I'm New
I'm new to the group. I know some of you from other groups we are in. Some of you I didn't even know belonged to this group of parents who have lost a child. It is such a personal thing, I sometimes have trouble sharing it with others. Eons has helped me to have an outlet to talk about my son and post poems to him.
I guess I am farther into the process than a lot of you. My son was murdered on September 17, 1997. He was just 22. He was the head chef at a local italian restaurant when a gang of kids, two of whom worked there planned a robbery. My son surprised the boy with the gun and was killed instantly.
I lived the first 10 years in a state of depression and anxiety. I began having terrible migraines. I finally was no longer able to work.
On the 10th anniversary I decided for some reason that this was not the life my son wanted me to lead. His life was cut short and I need to live to make up for that somehow. Anyway I started making changes in my life. I will never ever stop missing him and the pain will never be gone. But since in some way I guess I have accepted it, I feel him closer beside me. I feel that he is finally at peace.
My son was an artist and I began to have a new appreciation for sunsets, wondering if possibly my son had a part in designing some of the beutiful sunsets. I see butterflies as symbols that life goes on and is renewed. Whenever I see a butterfly, I think of my son. If one lands on my shoulder as they do sometimes, I take it as a sign from him that he is still with me.
Anyway that is my story and I thank Leila for inviting me to join you here.
Mary
I guess I am farther into the process than a lot of you. My son was murdered on September 17, 1997. He was just 22. He was the head chef at a local italian restaurant when a gang of kids, two of whom worked there planned a robbery. My son surprised the boy with the gun and was killed instantly.
I lived the first 10 years in a state of depression and anxiety. I began having terrible migraines. I finally was no longer able to work.
On the 10th anniversary I decided for some reason that this was not the life my son wanted me to lead. His life was cut short and I need to live to make up for that somehow. Anyway I started making changes in my life. I will never ever stop missing him and the pain will never be gone. But since in some way I guess I have accepted it, I feel him closer beside me. I feel that he is finally at peace.
My son was an artist and I began to have a new appreciation for sunsets, wondering if possibly my son had a part in designing some of the beutiful sunsets. I see butterflies as symbols that life goes on and is renewed. Whenever I see a butterfly, I think of my son. If one lands on my shoulder as they do sometimes, I take it as a sign from him that he is still with me.
Anyway that is my story and I thank Leila for inviting me to join you here.
Mary
