NEEMER'S LETTER TO GOD.....
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beeper s, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up..
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, my last question...
When I get to heaven can I have my testicles back??
Licks
Neemers
Neemers is very witty . . . I think he needs to have his own Eons account so he can share his thoughts in a Blog! There are so many people who could benefit from such ponderings.
~KK
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Tybee gives this one two paws up, and would also like to know the answer to Neemers' last question...
Sammy thinks that even if he gets his back... it won't do any good... just saying!
As you might imagine this is a very SORE subject everytime Neemers brings this up.....he even growls at me sometimes during the conversation......this last question on his letter was kinda a last ditch attempt at seeing if he can regain his loss.....I do feel sorry for him......just saying.....
SHARKEY
Sharkey- that's because Neemers is a "manly" dog.... for pete's sake.. look at Sammy's picture.... and you'll see why he never even missed them! LOL Don't get me wrong... Sammy is adorable... he even "prances"! :*)
just so Sammy knows......Neemers had a dog try some of that "Brokeback" shit on him once and it literally did not go down well with him at all.......just saying.....
SHARKEY
Tybee, strangely enough, is a manly dog, too. There is nothing frou-frou or prissy about him. He looks smaller than he is in this photo...hey, he tips the scales at 25 lbs. Anyhow, he still fancies himself a ladies' man and I know would welcome the return of his lost equipment. I'm sure he has mixed feelings about me, too. His "loss" was a requirement before he "gained" me. Rescue shelters are like that.
Rat has all of his equipment. Just doesn't know quite know how to maneuver the ummm added attraction. At one time he had his own place on a board answering humans complaints about dogs. He still wants to know why humans bring trees into the house and expect him not to pee on them. Does Neemers have the answer?
5 lbs of terror...
Poor Neemers! He is way too gorgeous to not be used as STUD!...and tell me exactly who was it took Neemers to the vet for the snip snip routine?
I wonder why he growls at you of all people????Hmmmmm....
