Message 3777 of 7629

LAUGH ALERT...

If these affect you, anything like they did me, you'll have to put down everything, and be absolutely sure there is nothing in your mouth!

IDIOT SIGHTINGS

IDIOT SIGHTING: Hubby and I had to have the garage door repaired. The
Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not
Have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and
Said that We had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2
Horsepower. He shook His head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4
Horsepower." I responded that 1/2 Was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO,
it's not. Four is larger than two."
We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new
Neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the
Removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many
Deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place
For them to be crossing anymore." From Kingman , KS

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and
Ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal
Lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef?
Yep...From Kansas City !

IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
Airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without
Your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge,
How would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to
Cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged
Coworker Of mine She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I
Explained that it Signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled,
She responded, "What On earth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker:
She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented
Cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another
Word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
Deer-in-the-headlights Stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip
Back into itself, and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand
Why her System would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County
Sheriffs office No less.

IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
Dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in
It. We went To the service department and found a mechanic working
Feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the
Passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered
That it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "Its open!"
His reply, "I know - I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi !

STAY ALERT!
They walk among us, they REPRODUCE and They VOTE!!!

photo of Wisewolf
Replies 1 - 10 of 16
LOL ! Thanks - needed a good laugh this morning !
I think I talked to some of those people at my last job !
They walk among us, they REPRODUCE and They VOTE!!!

scary ! ! !

photo of nanki

10 months ago
Thanks for the fun~
photo of ASRAI

10 months ago
OOPS! Better not mention how I was so excited when my husband bought me a little tool kit. Real tools! I couldn't wait to use them. We bought new drawer pulls for our kitchen cabinents and he told me I could put them on. I worked feverishly on the first drawer, unscrewing the old one with my brand new screwdriver and then replacing it with the new one with my brand new scredwriver. When I shut the drawer to see how the new pull looked, the drawer did not look right. I showed my husband the drawer and told him that it did not look right. He pulled the drawer open with his fingertips and found the new drawer pull screwed to the INSIDE of the drawer! Nope. Won't mention that at all!
photo of LadyEarth

10 months ago
Candidates for Darwin Awards? LOL

10 months ago
Reminds me of when the Republic of Texas Biker's met last year for their yearly rally in Austin. One of my co-workers is a staunch republican (also has tunnel vision). We were sitting around at break, listening to the roars of the Harleys, when Susan commented "Boy, those Republican Bikers are really bringing a lot of money into the local economy!!".

It was very hard to keep from rolling with laughter as I explained to her that the bikers were NOT republicans - that it was the Republic of Texas Bikers rally. I'm not sure I ever convinced her.

Sandra Mc
photo of caradocs

10 months ago
Ha ha, ow, ha ha, ouch!

Too funny!

:-)

ok, breathing normally now,

om-
photo of omthunders

10 months ago
These left me breathless with laughter - but it's the voting part that really frightens me! Thanks again, for these, WW!
photo of itsabeautifulday

10 months ago
This is a riot WW. And LadyEarth, don't worry I won't tell anyone.
photo of 1spirit

10 months ago
I couldn't help but notice several of these were from Kansas. I Lived in Kansas for 26 years and dearly love the people there...but am not too surprised by these examples of simple thinking.

A few years back I was in a SE Kansas hospitalfor several days. I had put on my dietary information that I was sensitive to wheat and needed to avoid it in my diet. Each day I found toast or biscuits on my lunch and dinner trays. Each day I jotted notes to the dietician reminding her that I was unable to tolerate wheat.
Finally in exasperation I asked to see the dietician. When I reapeated my request to not be served wheat she replied. "Well thats why Ive been sending you WHITE bread.. not wheat! "
photo of anyafairlight

10 months ago
Hilarious.

LOL this was funny funny and funny.

I will passthis one on.

con carino
photo of ANGELGIRL10

10 months ago
Replies 1 - 10 of 16