You and I have talked about this a lot. This last bout of illness that I'm recovering from (feel much better, thanks) again forced me to think about what is possible and what is fantasy.
I've started writing out exactly what I want, not the package I think it's going to come in.
For instance, I need reliable help (exactly what I want). I've reconfigured my apartment so I can have a room mate (package). Maybe the reliable help isn't going to come from a room mate but from some outside or different source?
It's so hard separating reality from the fantasy. The truth is, I want a mother, not a room mate! And she'd be, what, 88 years old now? Silly me, if she were still alive, I'd be mothering her.
Look, what we all need is LTC insurance.
"Long Term Care". It's expensive, especially at our age, but if you can afford it, you really should get it. It allows you to be taken care of in your home when the time comes. Also, there are facilities where you dead your home to them and you live in a community that has medical staff on hand etc. The problem is that it does take money and for those of us who have not been diligent, it means relying on loved ones or the state. Not a pretty picture.
I just hope that I go suddenly in my sleep.
One can always hope :0)
posted by Phedre
over 4 years ago
Y'know, I'm not at all sold on the insurance idea. I have homeowners (required by condo association) and car(required by state). And that's it. Why should I pay at least 30% more for services such as medical, dental, long term care, etc. just so some insurance company can benefit? As far as I can see, when the chips are down, they always figure out a way to screw you--pre-existing condition, only hacks not real docs are covered, wind not water damage, etc. The idea that I'd trust these sharks to administer my end game gives me the heeby jeebies. No thanks!
I've also spent time with oldsters in all the varieties of nursing/lifecare/assisted living etc. communities, and I'd rather slit my wrists than end up there.
One has to do their homework when it comes to LTC. The thing is, they gamble that you're going to "shit the bed" before you start collecting. But if you do use it, it protects your assets. And, you can really fine tune some of the policies. I sold LTC for GE a few years ago but could not afford their policies. They were one of the best. GE spun that off to another company, can't remember the name but can get it. AARP has a program also but is not as good, or expensive. The great thing about it is that you get your care at home and you get to choose who your care givers are.
posted by Phedre
over 4 years ago
Now another thing to worry about. A friend of mine died. Her husband ,who appeared to be coping with it well at first,has suddenly lost it. His friends have been trying to help out--getting someone to cook,drive etc,setting up appointments with medical caregivers--but we all have busy lives and he just keeps on deteriorating,neeeding more and more care. We had a meeting last night ,to brainstorm what to do. Was it the time to take him to the hospital? We did come up with a plan,but only because one of us knew the local facilities,and what was available out there. It will cost alot of money--it seems good care always does. Fortunately,he can afford it.This has been crucial to getting him the best care--moral of the story--know what your community offers,and whether you will be able to access it.
Hello there! just joined this group!
Well, I saw this movie with my husband a couple of weeks ago.
I saw the beauty of their love in this movie...especially his for her.
( By the way does anyone know the lovely song by Neil Young, I think! that was playing through this movie?)
Well yes alzheimers..totally disturbing and devastating and yet with what this couple went through there was a glimmer of light and hope that their love would go to yet another level for them both.
I totally saw this movie as a love story.
I sometimes have a notion that people develop alzheimers over years of letting the brain have patterns of DENIAL of their love experiences....does anyone else ever think this?
YOU! SPREAD PEACE AND LOVE AND ENJOY LIFE!
AND NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF LOVE FROM OUR DARLING PETS!
