This will be the second holiday since I lost Todd. I am so dreading this time. I know we have been told that you are not left confortless, yet it does seem to be that way - I wish I lived in a larger city as I would seek out others who are sharing this walk and maybe do the New Years thing. Nothing is worse than being alone in a crowd. How are others of you planning to ring in the New Year?
My first Christmas and New Years Eve I spent with my kids, we started a new tradition for Christmas of putting my husbands cowboy hat on top of the tree, we strung it with lights and it is what we use to this day. For New Years day we stood and watched the rockets fired off the top of Pikes Peak, but still it was so hard not to have anyone to share that first kiss of the New Year with, to not have someone to plan the rest of the year with. There may be groups near you, maybe you could call a church to find one, or maybe a hospice in your area. I know if you were closer I would love to share the holidays with you May the days be kind Love Ya, Lyn
Ann passed away on Nov. 9, 2008, so this is technically my second holiday season without her, but last year barely counts. However, we started a tradition last year and will continue it again this year - dinner with the family at Ann's mother's place, open a few gifts, eat some cookies, etc. and go home. That'll be in Christmas Eve. Christmas day will be my time alone to contemplate.
Cathy...my second holiday season was just as difficult as the first, but now I'm on my 3rd and doing much much better this year...I have 3 young grand daughters and I live nearby them so I just enjoy Christmas through them....
I have had good help from hospice counseling and griefcare place though it's been over 6 months since I've attended anything....still miss him like crazy and new years probably will always be the pits...we got engaged on New years ever over 40 years ago...we always made it a special night...I have no plans to do anything that night at this point
Hang in there...if you ever get over my way let me know..I live near Akron OH we are the same age... Love, Lani
Greg passed away on Aug 21,2005 so this is my fifth year without him. I will spend Christmas as I have for the last 5 yrs that is to watch my Grandson open his presents along with my son and daughter in law. Eata very good breakfast that Chris has prepared and then go back to my room and spend time thinking of my Greg and my parents. I miss them all very much but I much rather have them healthy and happy than sick and miserable.
Cathiebeth...I am really starting to feel the "alone in a crowd" thing.
This is my first Christmas and New Years without Albie. I just marked three months on the 8th. I am numb most of the time.
Everyone is getting busier and busier. I am planning to attend a Christmas Eve party and be alone here Christmas Day. I am sure that I will be okay.
New Years' Eve I will open a bottle of Asti Spumante and drink some of it unless there are friends around and then, I will spend the night with them. We always drank Asti together on New Years' Eve. My husband was not a wine drinker but liked the bubbly sweetness of Asti.
I may try and find a Grief Group before then. That may be a good idea. Other people...same path.
I won't be alone Christmas Eve as those that can will be here at my house. Last year we lit candles for Todd - each as they felt drawn to do so. Don't know about New Years yet. I guess I don't explain well - I feel isolated even when I am with my wonderful big family - they really watch to make sure I am not too sad - so I put on the smile - but the pain is still sharp as a knife! I am so blessed and feel guilty that even these blessings are not enough.
Cathiebeth, I don't know if this will help any except to say that this is my second holiday without Jim and I feel the same as you do. I feel alone in a crowd and it still hurts so much. New Year's Eve was just the two of us and I still can't face it so like last year I'm going to bed before 12:00. I have given up the guilt thing though because although we may have blessings in our lives there is still the loss. We move at our own pace and I'm hoping that it will get better but until then I just have to acknowledge where I am. Joyce
Cathiebeth, I too am entering my second holiday season alone. I think I was still in some shock last year, but the reality is hitting pretty hard right now. I've finished up the gift-wrapping and shipping of gifts to my step-kids and grandbabies, and suddenly there is a void. I keep driving by the Christmas tree lot, I keep thinking about getting the decorations out, and I don't do anything. Christmas EVe and Christmas Day were always special to David and me... New Year's Eve not so much. We watched the countdown on Eastern time (I'm in the Pacific Time Zone) and went to bed early...
Cathiebeth, I will be spending Christmas Eve with my son and daughter-in law at her mothers house. This will be the second year and I think I will feel just as out of place as I did last year. I spend the night at my son's and go home in the morning to have dinner with my very good friends and neighbors. New Years Eve I started a new tradition with my Son and daughter-in law. Since they both have to work that day I bring dinner and cook it at there house. We also watch the fire works shot off of Pikes Peak. I spend the night and then go home in the morning. This holiday season i have kept myself very busy by doing volunteer work. I will miss Bob so much during this holiday.
I joined a support group and found it to be very helpful. I have made life long friends with the ladies in the group. We meet every week for dinner and are there for each other when we are feeling low. Three of us in the group lost our husbands in the same week so we have formed a special bond with each other.
It's been 7 months since Rick went home to be with God. I am missing him something awful today. It is raining cats and dogs outside and when it did we would jump into the car and drive in it. We also would walk around the block with an umbrella and enjoyed it so much. I had to do something outside tonight and used an umbrella to fix something he always took care of. I told him I was on a short walk with him and wished he was with me for the long walk we would be taking.
Having Christmas without him is not reality for me right now, I can't imagine it, still isn't real. I will be at my daughters on Christmas with her husbands family and ours, just as we have done for years. I don't want to be too sad for all my grandkids who miss him terribly also. Christmas was a good time for all the family, it will be hard. Zoe
