Eons: View message "Bullies " in Freedom Matters Group

Message 901 of 991

Bullies

I just posted this in Freedom of speech.....I know we really dont need this in here as we have a good group of people and it was one of the reasons this group was started but I think that its a good topic to bring up and what follows is what I posted (so I dont have to repeat it) your thoughts and ideas are requested.
janice

Another good person has left Eons because ...
Another good person has left Eons because of bullies. What gives anyone the right to think they can do that to people. Why do certain types of people enjoy making others miserable. Laughing Spirits from Essential differences was trying to do a good thing. I did not change my avatar but believe she had hoped to make a difference. All she got was ridicule and people PM her with spiteful messages to the point that she left. After Nimbus left this makes me really angry. We have our share in this group who take pleasure in baiting people and they know who they are. They should be ashamed of themselves. What is it about the people who get bullied that bring out the worst in people who are otherwise probably decent intelligent people. Is it the fact that they can not be seen?
When we write stuff on here we need to read it through before we hit POST. Remember people can not see your face and so if you are joking they dont know that, they can not hear your tone. Its OK to not agree. In fact its great that people do not agree, thats how we learn and grow. That does not make the other person an idiot. There are also people on here who may not be as smart as you are, that does not give you the right to put them down. Pick fault with their posts. I will be the first to say here I can not spell worth a darn and I dont care......and you dont need to point it out to me or to anyone else who does not phrase the question quite right. I dont care who you are.....how well educated you are, how smart you are...not everyone is on the same intellectual level as you are. All I see is a mean spirited person who enjoys belittling others. Does it ever occur to these bullies that the person on the other end could be depressed, or have emotional problems. Do you think about what you are doing to them and their lives. Before coming on to EONS I never believed it possible when that young girl killed herself because of bullies. Well I can now at least understand.....should these bullies be held responcible for their actions (in that case) I dont know but I do know we all need to think a bit more before we pick on someone else.
So.....after at least two great people have left in as many days...Please people cant we all agree to do better.?
Before anyone responds to this I know its not my place to chastise........Thats not my goal, its just to make us all more aware that there is a problem when people do not think before they hit that post button, there is no edit and so maybe we need to ask EONS to come up with that, it has to be possible.

posted by Espirit

Replies 1 - 10 of 11

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Please remember the body of the previouse post was for Freedom of Speech and refers to that group not ours.

posted by Espirit
6 months ago

I totally agree! When I decide to present a post, I type it out and then re-read it several times to see if it makes sense, flows well, and has some thought behind it. The posts we all write can be and are effected sometimes by mood, hormones, family, and in essence whatever hand life is dealing to us at that time.

I do agree that online anonymity and not having anyone really know me (with the exception of one that does) makes it easier to say whatever I want. This is the danger of the internet, to be whoever we want, to say whatever we want. It is also the intrigue and magic of the internet. I try to take the good with the bad, seperate the posers from the real people, but as I am also influenced by mood and hormones, sometimes I fail. I believe life is all about doing better for ourselves and others, and so shall I hope ... for the bullies and the victims.

posted by Wyndswept
6 months ago

Be careful you'll be next.
All that Eons will tell you... the managers & moderators have the final say/ don'tike it join another group.

This is what they told me.

There should be a ckeck and a balance system like Ebay's feedback system.
If a group had a low feedback for tolerance lets say... less people would join.

posted by wot53
6 months ago

I have been asked to assume the managership of two of the groups involved in this dreadful dispute, and am a Moderator on a third group involved.

Here is my philosophy of life on Eons, if you will:

I believe that managers and moderators need to have a heavy hand in groups that discuss politics, religion, or are open forums for any topic. The opportunity for abuse is ample, and needs to be squashed immediately.

I don't mean deleting posts that simply disagree,and disagree in a strong manner --- I am talking about posts that are name-calling, abusive, or are threats, veiled or otherwise.

This situation that Espirit is talking about started with one post in a private group and escalated into all out war, and it all could have been avoided if the manager had deleted that post the second it appeared.

I know Tripp has a policy of not deleting any posts or comments, or closing topics. But he is fortunate. This group is a wonderful collection of thoughtful, courteous people. But the potential exists. It always does. All you need is one bad apple, or one hot head, and there goes the atmosphere of the group right down the toilet.

I love this group. I love Freedom Matters, and I read every post and every response. And my comments above are just my opinion. Your mileage may vary.

posted by MartiInMexico
6 months ago

Well, folks, I have been on both sides of the aisle. It is all about choice. I don't like the thought of gentle souls suffering at the hands of people who have let their position turn them into little tyrants. We can help folks who are seeking a safe haven on eons, a place to be able to come and talk about anything they want to talk about, if we let them know we are here. I encourage you all to tell everyone you know, and every new comer, that this group is here for them. I have never been back to that other group because it is controlled and freedom of speech cannot be. It is very sad that good people can't speak their piece. Our group allows that to happen and I am glad all of you are here to see it is done with such acceptance.

posted by trippin
6 months ago

Thanks for the post Espirit and the reminder we are all capable of being bullies if we are not careful and mindful especially in this venue when the only part of us represented is our words, thoughts. Wyndswept has a good point about re-reading and checking it all over...sometimes even with that things slip through that shouldn't. An edit button certainly be nice.

I read and observe more than I post because I like to all the divergent points of view, I like to mix them all up and just cogitate if you will and sometimes I find that what I thought I thought about something is not what I really think at all.

The real difference I have found is that it is pretty much SAFE on Freedom Matters to offer a point of view that others disagree with but no one seems to hold anything against the other for the different thinking, no name calling, refreshing. While I am it, it is with red face that I apologize to Brandysunshine for a mean-spirited post I made, at the time I made it, I did not think so but on reading later I felt myself cringe.

posted by Marit0129
6 months ago

I have learned not to take anything on Eons too seriously. I have six groups, check in, usually have aome replies and check out. I might post something about once a week. I spend time on Facebook as well. If something is getting under my skin, I know I'm spending too much time on the machine.

posted by mobaker
6 months ago

Yes this is a good group and it was probably not needed for me to post in here, but as we all have experienced it to one degree or other I felt I should share what I posted "over there" I love this group of people. The trouble is I still like most of the people there as well, and as I said I REFUSE to give up. Thats me...I dont like discord, I like to be friends. I dont like how it makes me feel and react. I can just as easily get into the name calling but I am even more aware now that it is a really bad thing to do because we really do not know who we are talking to. Neither do we know the harm we do. Yes we can always leave a group if we dont get along, we all know that and have done so. STill.......I thought a reminder would not hurt any of us and yet I would hate to think that anyone here would think I was picking on them, because thats not the case. Trip is lucky to be a manager of this group of people and lets all just keep getting along and setting a fine example.

posted by Espirit
6 months ago

SCHOOLS,GOVERNMENT,NOW THE INTERNET WHAT IS NEXTED,WE NEED TO STOP THIS WE ARE GROW UPS RIGHT......

posted by justice4jasmin
6 months ago

I think I responded to a previous post regarding what has been going on in the other group & admitted that I fortunately found this group first & never was involved with the other group...but ...I have enjoyed the people on this group so much that I've begun to care about all of you. your personalities & who you are do come through on your posts & I think we have become friends....that's why I want to contribute my two cents even though I haven't been personally involved as some of you...

What we are fortunate to have here in "freedom matters" is a group of very good debators...we have opinions and as Esprit pointed out, it is a good thing that we don't all agree or our posts would be very boring...but what makes us cohesive & good debators is that we bring informed opinions....we often back up those opinions with basis in fact & thought...we do not rely on emotion & rhetoric....
When someone doesn't have the basis for argument or fact to substantiate their opinion they resort to distractions, like name calling & intimidation...ergo the bully....Bullies are rarely the smartest or bravest of any group....they actually are the most insecure, just hiding behind that loud offensive front, hoping that no one will discover there is nothing behind that cardboard front....remember bullies in school? They often are the least likely to succeed at the class reunion.