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Its still hard to make it through Christmas and this will be the 5th one without our son Clay. Just remember let it be known that nothing should be expected of you. If you go some where make sure you park where you can just up and leave. Dont go where things might upset you. I wqas talking to a friend and realized we where in the young men clothing. i told her i had to get out of there. Im not decorating this year. Im tried of it. Is such a family thing nad when part of you family is missing well... Be prepared. My brother addressed a christmas card to my husband, me and my daughter. I told him for now on to adress them as the Glee family. Its just hard. Remember Dec 13th to luight a candle at 7pm for and hour

This will be my first Christmas without my daughter as well. Its been 8 months since we lost her, and everyday is still a battle. My fiance and I are going today to have our Christmas pictures taken. Our Christmas pictures last year, I still had her in my belly, and we were so happy. When she was in the hospital she had a little doll called a snoodle, that I slept with while I was pregnant and I rubbed my scent on it. She loved that doll, and always cuddled up with it the best she could. So today we're bringing the snoodle to be in our pictures with us, as a reminder that she was here and will always be with us. I was told by a mother who lost her daughter shortly after she was born that it's theraputic and comforts families to have a symbol of their life.

Grinny, I feel the same way as you do about the address of the card. I sign our cards with all of our names

The Christmas cards have started arriving, even though most everyone knows we lost our daughter in August. I don't understand how people can send you a card wishing you "A Merry Christmas" in these circumstances. I have sent "Thinking of You" cards to people who have been bereaved in the past but I guess they just go through their Christmas list without thinking, after all, it hasn't happened to them! We are not doing Christmas this year, no cards, no decorations and are going away for the holiday period. It will be interesting to see how many people send cards next year when they don't get one from us this year.

Sometimes people are very insensitive and don't seem to put a lot of thought into how their message is perceived by a grieving parent. There are also those people who just don't know what to do or say and often in an effort to be supportive they end up saying or doing something wrong.
The lesson that I learned is that people do care, they just have no idea how to be around us or treat us.

My advice for the holidays would be for each person to do what feels right to them. If that means no tree, no decorations or no celebrations that's fine and you don't owe it to anyone to explain yourself.

Remember that healing is a long process and sometimes you can only do it in baby steps. One day at a time may be too much to handle, break it down to one hour at a time or one minute at a time. Do whatever works for you and gives you the most relief.

For those of you who have recent loss's please know that my heart goes out to you. I remember the pain and the heartache as if it was yesterday. I have survived 14 Christmas's now and believe me I never expected to make it through the first one.

I wish each and everyone of you Peace and Healing.

This will be our second Christmas without Rashad. For so long we had been separated from family because of where we lived so we celebrated Christmas with just the six of us, presents, dinner and usually watching a movie or something on TV. This year will be different as last year we were in the middle of moving and trying to get settled into a new environment. I have found that doing things in rememberance of Rashad, whether it be lighting a candle or talking about him with my family helps me get through the moment. We plan on going to his gravesite on Christmas and spending a little time there simply because it will help me get through the day. Someone made a post about receiving a card and the family member left off their son's name, I make it a point to include Rashad's name on cards that I give because he is a part of our family.

I agree with you lost in that people care they just don't know how to be around us or how to treat us or even what to say so they usually end up saying or doing something wrong.

Take it one day at a time and do what feels right to you, because you are the one suffering and people who have not lost a child simply do not understand the pain. I have stopped trying to justify why I am still grieving to those who don't understand, I simply say, I have lost a child that I carried inside me for nine months, took care of when they couldn't so I cannot simply just get over his loss and move on, it takes time. I am still in the healing process and at times it hits me like a ton of bricks that Rashad is no longer here, some days are a real struggle and on those days, I take it one baby step at a time allowing myself the room to cry and grieve if I feel the need to do so.

To all of you who have recently suffered a loss, you are in the right place for we all understand your pain and are here to support each other.

Blessings to all.

My son Drew has been gone foe eight years and it still hurts to get through the holidays. The first Christmas he was gone We had a special gathering with family and Drew's friends and their parents too, they all loved Drew. That helped me get through that day.It's still a struggle, if it weren't for my grand daughter I don't think I would decorate and do all the stuff we always did.
she makes it worth the effort. I do dread the holidays coming around each year, but I do honor the day of our Lords birth. When I lost my baby, David so many years ago, he passed away on Dec.5th, so that looms in on me too.He was a beautiful little boy. I really have had a hard time with this time of year for over 30yrs.In a couple of days would be his birthday and the day he passed. I can remember coming home from the hospital without my baby like it was yesterday. Being right before Christmas and everyone else being happy and the Christmas music. it was really bad. I remember hearing Away in a manger and just losing it, total breakdown. i have lost two boys and It doesn't matter how many years go by it's still there. People get mad at me sometimes because I don't show up at parties, who wants to go to a party when this time of year takes me back to a painful event in my life. I'm sure it's wrong but this time of year brings alot of grief and stress for me and people can easily get on my nerves and I wish they would just go away and leave me alone. I'm just a real Christmas joy I am.
Thanks for listening to me vent,
Drewsmom and David's too