I am sure what you say is true....
I must confess, rather than forgiving I always felt that learning from your experience and finding out the "why"of what happened gives you the positive answer of it's occurance.
I have in my entire life of 53+ yrs always tried to find out the positive I could learn from the negative that has happened in my life...
Forgiveness is a bit difficult when the person or experience cannot be revisited /readdressed due to various reasons...
I understand what you're saying, Samidha, but I chose to forgive and put things to rest. I hope I always learn from my experiences, both good and bad, but it was difficult for me to "unload" some things if I didn't forgive them. It is not necessary to actually see someone or something in order to forgive it. I have no contact with the people I forgave (one is actually deceased now), although I occasionally see one of them who lives in my neighborhood. By forgiving, I took their power over me from the situation. It stopped being an issue, and it freed me to concentrate on happier, more positive things.
I have forgiven my neighbor time and time again. And each time I do, she strikes like a cobra. I have "let it go"....her constant attacks... but I will never ever speak to her again...
Why do you put yourself in a position for her to strike you, bella? If there's bad energy there, you shouldn't even waste your time. I may be wrong, but I don't think forgiving someone means you let them continue to abuse you!
One of my promises to myself for 2010 Clarity is to not be at odds with anyone or if they chose not to play then I will just release that situation from my mind and move forward. It then becomes theirs to deal with and the negativity borne by them .....I am working on positive things and trying to realize positive energy to move me to a place I want and need to be.
Yes, Sam ... even if the person is not available for you to express anything to, forgiveness only happens within your own heart. Forgiving does not necessarily mean saying anything to anybody. The past can not be changed, and you are right about looking at the big picture and finding the lesson you learned. Continuing to harbor bad feelings is not hurting the other person at all. It is hurting you until you let it go.
Sharkey...that's a great promise to yourself. Letting go and moving on is absolutely a good thing! It's a promise that will give you the world.
I believe that true forgiveness is only accomplished when you have forgotten. Forgive and forget is the old expression. That is because if you still know why you have made the act of forgiveness, you have not fully forgiven, you have only come to terms with it. Which in itself is a good thing, but it is not true forgiveness. True forgiveness is when you have forgotten the offense.
I disagree MIM ..... forgetting is most likely never possible in my mind. There is another saying "you can forgive but you cannot forget". I believe learnings in life come from our experiences, both good and bad. If you forget all that has happened to you that was bad, then you have not learned anything about those situations and you are destined to repeat them ...... Forgive yes ..... but forget, no so much .... I prefer to build my knowledge base and not forget what got me into trouble before ...... just saying
I agree with Sharkey. Although I truly do feel I have forgiven, I haven't forgotten. However, that hasn't stopped me from moving on. I've simply made peace with the situations and have put them behind me. They are not issues for me any longer, and are not disrupting or interfering with my life.
