Message 541 of 2500

Fathers Rights

OK This is going to tick off alot of people but this pisses me off so much and a family member is going through it right now.
Why is it that a man raises four children for 18 years and his job takes him out of state. The mother has to keep the children. they are separated and due to be divorced in May. The children have lived with the father all their lives but so they dont change schools he had to beg the mother to keep them until June. BEG I TELL YOU. Plus he had to pay her to keep her own children. She has never contributed one dime to support her children. She works as a waitress in a BBQ place and sleeps with every top dick and harry in town married, single or otherwise.
Now she has served him with a child support demand and he has been told that since he makes 1200.00 a week he must give this person who is the mother of the children 800.00 a week. That is pure bull. She has never taken care of her children and was only to have them until June. Now she sees she can get all this money she has filed for custody. The children are livid. They do not want to live with her and the courts are saying the best interest of all children are to be with the mother. That is so old and out dated its nuts. Many men today are single fathers and do an excellent job and my friend is one of them. His children are involved in sporting activities and he never misses one of them. They are in school band, dance classes and music lessons. She has made them stop it all because she cant take time off of her job to take them. She goes to work at 11 am and does not come home until 11 pm unless she goes out after work with friends and then its 3 am. She does not even get up to see the children off to school she does not do their laundry or clean the house they do it all. The oldest turns 18 in july but plans to leave in June anyway and the others are just broken hearted and all are threatening to run away. The 17 yr old girl told the courts she would kill herself if they take her away from her fahter and make her live with this woman and they still did it.
This is so unjust and I hope and pray he can get a good enough lawyer to fight it. Oh she also had the papers served at his brothers house and they let his 15yr old nephew sign for them. She knew his address but gave a fake one so he wouldnt be notified in time to stop it. Also why on earth does the legal system allow a juvenile to sign for anything.
Our ocuntry is going to hell in a handboat without a paddle.
I think there should be a government agency that protects fathers rights instead of undeserving women getting by with all the crookiness they do.
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Replies 1 - 10 of 20
I don't understand why he didn't take the children with him. If the parents were still married and he had to relocate due to his job, wouldn't the entire family move? I wonder why he "begged" the children's mother to keep them until June. If she doesn't care about these children I would not have left them with her.
photo of mabel123

4 months ago
For some reason the court system tends to frown on dads most of the time. I hope he gets a good lawyer. I thought at a certain age the children were allowed to decide who they live with? Of course, that may not be the law in every state. Best of luck to your friend.
photo of Dee2008

4 months ago
I think maybe he should have found a different temporary home for the kids. I see so much of this on the news and in the papers nowadays--parents divorcing and the mom getting the kids because "that's the way it is". It's not fair to the fathers that truly want to keep the kids. I always thought it would be FAIR to ask the kids who they would rather live with, as long as both parents were responsible adults and would give the kids a good home. And if a child is so upset about staying with her mother that she threatens suicide...that should tell the courts something right there. This woman sounds like a real shrew. I hope things work out for your friend, but it doesn't seem likely since the courts usually always side with the mother.
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4 months ago
Mabel brings up some excellent points. I think there is another side to this story. Too bad we can't hear what HER friend has to say.
photo of TurboTed

4 months ago
He didnt take the children because they are involved in school band, the two oldest have boyfriends and girlfriends, they are invovled in several clubs and activitites that are school related.
Her friends would tell you the same thing. Last night when I talked to him he said two of her "friends" willing to testify on his behalf to get custody back and as of yesterday she already called him and wants him to take one of the kids back so I think before it gets back to court she will be ready to give them all back. She has left the marriage 10 times in 19 years and always left the kids with him and did not even visit them. Now that they are going through the divorce she has not even seen the kids since they seperated this time. I know it will work out because I know she does not want the responsibilty of being a parent just the child support that comes with it and if she sees he is going to fight that and she most likely will be paying a lawyer and not getting anything back she will give up Thats her motto. just walk away when things get tough.
photo of KathieV

4 months ago
"Father's Rights" ? No such thing in most states. Even if someone reports her for neglect and child protective services get involved, she'll STILL win; trust me, I know.

She sounds like the sort of "mother" my children had (with the exception of sleeping around, no-one would have her), and both my kids ended up going bad; being disrespectful, self-centered, hateful little monsters, all because the state decided they should live with their mother, despite months of neglect.

Oh, yeah; and I had to take the cops with me on more than one occasion in order to be allowed to visit my kids.

But be one day late paying the "blood money" (a.k.a. child support) and see what happens...

Yeah, "Father's Rights"...
photo of duncang55

4 months ago
You started out by saying this man is a family member then later in your message you referred to him as a friend. I seriously doubt that a 15 year old signed to accept the summons. You say that the reason the children can't move is due to the fact that they are in the school band, families move all the time and children go to new schools, it isn't easy but it is done all the time. As far as the 2 oldest having a boyfriend or girlfriend......these are teenagers and I'm sure they will have many more in their life. I think someone is feeding you more than meets the eye.
photo of mabel123

4 months ago
I think divorce laws are some that change from state to state and seem very arbitrary depending on where you live. I live in MN. My parents were divorced in 1965. I would have been 15 at the time. I remember very clearly being asked by the judge, that presided over the hearing, where I wanted to lived if my parents were divorced. I chose my mother but only because, at the time, I knew very well that
my father was truely incapable of taking care of me and my siblings.
For a time I was a single parent. I was one of a handful of men in the state of MN that gained custody of his child through a divorce proceeding. If I had lived in most other states, that would not have happened. That's what burns my butt about this situation is the arbitariness of it. Men have the ability to be just as caring and parental and nurturing as women. Unfortunately courts and legislators don't seem to think so. What changed in MN is that finally a group of men who had gone through divorce and lost their kids finally banded together to form a sort of grass roots movement. They were able to chnage things.
FishBait
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4 months ago
Something doesn't ring true when one party is "all innocent" and the other is "all guilty" As was said, there are 2 sides to every story and sometimes both of them stink.

photo of marybeth3

4 months ago
There's actually 3 sides to every story: his side - her side and the truth.

Just curious if this were true: >" She works as a waitress in a BBQ place and sleeps with every top dick and harry in town married, single or otherwise "

If the above statement is fact - why didnt he go after her in the Divorce citing " Adultery? "

photo of playing

4 months ago
Replies 1 - 10 of 20