Would you date or Are you dating someone 20+ your jr?
No.
posted by okhela
over 2 years ago
I have not dated anyone younger than me yet, mainly because I don't seem to be attracted to young men (although I'll make an exception for Brad Pitt, Blair Underwood, or Morris Chestnut). I believe, however, dating a younger man would depend on his maturity level. I have met a few men who were twenty years younger who could actually maintain a conversation that did not include discussions about their ex-wives or girlfriends, sports, hip-hop or texting. LOL
Generally, though, because I'm petite and don't look my now sixty-one years, men tend to "think" I'm a youngun' and then get offended when I tell them "mommy is too old for you." (hee, hee, hee)
Rwilliery, this is not just crazy, it's scary. Several years ago, I realized that the "girls" that would come after my son were much more dangerous than the "boys" that would come after my daughters. I raised him accordingly.
What has happened in the mean time is that now I have to teach him to look out for the mothers of those little hoochies, too! I just saw the movie "Stella got her groove back, for the first time. That was about 5 or six months ago or so. After I saw it, a light bulb came on. I think that when "Stella got her grove back", a boundary was removed.
Personally, I would not have any respect for a woman like Stella. I know it's old fashioned, but I have always been of the mind that I would have a hard time not cutting her if she came after my son.
period
Of course, I have not had to deal with that, but, as far as I can tell, my faith has not changed that. I'd still have a hard time trying not to hurt any cougar who came after my son.
Having to work with all those juniors all day, every day, I couldn't imagine dating one. They are not serious enough about anything.
Well the man I've been with for the past 22 years is not 20 years my junior, but 10. At the time he and I began flirting with each other, neither of us had any idea how old the other was. We, at the time, worked at the same facility in different departments.
As time went by and we got to "know each other", I was off put by the fact that he was still at home with his parents, along with another brother, who was older and a sister, who was younger. I had been on my own since I was 23. What I didn't know at the time was....while he stilled lived with his parents, he owned 2 other properties in middle income neighborhoods which he managed, in addition to working both a full time and part time job, and this was the 1980's. He was the 9th of 13 children, 8 of whom had survived by the time he and I came to know each other. He grew up dirt poor, went into the military, went to college on the GI bill, and purchased the home he, his parents, brother and sister lived in with his VA benefits. The other 2 properties, he bought at a tax auction.
He graduated from a well known Ivy League school, 5th in his class, with a major in pre-med and a minor in finance. He grew up dirt poor, and vowed he'd never be poor again! He fulfilled his dream of taking care of his parents, who are now deceased, invested well in the stock market, owns 5 rental properties, several luxury cars, retired from his job at age 42, just 4 short years ago. He's a whiz in mechanics, home constrution, plumbing and electrical work.
When my mother passed away in 2004, the home I grew up in, as an only child was left to me. I lived in a condo at the time, with a mortgage. He convinced me to sell my condo, and use the money to remodel the house. It sits on 3/4 of an acre, is a corner lot, was a starter with 2BR, 1B, K, LR, DR. He did all the oversight over the project, even physically assisted in the reconstruction, electrical updates and plumbing updates. The result is now a 4BR, 2 1/2B, LR, formal DR, modern K, with a circular driveway, a side yard with a year round garden, multiple fruit trees and scrumptious landscaping.
When did I discover he was 10 years younger? 3 years into the relationship as he taught me how to read the financial pages, invest in stocks, rehab houses while providing stimulating debates on politics, religion, life and relationships. I was both floored and hooked by that time. My mama told me, in his case, age was just a number and I'b be a fool to let that one go, and she didn't raise no fool!
Not all "younger" men are about hip hop, being a player, no ambition, or not interested in education. Not all of them are out to "take". My younger man "gave" and gives on a daily basis. We like the same things and have the same goals.
Why have I not retired? I could, but I love what I do. Nursing is my passion, second only to my love of God and the younger man in my life.
If that makes me a Cougar, then I'm a damn happy and lucky one! And......he is one happy and lucky "cub", if I say so myself!
I could spend some time with a guy 20 years younger, if he has taken good care of himself. Mind you, we're talking very late 30's here. These guys aren't kids. Most guys I know that my age are stuffy old fuddy duddies who are set in their ways and basically boring. They treat women like idiots, which is the biggest insult to me.
When you look at dating sites, the majority of the senior men's preference is expressed for younger women. Whatz up with that? Personally, I would not have anything in common with some one 20 years my junior. Plus they are probaly looking for their Mother and/or a Sugar Mama.
hi----ImaSoapNutt....you are truly blessed to have met this young man.....and to each; their own.....But, would I date a man that is much younger than me?.....no.....
Dating a man 20+ years her junior sez more about her than him!!!
Hopefully, she has learned how to grow old gracefully, stylishly, honorably and "age appropriately sexy" without robbing the cradle.
We are called "seasoned women."
This is the exact quality that makes us attractive to younger men: we embrace our "seasoned-ness." We roll with confidence and absolute certainty that we look good...and are good. Men of our generation still are threatened and can't handle it. To young men, it's like catnip. They don't feel threatened.
The Downside:
There ain't enough "spanx body shapers" in the known universe to hide "all 'dat" when the clothes come off!!!!! :-) :-)
Tina Turner is the "Cougar Emeritus."
Tina's been in a relationship for the last 15 years or so with a man 10+ years her junior. Of course he's Belgian/French or Belgian/German (something like that) and they live in a fabulous palazzo on the Riviera or the Tuscan Coast or the Mediterranean (some sunny, romantic place over there) and Tina gracioiusly sent condolences to Ike's funeral, but she didn't budge (and she shouldn't have), i.e. she seems to be very content with her life and her "young man in the sun."
Would I date a man ...
... 20+ years my junior? Never.
...15 years my junior? Maybe
... 10 years my junior? Yes, and am (and also one 2 years my senior!)
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