Pain & Loving again
I hit a milestone Saturday night! I went to a friend’s house. Several of us watched 2 movies that were made by her son in which family members participated and they were FUNNY! I haven’t laughed that much in years! We had a snow storm and I drove home through it & messy, iced roads. That was the FIRST time in 2 ½ years…..I WAS NOT AFRAID!!!!!!!!!!! I let go & let God take over. I laughed & conquered a fear!
I still have some things to work through but I know my mind is back about 90% and it feels great! I also know there will be times I will hurt, feel lonely & cry for my husband, and I will be able to stand back on my feet from the aftershock!
Ophth, God always shows me there are those whose burdens are greater. It doesn't lessen the pain, just lightens the severity. Maybe so we show understanding to those with a heavier cross. I am thankful for one thing. Those here knew what it was to love & be loved. Although the pain is that great, knowing this eases it.
Swoopes said "IT IS THE FEAR OF LOVING AGAIN AS WELL AS ONE DID BEFORE". For me, it is the FEAR OF THE PAIN IN LOOSING ONE I LOVE AGAIN. I have yet to learn to eliminate that fear; to allow myself that vulnerability & leave myself open to the possibility of more pain.
As Steve's post said, the one left behind often follows. I almost did and don't know if I have the strength to make it through this again. As in the other fears I seemed to be mastering, this one needs more work.
I am progressing back to life. I now realize I didn't curl up & die, I curled up to mend.
I still have some things to work through but I know my mind is back about 90% and it feels great! I also know there will be times I will hurt, feel lonely & cry for my husband, and I will be able to stand back on my feet from the aftershock!
Ophth, God always shows me there are those whose burdens are greater. It doesn't lessen the pain, just lightens the severity. Maybe so we show understanding to those with a heavier cross. I am thankful for one thing. Those here knew what it was to love & be loved. Although the pain is that great, knowing this eases it.
Swoopes said "IT IS THE FEAR OF LOVING AGAIN AS WELL AS ONE DID BEFORE". For me, it is the FEAR OF THE PAIN IN LOOSING ONE I LOVE AGAIN. I have yet to learn to eliminate that fear; to allow myself that vulnerability & leave myself open to the possibility of more pain.
As Steve's post said, the one left behind often follows. I almost did and don't know if I have the strength to make it through this again. As in the other fears I seemed to be mastering, this one needs more work.
I am progressing back to life. I now realize I didn't curl up & die, I curled up to mend.
