag covering the casket and the procession to the National Cemetary was dignified with the hearse leading the procession and the guests following in their cars behind the hearse. All the cars had their lights on in the procession and there were four California Highway Patrol officers on their motorcycles flanking the hearse. When the funeral procession approached, all the traffic stopped till the all the cars in the procession had passed. At the gravesite, there was the gun salute to honor my hero and the commander of the Honor Guard handed me the folded American flag. It was all so beautiful and dignified and a wonderful homage to my soulmate and my military hero!
Send me out with a New Orleans Jazz funeral.......lots of Dixieland music playing.
At last I'll be going Home....all the reason to Celebrate.
Amen....and at the funeral I was at that was the joy of it. Everyone knew we would see her again and she had expressed the desire to "go home" her daughter told her to "Give Jesus a hug from me" .......its a blessing when you have that confidence and I always wonder how terrible it must be to not have that assurance.
Wow I just was driving home yesterday and we have a popular cemetery just down the road from my home. At the major intersection by my house as a funeral was going by a car decided it would not wait and caused a major accident with the last 3 cars of the procession. We cannot count on the upbringing of the youth (the driver was about 20) today and the 30 to 40 something’s could not give a flying crap. What was needed at the intersection was a police presence.
When I was a child I remember that men on the street would take off there hats and women would bow there heads at a passing funeral procession. I don't see that any more today.
