Tis the season of weddings and the dreadful... BACHELOR OR BACHELORETTE PARTIES.
My personal opinion is that today's Bachelor and Bachelorette parties are going to far and out of control. Bachelors are subjected to ridicule by their buddies if they don't let the stripper(s) go "down" on him. There are parties where all the men get their lollipop "licked". I believe that most women have more self respect and control but after watching some of the videos of these bachelorette parties, I'll have to look at the numbers again.
At a recent wedding, the bride found out that the groom went too far and it was the saddest wedding I've ever been to.
Questions addressed to this group.
How far is too far?
Should the groom or bride confess to their mate?
If not, aren't they starting the marriage with hidden secrets?
Should they confess before or after the wedding or honeymoon?
If there is sex involved I would say "Yes" because you don't want the marriage to include dirty secrets especially since the bride-to-be probably already suspects dirty stuff! And the bridegroom? He would explode!!!!
Yes they are! And a terrible way to start!
Before!
Yes, but if he/she doesn't go through with the marriage I wouldn't blame him/her if they call it quits.
I agree with ED, if there is sex then it has gone too far. I personally would cancel the wedding and the relationship would end there. If your bachelor/bachelorette guests can intimidate you into doing something unappropriate then certainly anyone can convince you to do something in the future. The trust would be gone and without trust there is no future. Personally I have not heard of anyone having this type of party.
I have never participated in any such type Parties or affairs, but I believe it is proper for either male or female to do whatever they deem fit in life without confessing to anyone but their Priests about their misbehaving at such Parties.
I joined private threesomes (2 males- one woman or 2 women and 1 male) many times in my life and never told my Ex-Wife about it.
How far is too far? Any sexual act is TOO FAR. These events were once like a last night out with the boys/girls and not much else. Yeah, strippers etc, but at my b/party, I was home by midnight and the guys got home after 7am! They had the fun I got the hangover... As I say " I may look at the menu, but I don't order/eat from it"!
Should the groom or bride confess to their mate? If you have nothing to hide, then nothing to fear.
If not, aren't they starting the marriage with hidden secrets? This is a very BAD start... One lie needs 10 more to cover it...
It is getting very ridiculous! It used to be just a good time with the buddies but now it is sex included. What a most terrible way to start your marriage. I do not like those kind of parties. In the first place you as a groom or bride to be should place your boundaries on your friends that mean well. If you have clean fun, what is there to confess. Start of your marriage clean and you will have a successful relationship. You should never confess your past mistakes, the past is the past. Why bring it in to a new relationship.If I make a mistake no matter how small it is I go straight to God and God knows how to keep secrets, your friends no matter how good of friends they may be,they will eventually spill the beans!
Thank you gals/guys for your opinions on this "touchy" subject. Chica I agree with you completely and yes I've been to a few bachelorette parties that have turned out of control. A few years before my mom died (she was in her early 80s), we took her to my nieces bachelorette party. We told her they'd be strippers there and she was OK with it. However, when they started to perform, my mom called me over and told me to tell the strippers if any of them came near her and put their "huevos" in her face, that she was going to kick them real hard. Then she said this to me, "A tu Papa no le gusta que nadie me ponga los huevos en la cara" TRANSLATION: "Your father doesn't like for any man to put his balls in my face!". Well that certainly was the joke of the night for all of us and I can't tell you how much we laughed that night. Then I warned the strippers and told them don't go near that big lady over there unless you want to leave here without your jewels.
As for Mr. Ortiz and his 2 cents. All I will say is that I'm sure you continue to shock some of the people in this group with your lifestyle but you are truly one of the most perverse and obstinate men I have ever seen! A question came to mind when you talked about the many menage a trois you've had in your life that you've kept from your wife. Given who you are and the fact that you do not believe in having intelligent conversations with women, do you think your wife doesn't know about this? Do you think that she has not done things that she's kept from you as well? I don't know her and will not judge her but if you were to take time out to have intelligent conversations with women, you will learn that we have a sharp and intuitive mind, and a great deal of intelligence to figure things out on our own.
You are 100% correct. I have been a bad boy all my life when it comes to women.
My Ex-wife was aware of my failings in duties as a good husband, but I never really cared. I live with her for the past 50 years, although she divorced me after 20 years of marriage, and we both have no complaints.
I was a good father and a great grandfather - what else is there in life.
I agree that Women are far more intelligent than men (who are for the most part very immature), but I do not need that from women. For me life has been a hit and run situation.
As long as I had my work nothing else mattered.
I confess to my Priest every week (same dude each time) all my sins and thus I am reborn each week. I do not go to Communion as I will leave that for my death-bed.
If you do not want my opinion on any of your postings, then Please say so & I will comply.
To me, its always a breath of fresh air to read your posts as you always offer the "other side" or as some may call it the "dark side" of male/female relationship issues. Although many, including me at times, may not see eye to eye with your values, morals, beliefs, etc. you've always been frank, open, polite and rigid about what you believe in.
We are all entitled to our opinions and if we say this is an open forum, then we all have the right to express our opinions and beliefs as long as we all agree to "respectfully" disagree.
It is up to you to decide whether or not you should continue to post. If we ever feel that what your postings are completely out of line, then I'm sure you will hear from us. In the meantime, have a wonderful day
I certainly hope we don't get to the point where we are censoring posts in this group, while there have been some things that I have disagreed with and, believe it or not, some things that I have found offensive, we are all adults here and have all been around the block more than a few times and can choose what we want to read or not read. Addressing the original post, I agree with Qvo that trust is of the utmost importance, and that is the reason I am no longer married to my ex-wife, I couldn't and didn't trust her, she gave me many reasons not to.
