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My life wasn’t full until I met my wife…

Even then, the fullness didn’t arrive until I fully let her into my life and I embraced hers. She showed me the world…literally, as we began years of travel to Europe. She showed me love, as we had and raised our son, Bryan. With the arrival of our granddaughters, her love expanded to include spending her day off each week with the girls, loving them, being a grandma to them.

In October 2006, she had an emergency MRI and was told by the ER doc, “I have bad news”…Terri said “what is it, I can handle it”…”You have a brain tumor, and it’s large”…with those words, our lives changed forever. When she told me, I reacted exactly with the same words she used to the ER doc…’what do we do next’…no denial, no escape, no crying…we both wanted to make the next move to deal with it and beat it.

I am the boy scout type, do gooder and analytical…my mind was already racing with ideas re what I could do to make her life better, easier, safer.

We got stuff, a laptop so she could continue online without going downstairs to the desktop, safety railings so she would be safer going up and down the stairs, getting in and out of bed. I called the county and basically said, ‘what can you do for us’…

I became her caregiver and enjoyed every moment of being with her…we were together constantly until she died…and we are still together, in spirit.

When she died, things were no longer normal…my world was turned upside down and I questioned the reason to live.

I have been online for over 25 years and keep up on new trends…but somehow I missed eons. A newspaper article discussing online social networking cited myspace and the like mentioned another existing site for boomers called eons.com. I took a look, signed up and found a new world. I joined a group called Squeaking by Retirement, posted a few messages, clicked with the owner and was asked to become a moderator. By snooping around, I found Death of a Spouse group…what a godsend…I asked a few questions and found a new home. The world of grieving now had answers from people who were in the same, totally unwanted, circumstances…and we spoke the same language, hurt the same and shared support. Someone liked my approach, my attitude and asked me to be a moderator. This is what saved my life, gave me reason to go on…to help others…what a blessing.

I now have a new ‘normal’ in life, different, not what I had wanted, but doable. My life was full, then was shattered, and is now slowly becoming full as I become a different person.

Living Life to the Fullest
As I begin to write "living life to the fullest" i wonder how can this be me? a girl who grew up the country and lived in a very small town her whole life? but i believe you must live your life to the fullest where you are and where you choose to be.
I was born in a small town into a very large family. there was no moving around in my family. i grew up on a farm. i remember helping milk cows, straining the milk and drinking a hot glass of foamy milk when my grandmother and i would come in from the barn. I got to help churn the butter and put sausage in sacks, chop and pick cotton.
Funeral Home ... i also remember growing up in the funeral home. by the time i had graduated from high school i had been in the funeral home 22 times. Besides uncles and aunts I saw my only grandfather, my only aunt, my only father die But Life Goes On and at 17 i started to live life away from home at college. i was in my first play, i began to date, i got to show the moon rock to the community. It was a good time. At 21 I started to live on my own as a teacher but always in the same small community near the farm. ...
My marriage ... for me this is living life the fullest... as a partner in marriage ... i always prayed for a husband that could love me and love the Lord ... and i couldnt be happier...even now..it amazes me just how much i am blessed.
My Life - I taught school for three years, went to work at the local newspaper for three years and then i had my son at 27... i became a stay at home mom for three years ... When a part time job in a church opened up i got the job and i have been working there for thelast twenty two years. there was travel in the summers where our family went to florida, missouri, ohio and kentucky. but i always loved being at home. MY family lived in a small house in a small community not far from the farm.
for ten years my life was was easy going. i had a sweet little boy. no earth shattering events happened. my family complete. same job same church and friends. AND THEN i found out i was going to be a mom at 37. God has a since of humor and He blessed us with a daughter. from the get go she is her own person and has added the best spices in our lives. she is sugar and spice, plus pepper, hot sauce and honey. she has kept us young. while there is a lot to say for being grandparents in your 50s there is a lot to say for being a mom of a teenager in your 50s.
FAMILY change ... my mom had remarried and her husband of 23 years died. she also had a heart attack and surgery. so without much adoo we sold our house and moved back to the farm.
LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST ON A FARM .... my husband is coping fairly nicely raising a garden on the farm..it is much the way i remember .. the way i love it. mom lives with us and i have become the caregiver ... a new role that you have to learn as you go ..
LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST AS AN ARTIST... yes this is so neat ... i have taken up painting . .. i am a self taught artist. ooh that sounds so good. I am up in the wee early mornings ... i am out in the sun .... i am in the floor ... i am on the couch... i am at church ... i am at friends homes ... PAINTING. No longer do i see green trees but the different shades of greens and textures ... no longer do i pass a barn but i see it . . with boards gone and hay laying at the side; and the sky gleaming shades of yellow, orange,pink blues and whites
LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST .... CONTENT . NO REGRETS. LIVING LIFE on the FARM

Turning 60 a few weeks ago gave me a chance to look back and kind of review life as I know it. Up until I turned 50, my life seemed just like everyone else's around me. I was married, had 2 kids, a great full-time job as a manager, a house, a car, and a bunch of friends.

Then I went on a business trip our of town, gave a presentation, got in the car and headed back to the hotel. A week later my husband was with me as I was released from a big hospital in a strange city. They hadn't figured out what was wrong with me but someting was really wrong.

In and out of hospitals at home for months after, I was eventually diagnosed with a thing called transverse myelitis. An odd and uncommon illness, it finally taught me how to really live.

I had to give up my job and get a wheelchair to get around since I have no stamina. I was at a loss what to do with myself. I had been so driven in all the areas of my life up til then, that coming to an abrupt halt made me crazy!

But I learned that I have don't have to always be pushing for more and more. I don't have to have a successful career to have a great life, and my husband and children are always there for me to lean on. I have come to have the fullest life.

I volunteer meaningfully at a hospital and a library. I have made new friends. I have learned to calm down and to appreciate what's gping on around me. Small successes in life can be as good or better than major triumphs sometimes. I have time to enjoy everything and everyone. I have time to really listen, to really care. I count my blessings every day, and no longer ever look back and wish for my old life. This one is so much better.

Im a work in Progress.
At living my life to the fullest,growing up in the Bible belt of Rural America i did exactly what my mother
and grandmothers before me had done,married young and had
had a family. When your fresh off the farm and green as grass you do what you know. Being a wife and mother had its
rewards but there was also something missing.My husband was controlling and abusive at times and to the dismay of my family i ended our marriage after 17 years,leaving with only the clothes on my back and 3 children in tow scared to death,with no money to live on.
Breaking the pattern of abuse and doing what was expected
was the best thing i ever did and the hardest,i had to grow up quick and learn to stand on my own two feet in order to
become independant i learned i had a reservoir of strength
and desire that was just lying dormant inside me sometimes
working as many as four jobs to survive and feed my kids.
I went back to school in my thirties as a non traditional student,carrying a full time schedule and working a full time job while being a single parent,it was exhausting and exhilerating at the same time and after a couple years of doing that i opened a small business with one hundred dollars in my pocket and a wing and a prayer my little
Tearoom restaurant was a dream come true for me and was
the beginning of a love affair with the food industry that
that is still my livelihood to this day.
My life has been one of firsts and coming in increments
it seems,last year i met someone on line in a group here
at Eons we formed a great friendship that evolved over
several months,he invited me to visit him in Costa Rica
and i accepted i got a passport and took my first ever plane ride to go there in July i loved the country and
the atmosphere and the chemistry that we had,i stayed two weeks and when i boarded that plane to come home i knew my life was changed for ever once again and i look forward to
living life to the fullest once more.

Talk about haveing a "Senior Moment", let me tell you I had a big one! About a year ago a friend and I were sitting around talking about our lives and where we were as we approached the later phase of our life. I expressed to her that I had white Hair and a four-door white Honda, and when I drove down the road I felt like a white q-tip driving a white tennis shoe! We both had ourselves a good laugh. The funny thing was, I wasn't kidding, I felt like my plain ole traditional life was just plain dull and boreing and I felt like an old lady! I started thinking about what it was that I was thinking and feeling, and what I really really wanted to do and where I wanted to be in this upcomeing "Senior" part of my life. I came to the realization that my plain traditional life was just not doing it for me anymore and I desperately wanted something different. I wanted to change careers, and I wanted to escape the Heat and the Humidity and the hurricanes that we had on the Gulf Coast. I wanted to see a change in the seasons, I wanted to go fishing, I wanted to take some fun week-end trips, I no longer looked forward to takeing care of that big ole house and yard, I needed to change some things in my life, before their was no-life to change.

I made a plan, I chose to move to North Alabama as it had all the things I required, it was affordable, lots of jobs, good shopping, tons of outdoor things to do, low Humidity and very distint changes of seasons. Scenery to die for, good fishing and plenty of interesting places, ideal for those week-end trips, and not far from my hometown of 55 years, the place where my children and my grandchildren still live. Yes North Alabama had it all.

I sat down and talked it over with my children and all of them gave me their blessings, they thought it was a wonderful idea. They wished me well.

I closed my business, sold my house and most all the stuff I no longer wanted. I only kept what I really loved. On New Years Day, '08, I grabbed Kitty packed my little Honda and moved to North Alabama. I enrolled in school, got a New Job as a Senior Advisor and have been loveing every minute of it, its beautiful here, I am surrounded by Mountains and lakes and rivers and forrests, and have taken a week-end trip every single week-end I have been here. I am loving my new life!

My Grandkids made my Life the Fullest

Since I had my grandkids, my life has really changed a lot. I do whatever I can for them, spend time with them everyday and I even gave up my part time job, just to watch them so their mommies can go to work and school. There is nothing in this world that I wouldn't do for them. I love every moment of being a grandma.

I remember when my first grandchild was born. It was on Nov. 7, 2001 and it was a girl. She was so beautiful and a tiny little thing. I watched her mother give birth to her and it was the first time that I actually seem a birth. I thought I was going to pass out, lol.

At the time, being a new grandma and all, I decided to take time off of work to help my daughter care for her baby. During the time off, I helped her care for the baby, by changing diapers, with the feedings and bathing. I explained all the do's and do not's of caring for a baby. Those were some of the most precious moments.

My second grandchild was born on Nov. 6, 2006 and it was a boy. Now this is my first boy because I had two girls. Here I was thinking, how different this was going to be because it was a boy and I never took care of one before. I learned that boy's are different then girls.

This is my third grandchild, born on Dec. 30, 2006. Yes both my girls were pregnant at the same time and they had fun being pregnant together. We were told that she was having a boy, so my daughter was so excited because now she would have one of each; a girl and a boy. I gave her a babyshower and informed everyone that it was a boy. Now she goes and have the baby and the doctor said; oh, wow, it's a girl and we say, what do you mean it's a girl. We said that the sono said it was a boy, so now we were really shocked and had all this boy stuff, lol.

So you see, my grandkids made my life the fullest.

Let me see. How an I living my life to the fullest. Well, I keep clost to my friends and family. I write. I read and most of all I dream. Some people won't think that dreaming is living your life at all. But, when you are told at sixteen that you are nothing and who do you think you are for assuming YOU could be a writer?????? Well, I remember the night I went to bed, not crying because that is not something you did in our family,especially in front of other people, and told myself that she (my mother) was right. So, my dreaming stopped that night. I stopped writing. I kept on reading because it was an escape.

It took years of fighting that night to get to the point where I can write something and submit it for others to read. I has been a long road to here.

So. how am I living my life to the fullest? By ignoring the naysayers. Encouraging my children to live their dream, whatever it is. Being a good friend. And, going out at night to look at the stars and thank God that I did not give up.

All of my life, I have always enjoyed challenges and never knew what was coming!!!

My first challenge: Growing up without a mother

My brothers and I were abandoned by our mother and my grand-mother took us all in. I had to live without a mother but my grand-mother was an angel and as I got older I appreciated her even more. She ended up going blind from diabetes when I was 12 and I helped out as much as I could around the house, etc. She kept telling me not to let her blindness interfere with my schooling and to keep my grades up. I had friends but didn’t go out and play much. I wanted to stay near my grand-mother. She passed away when I was in my 20’s and I will never forget her.

Second challenge: Marrying at a young age and having children

I married at 17. How long would it last? I remained married to the same man for 32 years until he passed away. Jim was young when he first had his stroke and then after that his kidneys failed and 3 years later he had a transplant which worked out very well. Unfortunately he passed away from leukemia at the age of 49. It was heartbreaking to watch the man I had loved for so long dwindle away from the cancer. Having my children at a young age was challenging too but I loved it!!! I was 21 with 3 children. I can’t say it was easy or I would be lying, but I did it and I managed without the help of others to raise my children the best that I could. Today I am now the proud grandmother of 5!!!

Third challenge: Having surgery and retiring

Retire? At my age? I had no choice. After having surgery on my spine I had to quit my full time job with the State as a transcriber. I have been on disability pension for a while now. I’m glad it happened this way because little did I know that my husband would be passing away 3 years later and we got to spend more time together. It’s known that things happen for a reason.

Fourth challenge: Finding a part time job

After Jim passed away, paying the bills was hard and I had to find a part-time. I held several but ended up quitting until I found the job I am in now as a Church Secretary. I couldn’t have found a better job and I’m happy.

Fifth challenge: Marrying a man from another country

This was VERY challenging. At 50, just the thought of marrying again scared me but the hardest thing was that I didn’t speak the language that my now husband did!!! I knew I had to learn a his language so to communicate so I taught myself by reading books and listening to cd’s over the computer and TV. I must say that I did very well and sometimes my husband wishes that I never learned it!!!! LOL!!!

Sixth challenge: Coping with my brother’s death and my illnesses

Besides my first husband, my brother was my best friend. We were inseparable. He committed suicide in November of this year and I just can’t seem to get over the shock of it. He was always the strong one, the one always in a good mood. I guess you just never know what is going on inside. I’m not complaining but I now have osteoporosis, scoliosis, stenosis and osteoarthritis in my neck, hip and spine. I will soon be seeing a specialist to see what I can do to relieve some of the pain. Others have it worse. Until later…….I can’t wait to see what challenge’s I will be experiencing in the near future!!!

Jozee