who knows what is normal.....it is not normal to lose the one we love and trust the most.....
when i lost ernest, i cleared everything out, and started over...all of his things are packed in storage...i have pictures of him on the walls and i look through the photo albums....he was the love of my life...
do you have friends or family close by? if so pick a day and do it alone or with the kids, just choose one room and clean it from top to bottom....but only do one room at a time. don't overwelm yourself by trying to do it all at once.
you have to just force yourself to get things done.....ernest always did the laundry and changed the litter box for the cat on sundays, our day together. i couldn't force myself to do my laundry, i just kept going to walmart and buying more underware... i finally just had to give in, and i cried like a baby. by doing my own clothes, i had to admit he was really gone. and i hated to admit that he would not just walk back in the front door.
the mind can play with you alot. but don't let it...just force yourself to do things that need to be done.
take care, and let us know how you are doing...maryb from MO
Hi
First of all my condolsences for your loss-you have lost your wife, and best friend but you have no lost your mind. God is with you even if it doesnt feel like it. You need time to grief and heal. You have taken a step forward you have joined Eons and that is a good thing-There are lots of great, geat people here who can help. They have gone through the same things as you and have managed to pull it together. we will be here fo you -just let us help.
together.
Hi Shorty,
No you are not loosing your mind or going crazy. Those of us who have lost our spouses usually end up asking or wondering the same thing. I have heard it time and time again.
I am so sorry for the loss of your wife and married 26 years what a wealth of memories you must have. I lost my husband 28 months ago and we were married 35 years.
It has only been 9 months Shorty, that is such a short time..you are still grieving her death very deeply and that is not only normal but understandable. You can't love that long and that deeply without it hurting deeply as well.
There are many, myself included, who walked around in a fog for almost a year. It was to difficult to remember even the simplest things or do the simplest things. Don't worry about the house for now...it is important that you have food as you must eat and take care of yourself. YOU are the important one right now. It is so easy to fall into a pattern of not taking care of yourself after a death like this. As for thinking about doing stupid things...if you mean what I think you mean you do need to talk to someone. Anyone...a friend, family, a pastor or call a 911 helpline. You can't do anything to yourself. It won't change the fact that your wife is gone and would she want you to do what you are thinking? No I'm sure she wouldn't.
Don't worry about getting things cleaned out of the house that were hers right now or making any changes. It is said that for the first year no major changes should be made. If having her things around does bother you then box them up (or get someone to help you box them up) and just store them somewhere until later when you are more settled and ready to make decisions. If you do it now you may discard something that later you wished you had kept.
Take care my friend and know you are not alone. We are here and we care about YOU.
Hugs of healing and friendship,
Jarcy
posted by Jarcy
over 4 years ago
Hey Shortie,
The pain of grief can last a long time and lingers in some form for the rest of our lives. For people who have been together most of their lives it is a huge adjustment.
I wonder if you have enough support to assist you as you go through this difficult process. Many people do find a grief counselor extremely helpful and I think this could be very beneficial to you at this time. Speaking with someone who truly understands is very healing and can help you begin to deal with the overwhelm and dispair you are experiencing.
Interview a few people to find a good fit. Having someone knowledgeable about grief supporting you can make this process easier.
Good luck and let us know how you are doing.
Hello shorty, just read ur blog. What u are experiencing is grief, and thats ok, There is no time limit on it, but it will get a bit easier to bare, just take the time u need. Crying is good, it gets it out, its an emotional expression, and a safety valve. If you feel things are just to much to bare, do seek professional help, it is there for you. One day, as time goes on your sadness will turn to the fonsest memories you and you lovely wife shared, and u will smile. The Sun will shine again for you smiley.
