Boomerangs?

Message 20 of 24

Hi there -- just posted on the "invasion of the boomerangs." view link

What are your thoughts? How can parents and children successfully talk about the issues that arise in a boomerang relationship? What’s worked in your family situation? What hasn’t?

posted by BillWindsor

Comment deleted by an Administrator

I found this to be very helpful so I want to pass this along:
..1Step OneHave a frank conversation with your adult child before she moves back in. Discuss what each of your expectations are. If it's helpful, write up an agreement detailing what was discussed. Include how long the arrangement will last.
2Step TwoDiscuss lifestyle rules. If, for example, overnight guests of the opposite sex or midnight visitors ringing the doorbell are unacceptable, make that understood.
3Step ThreeBe mutually respectful of each other's independence and have faith in the good person you raised. Your adult child will make her own decisions about what she'll do and who she'll do it with without asking for your permission. At the same time, you'll want to protect your privacy and independence, too. This may mean getting the sleep you need when you need it, and not getting woken by late calls, cars pulling up, music and so on.
4Step FourCome to an agreement regarding how she will contribute to the household in terms of chores, responsibilities, meal planning, shopping, cooking and cleaning up. Make a laundry schedule so you each have a free machine when you need it.
5Step FiveSet up a financial agreement that works for both of you. Include rent, utilities and food contributions.
6Step SixHave a discussion if your child fails to meet her part of the bargain. She may find the arrangement no longer meets her needs, and decide to end it.