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Setting the scene: So, we took the backseat out of the van so we could camp. On the return trip we had pretty much just piled the gear back in but left a spot for the foam mattress topper folded up small so I could have a place to lay down.
We ate breakfast as we were leaving and I had coffee with two refills. Then we stopped for gas and I got a beverage. Now, the small Icee was 89 cents, but the giant 32 ounce Icee was 69 cents so you know which way I went on that decision. We are following our friend on all these “short cut” roads through the mountains. Don’t have a clue where we really are. Friend is driving really fast. We are keeping up and a guy in a truck has joined our speedy little convoy.
Now, the tale of my tail: I suddenly have to pee. Bad! No cell phone signal so we can’t tell our friend to stop and we can’t stop or we’ll lose him. I get in the back of the van, lay down on the mattress and pull down my pants. I squat and wiggle off the mattress, grab a hunk of paper towels, carefully position the now-empty Big Gulp cup and cut loose. The van is going down a twisty road like a rocket ship. I’m precariously balance over the rapidly filling cup. I drank more than 32 ounces! What is going to happen?? I’m saying, “Oh, NOOOO!” Gary is laughing his head off while trying to drive making matters worse. The stream finally stops about an inch short of overflow. So here I was: Stuck in squat position, full cup in hand, trying to keep my balance. There was no discreet way out. Couldn’t use one hand to pull my pants up without spillage or falling over. All I could do was stand up while leaning over to put the lid on the cup. I completed the maneuver, fell over on the mattress and pulled my pants back up. Meanwhile, the truck driver who was following us had backed WAAAAY off! Gary is really laughing now trying to spit out , “You just mooned that truck driver big time!!!” The truck driver stayed way back until he cut off on another road. I probably traumatized him for life.
The moral of the story? Could be don’t drink Big Gulps before a long ride. Could be that it’s better to moon a stranger than wet your pants. I think it’s that if someone perceives that you are going to throw a big cup of pee out your window they will always back off!!! (I didn’t throw it but I now realize how to get people to back off!!)

I Love It !!!!!!

Oh my gosh you have had me rolling. Thanks nana as usual you have such a way with your words and you just had me wanting to read faster. I have however been there about the peeing thing but thank the lord I have not mooned anyone as of yet and thank goodness on that or they would have really thought that there was one huge moon out that night. Thanks for sharing your tale about the tail....Loved it.

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Now why I can't I come up with a hilarious story about my trip. Because I'm not Nana! I could have been caught in the woods with all the furry creatures seeing my bare hiny and I couldn't have told the story as good as you!.. I keep thinking maybe Confucious had a limerick for your story but couldn't find one! I will never be able to drink a big gulp in much the same way again. Thanks for always giving me the giggles~

lollllllll, now that was the funniest thing I have heard all week. I'm with you TB, I will never be able to look at a Big Gulp the same again. Nanatwin YOU ROCK!

what can i say, OMG.

i had a not so funny but similar experience. i delivered newspapers once. i was way up in the mountains, by myself at 4am, and had to pee. so i pulled the jeep over and held the door open, just in case, and squatted next to the jeep.

long story short, that was apparently the first day of hunting season. atleast 15 guys got mooned. and i got outta there quick.

Nana, you ma
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de my day.

There is nothing like a good travelling pee story to get us all laughing. But you get ten points for good aim and not spilling. And I would love to hear the truck driver's version of the story!
i think EVERYONE should boom this!!!

Ok, I also have a funny one to tell me it really was not me. My hubby, kids and I were following behind my sister, her hubbyand their 4 kids and my sister had to go and go quick and since we were traveling through the mountains near cherokee, NC the roads were only 2 lanes and no where to stop at all so my sister had to go into a cup and she decided to throw it out the window, only the pee not the cup. Not knowing that her poor young boy of about 9 was looking out the window with it down and you guessed it, smack right in the face. That was almost 40 yrs. ago and yet it is so clear in my mind.

Love these pee stories! Laughter is just what I needed Thanks to ALL! Of course our dear nana can tell a TAIL!!! Too funny!!!!! BOOM!!!!