A NEW VICTIM (???) TO BREAST CANCER

Message 18 of 49

Hi, everyone!

I first joined EONS a while ago. But never did I need support more than when I discovered that I had breast cancer and found this support group.

I put (???) after VICTIM, because I don't know if I'm a victim or if this cancer invaded my body for a reason.

Like most stories I have read, it was maybe a little more than a month ago when I found the lump. Now, I have learned that I have Invasive Ductal Cancer, and am scheduled for a Lumpectomy on the 7th of January.

I am having CTs done on New Years' Eve to make sure I don't have cancer anywhere else.

When I was told I had cancer (over the phone), I didn't cry or feel scared; I didn't feel anything. I still don't. I don't know if the diagnosis hasn't hit me yet, or if it's going to hit me when I least expect it. (For example, when my father died, I went into automatic, and didn't shed a tear until my daughter's wedding several months later, and I started bawling.) I do feel like my nerves have nerves. If that makes sense.

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel. My mom, daughter and husband seem to be scared enough for me. I feel like I'm soothing they're worries, instead of the other way around. But, of course, they are giving me they're best support.

I was always assured that I would never have cancer because statistics say unless breast cancer (or any other cancer) hasn't affected my family on my mother's side, and that I had children before 30, started menstration later than my friends, and so on, it probably would never happen. But.... .

Here I am writing about my new upcoming experiences and don't know what I'm supposed to feel or do or act.

I have noticed that messages to this group haven't been posted for some time. I hope there's still one person in this group I can chat with.

Thank you all for reading my message!

Gale

posted by Stormy8281

Hello Gale,
My name is DiAnn. I'm a 17 year breast cancer survivor. I understand what you are feeling, or not feeling. It is sort of sureal, not really happening, a bad dream I'm going to wake up soon. I think your mind builds up a defense and you gather enormous strength from within somewhere. I always felt I needed to be strong for my loved ones and they took it harder. There may come a day when you will react, it may take a while. I just took one day at a time.
4 years ago my cancer metastisized and I'm now in stage IV. It spread to my lungs and bones. That is when I finally cried. They gave me 2 years to live. Just take it one day at a time and don't give in to any predictions. Stay strong and fight, fight, fight!
As far as being a victim, I don't think they really know why. I had no family history and all the statics were the same for me and I was the one blessed with it. I say blessed because it changes you in the respect that you look and life and things and people in a very different way. Never take anything for granted.
I wish you the very best with your upcoming proceedures. Ask questions, do research. The more knowledge you have about things the less surprises there are to come and you have a better understanding of what is happening. I understand that they do the lumpectomy more now than the radical mascectomy, which is what I had and there is so much more advancement today than 17 years ago.
Good Luck and I'll pray for you. DiAnn

posted by azdiann
about 1 year ago

Thanks, DiAnn for replying to my message.

Your comments mean so much to me.

This evening I was reviewing the Breast Cancer Packet they gave me yesterday, and it was the first time I actually felt that I can't go through this. My husband caught me reading what he just read and walked behind me. He put his hands on my shoulder and kissed my head. I started to cry.

I worry mostly for him.

Several years ago, my husband retired, and we moved from Delaware to Western North Carolina. In the first six months here, my husband had a horrible accident. On his way home, he lost control of his car, and went 100 ft. over the side of the mountain. After he was given of 50/50 chance of surviving, he came through with just minor personality changes. He is my miracle. Unfortunately, now, it's his turn to take care of me.

Good luck to you on proving your drs. wrong, and keep going!!!!

You will be in my prayers, also.

Gale

posted by Stormy8281
about 1 year ago

I am a 5 yr. 3rd stage Lung Cancer survivor. The best advice that I can give you is take each day as it coimes, JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP.I got so much from them..The groups are not full of "doom and gloom". I stayed in the group for a long time, First by taking and then by giving.
Keep a positive attitude and keep in touch.

posted by shoeshoe
about 1 year ago

Isn't that what, being together with the one you love, is all about. Sharing each others good times and bad. Caring the load for the other one when necessary. There is where we are so blessed Gale, we have that life partner to share that with and are blessed to have them. I've know some women who had to go through what we do and the other half couldn't handle it and walked out. Now THAT would be hard. You have a wonderful gift in your husband, cherish it. DiAnn

posted by azdiann
about 1 year ago

Somehow all of my message did not come through..I would have never made it without my wonderful caregiver--my husband ..He even came to all the support groups,I lWhen I left the support group he continued to go, hoping to help others the way he helped me.

posted by shoeshoe
about 1 year ago

shoeshoe, What a sweet man you have there for doing that not only for you but for others. He's a keeper! Hope you are doing better now.

posted by azdiann
about 1 year ago

azdiann.. in response to your question--I am fine . In eb. I will be celebrating 6 yrs. as a LUNG CANCER SURVIVOR. YEAH!!!

posted by shoeshoe
about 1 year ago

Any updates on these older messages? Would like to know how folks are doing.

posted by Deece48
10 months ago

I know just what you mean about not feeling anything. I was diagnosed Thanksgiving of '06 and had a double masectomy in july of '07, and I still feel nothing. My oldest daughter and granddaughter are my reasons to go on. My two younger children (21 & 24)love me, I know, but as most people their age they are pretty involved in their own lives right now. My 24 year old daughter is at University of Pittsburgh and working very hard. My son, well maybe it's that he's a boy, I don't know. My husband has a girlfriend he spends about half his weekends with. Just this week I asked him, "What kind of cancer do I have?" and he couldn't even answer. When I am not physically with my daughter and granddaughter I am just waiting to die and wish it would happen already.