paddrick - I wish I had an answer for you. I have the same questions you are asking.
You are ahead of me in that we don't have wills. I have been asking for a recomendation of an estate lawyer.
Did you use a lawyer and how did you find one?
Sorry for the delay in responding; I've been on the road.
To find a lawyer to write our wills, we contacted the bar association for Washington State, and got several referrals for where we live. After looking up three on the web, we selected one to write our wills.
None of us thought of Love Last Standing at the time. That's why I started this group, thinking that we are not alone in this situation.
Sounds like without a will, you need to start from scratch. Washington State is a community property state. As to a will, you need a lawyer in your state.
Funny thing; we are set if we both die while able to care for ourselves and our finances. But if both of us become unable to do so while still alive, we are not sure what to do.
We are looking to contact a bank or trust company with a trust department that may offer some help.
But before we do that, we are checking with others to learn what they have done.
Paddy
We have been asking folks for lawyer referrals, but so far no one has recommended one.
I knew we needed wills and had actually started looking into it. Then my husband fell and broke 4 ribs. That really got me scared and it hit me like a brick - we don’t have anyone. We moved to Texas a year ago and don’t even know our neighbors.
Searching the internet I found something called a Continuing Care Retirement Community. I haven’t found anyone who knows anything about them.
The concept is you buy into a community. The community has all the different levels of care. Once you live there you are guaranteed care for the rest of your life without ever leaving the community.
Kinda sounds like an institution and you better like your neighbors.
At some you have your own house.
Others are more like condominiums and then there are ones like hotels.
I don’t know the price of the buy in, but there is a monthly charge.
I hope you get more suggestion.
When you did your will were you able to designate someone to oversee it?
Did the lawyer have any suggestions?
Gtmgrandma asked: “When you did your will were you able to designate someone to oversee it? Did the lawyer have any suggestions?”
Ans: As I understand it, a will does not have any effect until the person who made it dies. We have wills. The survivor of the first of us to die gets everything. When the survivor dies, what ever is left is distributed according to the terms of the will of the last to die.
What I’m concerned about is not death, but if either or both my wife and I become feeble minded and cannot manage our finances whether we are living at our home or in a continuing care retirement community.
Your idea sounds worth looking into; to check with a couple of continuing care retirement communities to see exactly what services they do provide in the event a “resident” becomes incapacitated.
If such custodial and guardianship services are provided, the costs will be interesting to review.
Thanks for sharing that idea.
Paddy
Did you need to designate an executor or administrator of your will or does the state take care of it?
We live in Texas.
I wish there was more input on this subject.
Do you think we are the only ones? :)
Let me know what you find out about Continuing Care Retirement Communities also known as life care?
We are having quite a dance, aren’t we? I used to live in Texas. After vacationing seven years in a row in the Pacific Northwest, we moved to Washington State in the “Big Mosey” of 1992. Like Texas, Washington is also a community property state, with no income tax; there is a 8 + percent sales tax.
My understanding, and it’s been awhile, is that if you don’t have a will or fail to designate an executor in your will, the state will do that for you. If you don’t have a will, the state already has one for you; when you die, your property will be divvied up according the state law. The problem is that you may not like the way it is divvied or who is appointed the executor if you are the last love standing. Also, the expenses of the courts and lawyers, etc for dying without a will are significant compared to having a will.
I agree about the lack of input. We seem to be a rare breed; most folk have family of some sort who might help with this challenge. But some of those who do have family, you have to ask whether family can be trusted?
So maybe more folk, including many with family, should be interested in this topic. Over time, let’s hope others will join us.
P.S. Get yourselves a lawyered up will. You will save a lot more than you spend in the long run. And you'll sleep better too.
Paddy
The lack of input.
What about changing the subject?
Personnaly I love the title, but I was specifically looking for information when I found it. There are probably more who could benefit and just don’t know it yet. And hopefully some who have worked through the issues and are no longer looking for ideas. Their input would be great.
Wish I had a suggestion for a new subject, I will need to give it some thought.
Do you know of another site that is geared to the more mature folks?
OH YES, we will use a lawyer.
The Pacific Northwest is beautiful. I think you moved the right way. We moved from San Diego to Texas, DUMB.
What an importnt topic! I am 62 and single and also have no one to rely on that will clean up after me! My mother who is 85 is still alive and lives with my brother who is in his 50's but is sick. I fully expect to out live him.
Their home is mortgaged and mine is almost paid for. I cannot get him to sign a Power of Attorney for medical or financial care.
I am thinking that I will ask the daughter of my best friend if she will accept that responsibility for me.
Dear bonelady,
Thank you for participating and posting.
I know that some parents of small children name adult family members or friends as guardians of the children and name the adult family members or friends (who will serve as guardians) as trustees of assets placed aside in a trust to care for the small children if both parents die.
While that is not you case, the idea is similar. If you become incapacitated and need someone to care for you and manage your finances, in addition to naming someone as guardian and custodian, you can consider creating a trust that will provide assets for the trustee to care for you.
Of course, this is something you should visit with a lawyer or professional about. My guess is that different states have different ways of approaching such a matter.
If you are able to get it sorted out, let us know how it will work for you.
Paddy
BONELADY
We have almost the same situation. I am 60 and my mother is 83. My brother was to care for her. When he died my mother moved in with us.
I am not only worried about my husband and me, but also my mother.
PADDRICK
Thanks for the guardianship lead.
