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WOW...I'm with you. I see older couples out still RVing and think about when that was us ... and we're younger. One night recently I was in our bedroom when DH was getting ready for bed and I just had to go back out in the livingroom. He looked so old and tired. I HATE this disease (Parkinson's/PSP) I' m getting teary just typing this so gotta go so he doesn't see it.

Both of you ladies need a hug and a security squeeze, so here they are, Bh & Squeeze, Bh & Squeeze. I am qualified to give them as I inhabit the same pergutory as you do. Pain shared is pain reduced simular to asprin but not as hard on the stomach.

Sweeties...both of you have my hugs too. I am just separated from my guy by miles...lots of them...and time. We will see each other again, even if briefly, but yours isn't something that will be solved with time. It is hard to keep your spirits and to also keep up your spouses too. Keep hanging in there. Keep posting here. WE will always be here to listen and give virtual hugs. I know that won't make the pain go away. It won't make things magically better, but maybe it will help to just know some people are waiting with a kind word and open hearts.
Love to botrh of you.... :)

THANK YOU, darn, now you;ve made me cry again...

amazingspirit, I joined caregivers because I am a caregiver for my Mother. Now, I am dealing with problems with my 72 year old husband. It started with his extreme irritability. Then side effects of Ambien and after Ambien, Dalmane. We have been married 45 years. I have found it helps to redirect him when he gets upset. I also have developed a thick skin as I get blamed for a lot. Tears help, but then there is the headache, swollen eyes, stuffy nose. (Yet, crying isn't a choice, it happens.) I enjoy the good days and am grateful for them. The bad days is just lived through. Hugs to you, amazing spirit. We are in this journey together, but we have help from some wise souls who have also been through what we are going through. Sherry H

It is so good to know that I am not alone in this struggle. I don't post often but read everything. My husband has prostate cancer which spread to his brain in a tumor which was removed. Then a stroke and more cancer in the bones. Now his balance is so bad that whenever he gets up I have to be right there to walk behind and catch him if needed. It seems every time I start something, he needs help. Most times this doesn't bother me because I understand how difficult all of this is for him. He has never been sick in his life until the diagnosis 3 years ago so he is angry a lot of the time and, of course, I get that anger turned on me since I am the only one around. Sometimes it is so lonely and I don't even call people because I am such a "downer". We were going to do so much when I retired but he was diagnosed and started treatments 1 month after.
Sorry this is so long but amazingspirit's post really struck home.
I'll take that hug.

I feel your pain. Yesterday He said Why are we saving for retirement I'm not gonna be around to see it. Ok more tearssssssss. How do people live through this. Im ususally on top of things. I dont stay down very long. Maybe I should give up to. It is just so hard. And every time somebody says take it one day at a time, This to shall pass etc. It just makes me cry more. I hate getting old. I hate it. The thing that really hurts is I cant help Him. I would gladly do it.

Jonjak, post as long as you like...I havent seen anything here that says it is limited. Hugs if you want one and if you dont well that is okay.

All of you keep posting. My mom isn't as bad off but her condition is such that the slightest fall could burst the aneursym in her brain or the slightest congestive cold could cause her lungs to collaspe for good. It is a fragile balance...and all I can do is worry and stress out.
I feel for you and your struggles. Just post often...I will listen and maybe help is some way.

My hugs are there for you all.

If or when my turn comes, I'm going to (try?) remember what you guys wrote here. It was straight from the heart. Thanks.

Ah, but you have your good memories of the times he did things with you, held your hand, protected you from harm. Try helping one who did none of those things for his wife in 46 years. Try being patient, and unconditionally loving one who only thought of himself and belittled everyone around him, especially me. Who was an angry tyrant until the Zoloft calmed him down so I could survive.
I would gladly trade you memories. I see older people out together, living life, holding hands, and wonder what it's like. I see older people struggling to move, ever so slowly, ever so carefully, using whatever aid they can use and I admire them and wonder why my husband won't even try.
Be glad for those memories because it could have been different. They might have been mine instead. I wouldn't wish my memories on anyone. And no, there's not a tear in my eye. I'm past that.