Question
BulDog: You said in one of your replies that you wonder how your life had been if you had not denied your heritage for so long...Please elaborate what you mean. Thanks.
I am waiting to hear that one too.
11 months ago
OK BOYS AND GIRLS....
HERE'S THE LECTURE OF THE DAY
Please recall that being bi-cultural or bi-lingual has not always been popular. There was a time when you would get your mouth slapped if you spoke Spanish in the classroom. Speaking with a Spanish accent guaranteed you a job in the mail room, not the executive suites. To this day, my uncle, the sole surviving member of my father's family speaks English with no hint of an accent, though I was surprised to hear him speaking Spanish when I visited him this summer in North Carolina. My father was in Los Angeles in 1942 during the Zoot Suit riots, a part of the Blue Lagoon Murder. He saw the impact of racial disharmony and the way Hispanics were being treated. Probably from that experience, he decided to steer a course for his children to minimize their heritage. We were not taught nor encouraged to speak Spanish, though he worked on the railroad and his crew were Mexican. I could never have a conversation with my great-grandmother, who spoke only Spanish. He encouraged us to change our last name to my mother's maiden name to further minimize our heritage. This, we did not do. Realize that this was not to demean us as a person, but to open doors that might not normally be open to us. He himself suffered discrimination. Anglos that he trained were promoted while he was repeatedly passed over for promotion. He vowed that this would not happen to his children and as an active parent, encouraged us to get an education, and not just high school. Every boy in my family has a graduate degree. [The girls do not. Hispanic culture involved there?] Net result, being a hispanic keeps you down. Old story line...If you're white, you're all right. If you're brown, you can hang around. If you're black, you step back. Welcome to the world of the 40's and 50's.
This site is my very first involvement in actually being a Hispanic. In the last several years, I have used my duallity to make the lives of Hispanics easier at my job by insuring that they know their rights as granted in their contract and advising them to know when to pick their battles and when to keep quiet and mark time. Now, for the first time, I am actually engaged in conversations with people who have lived as Hispanics all of their lives. I see them verbalizing concepts that I have believed and touted for most of my life. To care for each other. To care for the elders in your family. Don't be concerned about the almighty dollar. Spend some time with your spouse and with your children. My first wife had a saying she kept repeating to my daughters about their husbands...It's ok. You don't owe them anything. I think it's fair to say that all of my children have veered to my side of the road. They try to teach their children respect and responsibility. They themselves tend to be the rock in their familia. And me???
Talking to you...talking to qvo....talking to chuleta...viewing comments made by Latinos from all cultures and countries, the common thread is the importance of the family. I wonder if teaching my children would have been easier if I'd have had a bit more support. I wonder if my life would have been easier if I would have had more support. I wonder which direction my career would have taken if I had learned to be bi-lingual. I wonder if I would have had to fight the same battles my father fought all of his life for justice...equal pay for equal work. Invitations to a party because they value you as a person, not because they needed someone who knew how to cook. Invitations to join the local social network because of your recognized success in your career field. I have to say that I recognize that for most of my life, my father was right. Hispanics are hired because they work cheap and they will always be grateful because they have a job. Aren't we lucky. Now, however, it is that time in my life in which I choose to tell my father, rest his soul, to stick it. I'm going to have social discourse with others who I want to hang out with. I think by now, I've made as much of an impact on my children as I can and even last week, my eldest grandaughter chided me for her hispanic genes because she doesn't tan evenly...and she did so lovingly. I think that each culture has positive and negative aspects to be viewed and appreciated. I see that being viewed as an Anglo for most of my life has benefited me, or at least not held be back. Even now, I don't know how to answer the question. And even now, I wonder about my outlook on life if I had tipped the scales and been more of a hispanic and less of an anglo. It is, I'm afraid, an unanswered question.
I hope I haven't bored you.
Tom from California
HERE'S THE LECTURE OF THE DAY
Please recall that being bi-cultural or bi-lingual has not always been popular. There was a time when you would get your mouth slapped if you spoke Spanish in the classroom. Speaking with a Spanish accent guaranteed you a job in the mail room, not the executive suites. To this day, my uncle, the sole surviving member of my father's family speaks English with no hint of an accent, though I was surprised to hear him speaking Spanish when I visited him this summer in North Carolina. My father was in Los Angeles in 1942 during the Zoot Suit riots, a part of the Blue Lagoon Murder. He saw the impact of racial disharmony and the way Hispanics were being treated. Probably from that experience, he decided to steer a course for his children to minimize their heritage. We were not taught nor encouraged to speak Spanish, though he worked on the railroad and his crew were Mexican. I could never have a conversation with my great-grandmother, who spoke only Spanish. He encouraged us to change our last name to my mother's maiden name to further minimize our heritage. This, we did not do. Realize that this was not to demean us as a person, but to open doors that might not normally be open to us. He himself suffered discrimination. Anglos that he trained were promoted while he was repeatedly passed over for promotion. He vowed that this would not happen to his children and as an active parent, encouraged us to get an education, and not just high school. Every boy in my family has a graduate degree. [The girls do not. Hispanic culture involved there?] Net result, being a hispanic keeps you down. Old story line...If you're white, you're all right. If you're brown, you can hang around. If you're black, you step back. Welcome to the world of the 40's and 50's.
This site is my very first involvement in actually being a Hispanic. In the last several years, I have used my duallity to make the lives of Hispanics easier at my job by insuring that they know their rights as granted in their contract and advising them to know when to pick their battles and when to keep quiet and mark time. Now, for the first time, I am actually engaged in conversations with people who have lived as Hispanics all of their lives. I see them verbalizing concepts that I have believed and touted for most of my life. To care for each other. To care for the elders in your family. Don't be concerned about the almighty dollar. Spend some time with your spouse and with your children. My first wife had a saying she kept repeating to my daughters about their husbands...It's ok. You don't owe them anything. I think it's fair to say that all of my children have veered to my side of the road. They try to teach their children respect and responsibility. They themselves tend to be the rock in their familia. And me???
Talking to you...talking to qvo....talking to chuleta...viewing comments made by Latinos from all cultures and countries, the common thread is the importance of the family. I wonder if teaching my children would have been easier if I'd have had a bit more support. I wonder if my life would have been easier if I would have had more support. I wonder which direction my career would have taken if I had learned to be bi-lingual. I wonder if I would have had to fight the same battles my father fought all of his life for justice...equal pay for equal work. Invitations to a party because they value you as a person, not because they needed someone who knew how to cook. Invitations to join the local social network because of your recognized success in your career field. I have to say that I recognize that for most of my life, my father was right. Hispanics are hired because they work cheap and they will always be grateful because they have a job. Aren't we lucky. Now, however, it is that time in my life in which I choose to tell my father, rest his soul, to stick it. I'm going to have social discourse with others who I want to hang out with. I think by now, I've made as much of an impact on my children as I can and even last week, my eldest grandaughter chided me for her hispanic genes because she doesn't tan evenly...and she did so lovingly. I think that each culture has positive and negative aspects to be viewed and appreciated. I see that being viewed as an Anglo for most of my life has benefited me, or at least not held be back. Even now, I don't know how to answer the question. And even now, I wonder about my outlook on life if I had tipped the scales and been more of a hispanic and less of an anglo. It is, I'm afraid, an unanswered question.
I hope I haven't bored you.
Tom from California
11 months ago
Buldog, thank you for your well written and thoughtful response. This is an issue that many of us on this site have had to deal with considering the age we were raised in. Assimilation was encouraged in our growing up years. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. My parents efforts made my life in this world easier. Learning and understanding the culture you are being raised in is only logical. Like many things we have done in this young nation we were naive and did not understand the implications of our actions down the line. Our parents did the best they could for us under the circumstances. They weren't 100% right, but they weren't 100% wrong either. We now know to take pride in our heritage and I myself revel in the fact I am a little different from everyone else. I confront prejudice instead of avoid it. I consider myself an example and teacher instead of the victim of ignorance. I am so happy you are bringing your two halves together and helping others. We need more hermanos like you.
11 months ago
Not bored at all Tom.
It's very interesting stuff.
I myself speak with a Spanish accent having come to the states at the age of 14.
But my children do not speak Spanish, because their father, a NYRican, could barely speak it.
This was because his own father encouraged his children to speak English in order to gain acceptace.
So, Yeah...I hear what you're saying.
Now it makes sense.
But hang out with us amigo...and get hold of that heritage!
No esta perdido!
It's very interesting stuff.
I myself speak with a Spanish accent having come to the states at the age of 14.
But my children do not speak Spanish, because their father, a NYRican, could barely speak it.
This was because his own father encouraged his children to speak English in order to gain acceptace.
So, Yeah...I hear what you're saying.
Now it makes sense.
But hang out with us amigo...and get hold of that heritage!
No esta perdido!
11 months ago
Thanks for the reply. I hear you loud and clear. Although I do not appear white. I look Latina, or Italian or Greek I never learned about my culture either. I am as my sister has always said, "brown on the outside and white on the inside." Sometimes I have cried about this. I feel I have missed so much of what makes a Latino a Latino. And that is one of the reasons I started this group. I was rather curious how many others like me there are. Mexican, or what have you, yet not truly tied to their heritage.
My parents only spoke Spanish at home or to each other in public. We, were taught to speak only English and discouraged from speaking Spanish. Now I wish so much that I could speak fluent Spanish. It is a beautiful language.
But, look, we could not predict the future. And now the times are changing.
Now, it is a "OK" to be who you are. It is "ok" to be part of the salad that makes America what it is.
Sometimes some of the things I have heard, said to me, in game rooms and such makes me realize that there is still much discrimination. I have been told very cruel things, things I didn't realize that some of my latino breathern have probably always heard. Somehow I have been shielded from so much discrimination. And I am thankful to a degree.
So, what is the bottom line for me? I am thankful for what I have. I am thankful for who I am becuase whatever my past or my future might have been it really had nothing to do with me being a Latina or not. It had to do with how and waht I did with my life to lead me to where I am now. Happy with my family and proud of my children. Happy with my accomplishments which may mean nothing to anyone, but which mean something to me.
I guess the bottom line is we reap what we sow. WE have made our own bed and whether we have lined it with rose petals or thorns, that is what we have made it. One can always change how they live and what they do if possible, one, however, cannot change how God created them. So, say your prayers and be thankful and say, "All I can do is the best I can do for myself and for those around me." That's all one really can do. And that is what we are meant to do.
Thank you for your openness Buldog!
My parents only spoke Spanish at home or to each other in public. We, were taught to speak only English and discouraged from speaking Spanish. Now I wish so much that I could speak fluent Spanish. It is a beautiful language.
But, look, we could not predict the future. And now the times are changing.
Now, it is a "OK" to be who you are. It is "ok" to be part of the salad that makes America what it is.
Sometimes some of the things I have heard, said to me, in game rooms and such makes me realize that there is still much discrimination. I have been told very cruel things, things I didn't realize that some of my latino breathern have probably always heard. Somehow I have been shielded from so much discrimination. And I am thankful to a degree.
So, what is the bottom line for me? I am thankful for what I have. I am thankful for who I am becuase whatever my past or my future might have been it really had nothing to do with me being a Latina or not. It had to do with how and waht I did with my life to lead me to where I am now. Happy with my family and proud of my children. Happy with my accomplishments which may mean nothing to anyone, but which mean something to me.
I guess the bottom line is we reap what we sow. WE have made our own bed and whether we have lined it with rose petals or thorns, that is what we have made it. One can always change how they live and what they do if possible, one, however, cannot change how God created them. So, say your prayers and be thankful and say, "All I can do is the best I can do for myself and for those around me." That's all one really can do. And that is what we are meant to do.
Thank you for your openness Buldog!
11 months ago
HI PJ;
LOVE your response "It's ok to be part of the salad that makes America"
Is there any better way to describe who we are and where we are today?
I would not live anywhere else. With all it's faults...with all that's right or wrong, it's still a great place to be. I am grateful to wake up and not be fearful of what the day will bring. Many who went before us paid the price for what we enjoy today. It is important that we not forget them and walk the paths that they have marked for us.
have a wonderul weekend. Live life for all that it's worth.
Tom from California
LOVE your response "It's ok to be part of the salad that makes America"
Is there any better way to describe who we are and where we are today?
I would not live anywhere else. With all it's faults...with all that's right or wrong, it's still a great place to be. I am grateful to wake up and not be fearful of what the day will bring. Many who went before us paid the price for what we enjoy today. It is important that we not forget them and walk the paths that they have marked for us.
have a wonderul weekend. Live life for all that it's worth.
Tom from California
11 months ago
We have all experience discrimination in one from or another. My background is quite different from yours, buldog and PJ. My parents and grandparents were all born in Texas but if your skin had the copper tint of the mesoamerican you were considered Mexican. My parents went against the grain and rather than running or acclimating to the discrimination they approached it head on. My dad worked hard and then they bought a house right smack in the middle of gringolandia. All our friends were children of prominent white people who probably didn't like the facts their kids played with us. Then they began the remodel of the house so that it was the nicest one on the block. We were taught never to deny our heritage and on the contrary to wear it proudly. We even got a little brainwashing as bigoted as it sounds. We were discouraged from dating Anglos. I did, but never considered them as a partner. Somehow the lack of being able to relate to my culture was a big negative against them. My parents were also very persuasive to keeping our bloodline complete Latino (sounds like reverse white supremist....Yikes) Needless to say we all chose Latino partners. I dated a Anglo man and we went to the cultural museum. As we were walking through the past governors and historical figures of Texas history he was pointing out his great grandparents and uncles. I walked over to a picture or migrant workers and said,"These hardworking people are probably my family." He had no answer. While in Mexico I got asked many times if I was Mexican. I said no I am a 4th generation Texas who never lost touch with her roots and language. In conclusion, It is never to late to get in touch with our roots and take pride on the people that brought us to where we stand today. Wear our heritage with pride.
11 months ago
It is never too late amigo, you are embracing your heritage now, and that is a good thing. It wasn't you fault how you parents raised you, they only wanted the best for you, and you suceeded because of that. at that time that was really the best way to go. Be proud of who you are wether spanish or anglo, the content of your character is what matters. you seem to be a good father and grandfather. The actor Martin Sheen also had to use his anglo name of Sheen instead of Esteves in order to be accepted as an actor, but he is proud to let everyone know of his spanish heritage. there are millions who have gone through the same thing. Anglo or Mexican you are our brother.
11 months ago
MORE INPUT
I saw the comment that qvo wrote that said when she was in Mexico that she was asked if she was Mexican and she said no, I'm 4th generation Texican.
Background...Outside of Los Angeles is an upscale neighborhood called Glendale. Nice little town that's not cheap to live in.
A mexican comedian tells the story that someone asks him where he was born. He replies "Mexico". Again he's asked, "what part?' He replies "Glendale"
The border between Mexico and the United States has moved several times. I sometimes reflect with a smile that, since I was born in California, it might be possible that I would be a Mexican citizen, depending on where the border was at the time of my birth.
Another part of the interesting question posed by PJ. What if things had been different??????
My thanks to each and every one of you for your response and positive comments......
Tom from california
I saw the comment that qvo wrote that said when she was in Mexico that she was asked if she was Mexican and she said no, I'm 4th generation Texican.
Background...Outside of Los Angeles is an upscale neighborhood called Glendale. Nice little town that's not cheap to live in.
A mexican comedian tells the story that someone asks him where he was born. He replies "Mexico". Again he's asked, "what part?' He replies "Glendale"
The border between Mexico and the United States has moved several times. I sometimes reflect with a smile that, since I was born in California, it might be possible that I would be a Mexican citizen, depending on where the border was at the time of my birth.
Another part of the interesting question posed by PJ. What if things had been different??????
My thanks to each and every one of you for your response and positive comments......
Tom from california
11 months ago
Thanks Tomas.
And yes, QVO, absolutely! It is never too late. I married an Anglo and I have to say he treats me like a queen (because I am --HAHA JUST KIDDING!); no, he is very, very,very good to me.
I am proud of the fact that I am a Latina and I wish truly that I had more of a history of it to share with my granddaughters. They do call me Guela though!
Our city has experienced much growth, an explosion actually, of Latinos coming to our area. It was kind of fun being "one of a kind," when we first moved here.
Andale! --Pajarito
And yes, QVO, absolutely! It is never too late. I married an Anglo and I have to say he treats me like a queen (because I am --HAHA JUST KIDDING!); no, he is very, very,very good to me.
I am proud of the fact that I am a Latina and I wish truly that I had more of a history of it to share with my granddaughters. They do call me Guela though!
Our city has experienced much growth, an explosion actually, of Latinos coming to our area. It was kind of fun being "one of a kind," when we first moved here.
Andale! --Pajarito
11 months ago
