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It was the night before Christmas in old Buncleville.
And, not a creature was stirring; not Biff or Peckerhead.
And, I in my undies and Unc in his cap,
Had just settled down for a good winter's nap.
The Fab Five were nestled, all snug in their beds
While visions of the Sugar Shack danced in their heads.
Their panyhose were hung on the mantels with care,
In hopes the SirArthur would soon be there.
Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I stompped to the window to see what was the matter.
I threw back the curtains, and cursed at the site,
Of Homer the Hobo in town for the night.
He was digging thru crap at the Dumpster Dive,
Where's Goon when you need her, Heaven's sakes alive!
So getting dressed in my slippers, and curlers, and robe.
I marched to the NoTel, to get Mim you know.
I said, "Mim you're the one to take care of this trouble",
"Get over to The Dive, get there on the double."
So Mim told the twins, "I'll be back in a sec.",
Then he started off mumbling, "Oh, what the heck".
By the time that he got there, Goon had Homer cornered,
With her trusty K-9 and a gun full of water.
Homer said, "I was just looking for Foto's private stock.
St. Nick flew on by, didn't leave none in my sock."
Right then Goon and Mim began to agree,
Homer was an just a hobo, on a drinking spree.
So, they took him to The Haunt and filled up his cup,
Saying, Merry Christmas from all...especially Mayor Unc.